“Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog” Changes Our Lives

Bob is no longer an unknown writer. He is in high demand. At least twice a week he is on North America talk shows with me and Dillie the Westie at his side. His previous books “Virus # 26,”, “Mutantism on the March” and “Life at Up Up and Away Investment Management International”, which were published in a serialized format on the internet, have been published by Big House Publishers in New York and are1,2 and 3 on the New York Times best seller list. He is writing a screenplay for ABC about “Bosco the Rescue Dog” based on the pitch for a series ABC wanted about me. Disney had entered a merchandising contract with Turner Classic Movies for a series of wines called “Reggie and the Tramp” and Bob receives a 10% cut of gross revenues.

Bob has said to Fay we have more money than we know how to deal with so they have decided to donate 25% of all net revenues received from the Disney Film to the rescue society that brought me from Cairo to Toronto provided Fay gets a seat on their Board of Directors.

But Bob’s success with the Reggie story has caused problems. Due to his wealth, popularity and the death threat by the Brothers of Egypt we have had to move to a swanky new house in the exclusive Bridle Path neighbourhood of Toronto and have become neighbours to a singer called Drake and Gordon Lightfoot. We have high walls around our house and a security detail outside the entrance gate. When Dillie and I go for walks there is a security guard armed to the teeth that walks with us. We kind of get used to it but I think we have lost some of our freedom. For the time being I am not allowed off leash. Dillie and I feel we are in a bit of a medium security prison but this may be the price we paid for being famous. Bob and Fay gave their house to their son Drew on the condition he take care of me and Dillie when Bob and Fay go on vacation which may not be for awhile considering the death threat on Bob’s head. The Muslim Association of Canada has issued a press release saying there is no blasphemy in a dog praying to Allah saying that all creatures big and small have a spiritual side to their being. They also welcomed the movie saying it was an opportune time to have a Muslim dog the hero of a story and an inspiration to all children irrespective of their religion. Even the hardline clerical government of Iran has permitted the film to be distributed in Iran hoping that the film will bring about better understanding and reactions amongst Iran and the United States. This movie is far bigger than anyone thought. There are rumours that Bob may receive the Nobel Peace Prize for literature! I am supposed to not say anything to anyone but Bob will be receiving the Order of Canada in a few months for his book “Reggie The Egyptian Rescue Dog” for fostering a better understanding between Canadian Muslims and the rest of the population of Canada. Bob and Fay have also made sizeable contributions to Canadian First Nations groups to improve water quality in their communities.

What has not changed is the love and care Dillie the Westie and I receive from Bob and Fay. What more could any dog want except perhaps for chunks of cheese that “accidentally” fall on the floor or pieces of meat that mysteriously end up in our bowls from time to time! We dogs are food centric!

This is quite an achievement for a lowly street dog on the edge of a miserable death on the streets of Cairo. And I say proudly and without reservation in my nightly prayers a sincere thanks to Allah for all that he has done for me so there Brothers of Egypt stick THAT UP YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT! You dare touch Bob and I will return to Egypt and lead a pack of street dogs and hunt you down. I may have a comfortable life but you will see I have not lost my street fighting spirit!

“Reggie The Egyptian Rescue Dog ” : The World Premiere of “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog

Off we all fly to Los Angeles for the world premiere of “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog”. We are staying in a huge Beverly Hills mansion but all the interviews will be at the Ritz-Carlton Los Angeles. And security is heavy as Bob has received death threats from an Egyptian terrorist group “Bothers of Egypt” upset at the portrayal of Egyptian society and furious as the fact that I, as a lowly dog, pray to Allah which they call blasphemy. These are the type of small minded men that arrested and executed my original master Anwar for writing articles critical of the Egyptian government for betrayers of the Arab Spring. Hateful. Narrow minded and fanatical they are dangerous scum. Dogs are seen as playthings of the infidels. Most street dogs in Cairo have more morals and decency than these self-appointed guardians of the faith. In this world crazy politics and ideologies make me proud to be a dog but then again there are so many kind humans that helped me Egypt I must not forget that and Bob made that very clear when helping to write the screenplay.

