“Andrij The Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog” : Chapter 9: Thanks for the Applause but We Need More

We have breakfast huddled in a conference room. President Biden and our President Zelensky are talking about further American aid. President Zelensky sees me on the screen and asks President Biden to keep close eyes on me. He thinks Putin is becoming unhinged after my attack on the Russian hockey player. He heard that Putin threw his borscht soup at the wall after seeing my attack. He also has reports Putin is going to raise the bounty on my head to 20 million Euros. My killing of the Brute and attack on the Washington Capital hockey player has infuriated him to the extent that some say he is becoming obsessed with taking me down. Psychological reaction of this sort may hamper his concentration which has been altering due to the Great Russian Stall in the Ukraine. Could I be responsible for pushing him over the edge? The good side is that his coterie of enablers may say he is a danger to Mother Russia and they may take him out. The negative side is that Putin may lose it and be even more aggressive with using nuclear and chemical weapons. President Zelensky says I am in grave danger. President Biden responds by saying he has ordered high level security for me. Experts trained in sniper warfare are keeping a close eye out for my safety.

I go with President Biden to the US Congress to hear President Zelensky give his speech. Of course, it is passioned and inspiring and he receives a 20-minute standing ovation. I can’t resist throwing in a few barks as the cameras are snapping and the film rolling. Ukraine watches me. Putin watches me and he must be screaming in rage. Of course, the applause is rousing but my view is that America sits by while Ukraine is levelled. The US will be drawn into war with Russia and it would have been strategically wise to hit that huge convoy and deal a crippling blow to the puff headed Russians and their poor logistics. We need more and soon. We need NATO forces in the air and on the ground. Not to do so is putting heads in the sand. And the sand is running to an end in the hourglass of Ukraine’s existence. But what do I know? I am a dog.

“Travels to a Different Time” : 18August1973: Heidelberg/Köln, Germany: Woken up by Shrieking Elephants and Screaming Tropical Birds: Overnight Stay at The Hospital Hoping to Avoid Amputation

I was woken up today by shrieking elephants and squawking birds as the hostel is by the zoo! I phoned Heidi in Köln and Michael answered letting me know that Heidi would be working at the hospital all week-end. Got picked up by an American soldier with Iron Butterfly’s “In- a- Gadda -da -Vida” blaring. I quickly discovered I was on the right autobahn but going in wrong direction. Picked by a German student and we went to his girlfriend’s place for a great meal. What good luck that his girlfriend was also going to Köln. He took me right to Michael and Heidi’s place. I had a hot shower and he cooked up sausages and potatoes. After our sausages and beer (Dortmunder Union) we went to the German school for diplomats where I used their washing machines to do the laundry. Had a great tour of Köln and we picked up Heidi at the hospital and stopped to pick up Yugoslav take-out hopefully with no greasy goulash. It was strange seeing her again but after a few minutes we were yakking away like it was yesterday. I was to stay the night in the hospital in a spare bed. Hopefully when I woke up nothing would be amputated.

Passage of the Day: “Sickening: How Big Pharma Broke American Health Care and How We Can Repair It”

“Obviously, there is no single source of the dysfunction in our health-care system, but the most powerful force driving this toxic combination of poor health care and high costs is Big Pharma’s influence on American medical care. And the reason the pharmaceutical industry has been able to achieve this” tail wags dog” position is that over the past 40 year’s, public funding for clinical research has declined allowing the drug companies to step in and fill the gap. This has led to increased commercial influence over much of the information that doctors rely on to determine optimal treatment for their patients. The pharmaceutical companies now control most of the medical research agenda, and their primary goal is not to improve American’s health but to maximise their own profits, which they do masterfully.”

“Sickening How Big Pharma Broke American  Health Care and How We Can Repair It” John Abramson, MD, MSc, Mariner Books, 2022

“Andrij the Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog ” : Chapter 8: Waiting for President Zelensky’s Address to the United States Congress: Do I Embarrass Myself Biting a Russian Hockey Player?

I am feeling alone and frightened being in a strange country in a line of limousines surrounded by heavily armed men on my way to the White House. The only strength I have is that our President has asked me to do this for our country. Big and brave words but I am but a dog that days ago was cuddled and belly rubbed by Danilo and Daryna the children killed by Russian missile strikes. This is too big for me. But there are many counting on me. This is a very big pressure; Can I handle it?

We arrive at the White House and under heavy security I am whisked inside. Joe and Jill Biden greet me. The American President is an old man. Is he as wise as our President Zelensky? There are no media people here and our meeting is warm. There is chopped chicken and rice for me in a bowl with a very big bowl of American water. I scoff it down and look in the eyes of Joe Biden. I trust him. I read humans better than humans can. We sit by the fireplace and I hop onto Joe’s lap. He strokes my head and says how brave I have been and my attack on “The Brute” has swayed politicians more than any speech could have done. I am so sleepy and full of that American chicken and my long airplane trip I glaze over and they carry me into a small bed in the Oval Office. I don’t remember any of this.

I wake up in the morning and have chicken kibble for breakfast. What is this kibble? I am used to table scraps but this kibble isn’t bad.

Jill Biden takes me out for a walk on the White House lawn and I do my business. I spend most of the day