In fact Bob and Fay have had to sell their house and move to the Bridle Path area in Toronto. Our new house is massive and well fortified and will be manned by private security. We have a famous musician on our new street called Drake who I have heard much about in the BBC show “Entertainment” and another older musician called Gordon Lightfoot who I know nothing about other than he his loved by many Canadian Boomers.

Bob, Fay, Dillie the Westie and I attend the interviews along with the crew that worked on the film and the actors that are doing the voice overs. Cameras are popping and questions galore? Then we move to a small suite for interviews with leading networks and publications. I recognize the anchor from BBC America News and romp up to her and give a friendly bark and she pats me. Reggie the former street dog, on the head and gives me a little hug! Then that news anchor from ABC news I see after the BBC news every night and he also gives my head a firm ruffle! Dillie has a big smile on his face like when he goes off-leash. He gets lots of comments how cute and sweet he is and boy he is all groomed and looks like the sharpest and coolest Westie.

The interviewers ask Bob if he has some fear about his safety after the death threats from the Brothers of Egypt. He replies that he is but no one could have foreseen the idiocy of such a group. Bob says the film is really meant for children but it has a deeper meaning of the plight of street dogs of Egypt and the special people there and in Canada that are doing all they can to stop the poisoning and killing of so many dogs in governmentally encouraged culls. Bob says he means no disrespect to Egyptians and Islam by his story but that it has changed his life and the life of me, Fay and Dillie the Westie. So it has been a very long day and dinner is brought to us at our temporary home. We sit and eat by the television and there is yet another story of a black person being gunned down by a white policeman. There is not only madness on the streets of Cairo but on the streets of the United States!

Bob takes Dillie and I for a walk on the grounds of the gated mansion and we are so tired we all head back to bed as tomorrow night is the world premiere of “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog”!

Morning comes strangely to both dogs and humans who are bound by circadian rhythms. We are up at 7 a.m. in Toronto as Dillie the Westie barks to go out and pee and tired Bob lumbers down to take my ageing pal out and me too to keep Dillie company. But 7 a.m. in Toronto time is 4 a.m. here in Los Angeles or “LA” as they call it. Bladders and brains are all mixed up! But we do our business and every human and dog sleeps until 10 a.m. and we are wide awake.

Bob and Fay head downstairs and give us dogs a hug and kind words. And Carmela an older Mexican lady has prepared Mexican homemade dog food for Dillie and I with pork and black beans and it is like nothing we have eaten before. We wag our tails and ask for more with a gentle bark and Carmela obliges. OMG so good and different. The black beans give us some gas but not the runs….thank goodness. Bob and Fay have Huevos Rancheros and tortillas and a big pot of coffee, Dillie and I love the smell of coffee but we only have it when our cleaning lady in Toronto, Paula, comes every second Wednesday. Bob and Fay are green tea drinkers. Dillie bit Paula early on and was banished to the crate every time she comes. But I am good with Paula. These West Highland Terriers can be so possessive and territorial. I am not making any judgement on my brother Dillie a I love him and respect his territoriality.

We spend the morning by the pool with Bob throwing us balls until we are panting and too tired to continue. At 2 p.m. Carmela prepares a Mexican feast of epic proportions. And we get a special homemade Mexican dogfood feast with Pork and Chicken without any beans. Bob and Fay have a drink called Marguerites.

At 4 p.m. we get ready to go to the premiere. As dogs running and playing we are smelling very doggy and receive a quick bath by “dog trainers”. We are primed and ready to go and we head off to a big theatre in LA. There is a red carpet and for security reasons we appear for 15 minutes and go back to the “green Room” to get ready for the film.

We are backstage and ready to go. We meet many big Hollywood stars. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson pick me up and as Rita and Tom are Greek Orthodox like Fay they say come visit us in Greece on our island. Our jet is at our disposal.

There are famous people all over. The film runs and there is quiet then  standing ovations for half an hour. Dillie and I are picked up and the crowd goes wild.

Indications are as we read the critic’s reviews in the L.A. papers next morning this is the Disney hit of the century.

The cast party was a dream for anyone in the Hollywood National Enquirer sphere. We should mention who played our characters in this animated production;

Reggie:  Rick Mercer

Karim: Riz Ahmed

Bob: Rylan Gosling

Fay: Jennifer Aniston

Dillie the Westie: Peter Mansbridge

Anwar: Eduardo San Juan Breña 

Narrator: Mahershala Ali

The party finished at 4 a.m. and on the way home in the limo Bob receives a call from the CEO of Disney that Reggie is charting as a monstrous hit. I am glad for this. But I can digest what this means. As for immediate realities Dillie and I are exhausted and have no energy for a walk but to be put outside for a long pee and bed is all we want!

“Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog” :The Making of Disney’s “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog

The contracts have been signed. Bob as co-producer and screen writer is in Los Angeles Monday-Friday working on the animated production. Dillie the Westie and I miss him and the walks he took us on in the neighbourhood. Fay is more likely to put us out in the backyard which we enjoy but we love catching up with our circle of canine friends and leaving our pea mail to mark our territory.

But Bob is back for the week-ends very tired from the 5 hour flight from Los Angeles and the three hour time difference. But we get a guaranteed walk at the local golf course! It is late autumn and the golf course is closed so we can walk off leash. Many rescue dogs are bolters as they specialize in escaping from humans who have treated them so badly. In fact some 90% of dogs reported missing in Toronto are rescue dogs. I could be mean and say what stupid dogs they are not knowing how lucky they are to be under the care of masters and mistresses but often many of us dogs are guided by instinct and the instinct of a street dog in Egypt is to escape from humans who cause so much suffering.

Bob has written my story but wanted to go to Cairo to speak with rescue societies and animal activists about the life of street dogs in Cairo. He spent some two weeks there learning how close his fictional portrayal of some of my life was accurate. He was quite accurate they say in Egypt but his time there allowed him to fine tune the screenplay. When he returned I could smell the stink of Cairo on him and this terrified me. My mind has been scarred by my time there but I know my story is about the story of many street dogs in Cairo and Alexandria. My story must be told!

Bob told Fay about what he thought were the nightly firecrackers and cheering in Cairo. In a shaky voice he explained that these were not firecrackers but rather soldiers shooting street dogs and those barbaric Egyptians celebrating the death of each animal. I would like to say I hate these barbaric Egyptians but Bob reminds me I survived and came to Canada because of a small group of Egyptians that care about dogs like the policeman that brought me to the animal hospital after the Rottenwhiler took a chunk out of my leg.  And the dedicated animal doctors that rely on medicine sent to them from Canada so dogs can be cured of diseases.

Bob tells Fay he is always debating with the other screenplay writers and producers who want to make the story line sweet and childlike but the story is not so sweet. Bob has had to compromise so as not to frighten the audience many who will be children but he swears this will not be a “Lady and the Tramp” syrupy feature but one with a cutting edge that will educate its viewers of the rough life street dogs face in Egypt. After 8 weeks of being in Los Angeles and two weeks in Cairo Bob has taken it as far as it can go and agrees to have his story transformed into a Disney animated film. This is so good as he is at home with us although he is back a few days a week to supervise the animation and ensure the script is as agreed upon by the producers and writers. And he is also involved with the musical score to sure it sets the right tone and the voice overs are true to the tone oof the film.

In 16 weeks the final version is ready for distribution which means me Bob, Fay and Dillie the Westie are going on a promotional tours. Bob is clearly so very tired but wants to ensure the success of the film not for the money but to accurately portray my life in Cairo and the life of street dogs that live there and to show the dedication of kind souls in Egypt and Canada that work to rescue me and my bothers and sisters. All of us in this household are going to Los Angeles for the film premiere.

Bargain Basement Bordeaux

The Bordeaux region of France produces some of the most expensive wines in the world but there are many “value priced” Bordeaux’s. And you just may find a gem. So let’s try a couple.

The first is a $12.95 Château Les Sablonnets. In colour it is a very dark red almost purple. On the nose very lush notes of blackberry, black cherry with a twist of black licorice. The lushness indicates a high percentage of Merlot. The intensity and color is courtesy of the Malbec.  There is also some Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc.

On the palate there is no doubt this is full bodied wine. The tannins are light and dusty. There are notes of cassis, blackberry, black cherry with a bit of chalkiness and dark cholate. As our weather here in Southern Ontario starts chilling down a bit you might appreciate the full-bodied nature of the wine. It has a short finish. I would pair with Turkish Swiss Chard or roast lamb. Here is a recipe for the Swiss Chard https://www.saveur.com/skillet-braised-swiss-chard-recipe/. Only the freshest local Swiss Chard will do.

Is this a gem. I think not but it is highly drinkable. Drink before the end of 2021.

(Chateau Les Sablonnets 2019, AOP Bordeaux, JMVB, Sauvterre-de-Guyene, France, $12.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 18780, 750 mL, 14%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 89/100).

We move to a $15.95 2017 Chateau de Ribebon hoping for a Bordeaux low priced miracle. It is garnet in colour and a bit earthy on the nose. Loads of blueberry, black cherry in a slightly smoky framework. On the palate light tannins with an uplift of smoke, ripe cherry and dark chocolate. Short finish. I think this might improve with a couple of years in the bottle. I think the blueberry is a result of Cabernet Sauvignon and the smoke and chocolate a result of Cabernet Franc in the blend which unfortunately is not described on the label. With a bit of research, I see in addition to the Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet Franc there is some Merlot but I can’t pick much of it out.

How can I sum this wine up? At moments it is intriguing and quirky. It is of good quality and well made but will it take you to the moon? I think not. But it will be a worthy match for most grilled meats and spicy poultry including beer can chicken which s politically incorrect it seems. Give me a break. James Suckling gives it a 90 which historically indicates I would give it an 88. However give me a moment while I score it. It gets an 89. I seem to be caught on the treadmill of 89-point wines. Is the result of globalization of production methods and travelling winemakers?

(Château de Ribebon 2017, AC Bordeaux Supérieur, Alain Aubert Propietaire, Saint Mange de Castillon, France, $15.95, 750 mL, 13.5%, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 12281, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 89/100).

“The Influencer”: Desperation, Greed, Loneliness and Radicalism Feeds off Capitalism

Meet Abbie Rose. She is a top “social influencer” meaning a person who uses their personality or good looks to be a travelling salesperson for any Tom Dick and Harry entity wanting to peddle their goods on social media. They are a slippery group focusing on imagery for the short attention span of those social media lapper uppers. Sell, sell and sell and the more hits, likes and views your personage earns or often buys the higher income your image pulls in.

Yes I have seen them all over Europe some with a make-up crew and photographers to be that perfect image holding a purse or wearing a dress of a sponsor. The more views and likes the more goods the social influencer sells. A form of crude capitalism adapting to modern social media. Who cares about a view past the influencer into the ocean or canyon behind them as the backdrop exists to sell, sell and sell more. The influencers I have seen have a self-satisfied vacant look on their face. They rather emphasize the twit in Twitter.

And Abbie Rose (Kasia Szarek) must be one of cinema’s absolutely obnoxious characters not in a mean way but rather in a stupid, artificial, greedy and pompous way. She has escaped an irrelevant college degree that destined her to a life of serving tables and living in a crappy apartment. Instead she has clawed her way near the top of the social influencer pyramid. So one may admire her ambition but not its goals. She also knows what she wants and skillfully negotiates to get it. In this case it’s a social influencer contract with a large cosmetic company Nutrocon known to ravage the Amazonian rain forest for palm oil to be used in cosmetic products, turning a blind eye to sexual harassment in its workforce and to test its products on animals.

4 hackers working for # 1 break into Abbie’s home and force her to make a seemingly innocuous video offering a free box of Nutrocon cosmetics to the first 50 responders. The hackers are mostly a group of bumblers more social outcasts than social activists looking for a payout for their own projects.

They are successful in their devious project driving down the share price of Nutrocon making Number 1! wealthy with her huge put on the stock. Abbie obtains success when she least expects it. We also learn that she is vulnerable and perhaps not such a twit we thought she was. You might call this a satirical comedy but it slams home the vacuous consumerism and obsession with image. Let’s say the Kardashian clan won’t be laughing at this film.

Director Meghan Weinstein is an L.A. based Canadian filmmaker who grew up in Vancouver and San Francisco. Her films capture the absurd and often hilarious complexities of human connection, while featuring carefully casted ensembles and eye-catching imagery. She loves collaborating with actors to create quirky, out of the box characters.

The film is distributed by Breaking Glass Pictures and released on September 14th on DVD and VOD platforms including iTunes/Apple TV, Amazon, Google Play, Vudu and through local cable and satellite producers.

Catch the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eChy46c_Lf8

“Saving Paradise” Paternalistic Capitalism vs. Ruthless Venture Capitalists

“Saving Paradise” is a simplistic attempt to explain the raping of the United States by venture capitalists and offer encouragement that the hedge fund and investment bankers can be defeated by American values and spirit. Fantasy?

Having lived through the insatiable corporate greed of an American bank that proudly celebrated to its analysts thousands of job losses to India, China, Canada, Dublin, Poland and Germany the rape of America is no fiction. Strangely it was at one point off shoring was heralded as risk reduction and encouraged by American regulators. Economic theory and humanism at odds!

So the film “Saving Paradise” is a bit of fantasy retaliation to reality. A pencil factory in Paradise Pennsylvania is facing bankruptcy after the death of its owner. It has a huge debt to a local bank and a very short time to repay. Don Peterson is a bit of a fuddly duddy paternalistic capitalist that actually cares about his workers. Does Jeff Bezos or Richard Branson show any of the same decency or is their flirtation with space and their ego more important.

Don Peterson dies and he is highly leveraged to the tune of $10,000,000 quite a sum for a pencil manufacturer in small-town Paradise Pennsylvania.

Michael is the son of the deceased owner and he works for a ruthless investment banker that buys out struggling American companies, pumps them with cash, cleans up their balance sheet and then sells them off to the highest bidder most often China.

Michael returns home to Paradise to take control of the pencil factory and he manages to rally the employees to his side despite he is seen as a New York pariah. He has the help of his teenage love Charlie who is CFO of the pencil factory.

The film suffers initially from a stiff stereotyping of investment bankers and a pencil factory small town workforce to the point they are comical to one who has worked in the world of finance but to those who have not perhaps it is a necessary act of simplicity.

Then get ready for a battle royale with the man with a ruthless streak becoming humanized by his motley crew of workers and his rekindled romance for Charlie.

Michael has a big skeleton in his closet which sems to have little to do with the plot.

Well the little guy wins this battle and that little guy has usually been wiped out by the greed of venture capitalist and the American consumer who wants the cheap Walmart goods perhaps without realizing how this has hammered domestic manufacturing.

Don Peterson and his caring ways end up saving Peterson Pencil.

This is no great movie but a lesson on the lecherous and ignorant destruction of domestic manufacturing in the United States for those who do not already know the lesson. But is the lesson simply too late?

Although the acting is less than stellar William Moseley as Michael and Johanna Braddy as Charlie keep the film from being a meltdown.

The 102-minute film was directed by Jay Silverman and opened in select theatres on September 3 and on On Demand. You can see the trailer here https://vert-ent.app.box.com/s/82em15an80rcuta0iw5ycvjtxeevnyxu/file/841675175072

“Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog”: How is Reggie Going to Be Famous?

Bob has been on the phone and on Zoom meetings with Pilkington his agent. It is a no brainer. I am going to be featured in a Disney animated film and the money is unbelievable. Bob knows the financial details and all I know is he keeps saying that we are rich. The best part is that I don’t have to be on set and away from Dillie the Westie, Fay and Bob and I get to stay in Toronto. But there are promotional stops Disney had negotiated with us. Of course the more we promote the wider the distribution and the more money we make. Bob had instructed Pilkington to arrange a “Reggie cut” of the revenue. .05% of net revenues from the film will be directed towards two Egyptian canine rescue organizations. Bob thinks of everything!

One of our stops on the promotional tour will be in Cairo which makes me very frightened yet excited. I have a nightmare I will be lost in Cairo and end up as a street dog. But I will be with Bob who will protect me and hold me tight. Bob and Pilkington negotiated a torrid 14-day blitz for PR purposes with our own private jet. London, Paris, Berlin, Athens, Cairo, Saudi Arabia, United States (Chicago, New York, Boston and Los Angeles) and Stockholm to start. .Dillie the Westie, Fay and two bodyguards will be with me!

I am thankful some of the money from the animated film will go to help street dogs rescued in Cairo. Bob has added two million dollars to establish “Reggie’s Rescue Society” in Cairo and another two million dollars to establish a “Reggie’s Rescue Society” in Toronto. Bob has also ensured on the promotional tour we stay in hotels near parks so Dillie and I can go on walks.

I have no desire to be famous other than imagining when they speak about “Lady and the Tramp” they will also mention “Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog”. And money will go to help dogs tossed out onto the street in Cairo.

Disney has lined up voices for the animated film about me. My voice will be that of Canadian Rick Mercer. Fay’s voice will be Jennifer Aniston. Bob’s voice will be that of Spanish Shakespearean actor Eduardo San Juan Breña and Dillie’s voice will be that of Ewan McGregor for the right Scottish ancestry of Dillie the brave and proud Scottish West Highland Terrier.

Despite all this excitement Bob and Fay keep a low profile. The Canadian media hasn’t much of an idea about this Disney film so we lead a quiet life like nothing has changed. I appreciate the simple things in life that are unheard of for street dogs in Cairo…..love, clean water and that tasty chicken kibble. But the adventure that awaits us fascinates me but I hear Anwar in my dreams saying be careful my little one, Does he know something from the world beyond?

“23 Walks”: British Geezer Romance on Film!

“23 Walks” is a rare refreshing romantic film. You see so many romance films focus on the young as if only the young can fall in love. You might say there is streak of ageism in the romantic genre so much so that a younger viewer of “23 Walks” may flatly say we aren’t interested in watching a romance film with 70-year-old geezers. Well, if that’s the case good-bye.

“23 Walks” presents us with a slow and rocky romance between 70’s types Dave and Fern. They meet by chance walking their dogs. Dave has a German Shepherd Tillie and Fern a Yorkshire Terrier called Henry. They completely open up to each other after the 23rd walk but there is much occurring between the 23 walks. Lots of cups of tea and chats.

There is sadness, jealousy, pain, loneliness, suffering, withholding of facts, forgiveness, compassion and secrets. So to say this is a hollow formalistic romance movie is giving is short shrift. Could it be that falling in love is far more complicated in your 70’s than it is in your twenties? It seems so and the road to love is paved with landmines that occasionally explode and cause hurt.

In this case can Fern and Dave take it all the way once the secrets are out of the way? Although the road is rocky I suppose you can guess the ending which is not without requiring some intellectual effort on the part of the viewer.

Dave Johns as Dave and Alison Steadman as Fern give honest and steady performances., Tillie played by Sheila and Henry played by Dennis add a bit of both comedy and tragedy and are the reasons for Dave and Fern meeting and falling in love.

Very enchanting views of some of London’s parks.

Dog owners and lovers get your Kleenex ready!

The film starts off in such a way as to lead to a conclusion of a simplistic plot but its 142 minutes gives it time to develop into a more nuanced film. The film was written and directed by Paul Morrison and Vertical Entertainment will release it in select theatres and On Demand on September 17,2021.

You can see the trailer here https://vert-ent.app.box.com/s/kdlptd95mwwipyfzwxp459ldb5ho3rk6

“Mutantism on the March” : Chapter 96 : Aliens Fighting Nationalism in Quebec

So it came to pass that Frizzy, Squid and Montenez, all aliens, were deep in the nationalistic swindle Jiber (aka Hecklevesque) was propagating. They all convened at a new restaurant called Eno’s Place owned by yet another alien Eno Ergot. Squid was the first to arrive hungrily eyeing a plate of Kalamata olives. Once Montenez and Frizzy arrived a cold pitcher of Martinis followed.

Frizzy was well versed in the exploits of Squid and asked Squid about the strategy he had used to drive the Americans out of Colombia. All Zortixians found it difficult to fathom the barbarity of humankind. However there was still shit on the Zortixian’s history books with the antics of Jiber Sr. and his blackbooters that had exiled Montenez’s father and murdered thousands. Frizzy made it quite clear the Zortixians were aware of Squid’s struggle in Quebec and supported him. Too bad it was not a case of simply taking out Hecklevesque as the backlash would be far worse than Hecklevesque tripping over his political shoes.

Eno arrived after securing supplies for the restaurant and introduced himself as a former evil Zorollian who had originally planned to meet up with Jiber and conquer the galaxy but had reformed after realizing just how decent humankind could be. He was surprised to learn that Frizzy was the Minister of the Interior of Zortixia and rightfully could have zapped him on the spot for his failed attack on the Zortixian missile base years ago. He shocked them further by telling them he was the nephew of Redbeard and his attack on Zortixia was under the orders of Redbeard. Frizzy replied, “That the only reason you weren’t blasted to pieces as you entered the Zortixian atmosphere was that the air controllers were on strike. Your uncle’s attack orders were an attempt to wipe you out! There was no missile base that you were attacking but rather a mental hospital with aliens from different planets masquerading as doctors. In reality they were in the process of converting mental patients throughout Zortixia into an attacking zombie army. You foiled their devious plot. You are a hero in this story.”

Ergot was dumbfounded at the pure evil of his uncle and his crew, all staff at the restaurant, were shaken about how they had been set-up to die!  Ergot then dropped a bombshell telling the group by telling them he knew where and who Jiber was. He had assumed the identity of Rene Hecklevesque.

Squid was not overly surprised having a queasy and suspicious feeling about this Hecklevesque as both the styles of Jiber and Hecklevesque were similar especially the use of subtle deception. Frizzy grabbed his attaché case and pulled out a top-secret file on Jiber and compared a picture of Jiber to that of Hecklevesque. There was no doubt that Hecklevesque and the Jiber were the same! The fox was here in Montreal and ready for the taking! He could return home the conquering hero and become premayor and the leader of Zortixia! Squid and Montenez were more cautious and abducting Hecklevesque and returning him to Zortixia could only cause a nationalistic furor. The situation was very delicate. The last thing needed was to create a martyr and possible bloodshed. It was best to defeat him on earth and then return him to Zortixia when he was broken and out of the spotlight. It was essential no news of this reach Zortixia. This was not the time to settle scores.

“Reggie The Egyptian Rescue Dog” : Reggie Has a Screen Test With ABC and Bob Meets With Big House Publishers

Bob, Fay and I head to New York City to meet with ABC studio executives and Bob will check in with Big House Publishers about publishing his “Reggie” book. ABC has sent us first class tickets and I sit in a seat between Fay and Bob instead of under the seat as Bob is using his canine service papers that Disney provided him with so I don’t have to sit under the seat!  I like those Disney people! ABC has also put us up in the Ritz Carlton Central Park South which is great because I can go for walks in Central Park and as we have the top suite in the hotel we can always head down to the Club Room where they let dogs come in. There are flowers, dog treats, all sorts of delicious snacks in our room. We unpack and Bob and Fay who have been in New York many times before tell me get ready for a very special walk in Central Park. We meet many dogs and their owners and some old ladies have their equally old dogs in baby strollers which I find very funny. We walk up to Strawberry Fields which I remember seeing in a BBC documentary about a famous musician John Lennon. This is a huge park and there is even a lake with ducks in it but I like the golf course near us in the winter and early spring more as I can go off leash. Dillie the Westie would have loved it here. We have already seen four Westies on our walk. Dillie is with Bob and Fay’s son Drew in Toronto.

On the way home Fay runs into a lady called Kelly and her husband Marc in Central Park with their little dog and we wag our tails and get along with each other. Kelley has a television show on some channel called “Kelly and Ryan” that Fay watches. Fay explains that we are in discussions with Disney, ABC and Big House Publishers about me. Kelly asks Fay if I would like to be on her show they are producing and gives her a card with her number on it and wants to know how things go with my movie career!

We get home to the hotel and the doorman gives us a big smile and knows my name and says hello! At the Ritz Carlton they call guests ladies and gentlemen of the Ritz but for dogs they have no such title so the doorman calls me “cool pooch”.

In the room there is a chilled bottle of that wine that goes pop when you open the bottle like on New Year’s Eve. A dinner of chopped roasted chicken, carrots and rice is awaiting me with Ioli spring water from Greece.

For Bob and Fay’s dinner they are meeting Bob’s sister Babs who lives 20 minutes away and we are going to a small French restaurant called Les Deux Amis and since they have a patio I can sit outside with them. So many people pass by and what a strange smell the city has! There are so many taxis and the whole city seems to be eating out at a restaurant! So much activity! I am not a downtown dog so this is very new to me. Bob has a Bucky Burger with fries and I get a little of each and it is yummy. Babs has an omelette and Fay the Onion Soup. I have a little nap under the table until it is time to go. We take a taxi back to the hotel and a special bed with the Ritz Carlton logo is ready for me. There is a note for me from the manager welcoming me Reginald as a distinguished guest and saying if here is anything I want just phone him. Bob has a good chuckle after he reads the note and says we should go to bed as we all have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.

Breakfast is brought in at 9 a.m. by men with white gloves. Bob has asked for simple chicken kibble for me and it is called “free range and organic” and it is very delicious but a bit rich. On the taxi ride to ABC I admit I farted a few times not being used to this different food. My tummy is a bit off today.

Like the Disney people the ABC “team” is in a boardroom and Fay and I am escorted for my screentest which is a piece of cake! When I return to the boardroom the ABC executives explain what they have in mind. They already know about my screentest results and they are ready to explain “the deal” as they call it.

The television series will be called “Reggie Rules”. There are two gay men in their mid thirties who live in New York and have been partying for years. They feel their life is empty until Reggie approaches them at a restaurant patio and jumps up on one of their laps and wins their heart. The men are called Tony and Akbar who is of Egyptian descent. 14 episodes are planned and I will be the silent star who will be cute, rambunctious yet very lovable. I change the outlook on life for Tony and Akbar. The money is in the range of $100,000 an episode but there is potential that it will be picked up outside of the United States and the money will increase. ABC says it will put a summary of the deal together and send it to our hotel. Bob notes that in the series some comic relief is provided by the man we met in Hollywood called Larry David who is very suspicious of everything Tony and Akbar do. Bob tells the executives he would like Dillie the Westie to be in the series as David’s dog.  Subject to a screen test they agree.

And then it happened as the runs hit me like a volcano and I make a horrible and stinking mess on a very expensive oriental carpet! Bob and Fay turn bright red but as one executive says “We’ve seen it all before!” A cleaning crew arrives and all is gone! Bob thanks the executives and off we go. But I let another fiery mess fly in the elevator and we hustle out of the building. Bob says with a laugh that I have left a good impression. We see a well-dressed man and an angry one at that trying to wipe my little mistake off his alligator shoes. We pick up our pace.

Fay takes me to Central Park for a walk and to settle my stomach while Bob heads off to Big House Publishers and tells us the results. They love Bob’s book but want him to create a series of very simplistic children’s book and then one geared for adults. He will be paid for every book sold and if he reaches certain best sellers lists there will be a cash bonus. There are possible cartoon and movie spinoffs Bob will be paid for.

When we return to the Ritz Carlton Fay and Bob talk about the options. There are pros and cons to each but they decide give it a few days and we should all wait to hear what Bob’s agent Pilkington has to say.

Bob and Fay order room service with a 1982 Chateau Latour as after all Bob says ABC is paying for it! I am back to my regular chicken kibble and my tummy is back to normal. We pack up for our plane ride home tomorrow. I have had a very exciting time but I miss my own bed, Dillie the Westie and a very green Toronto. It will be good to be back in my territory!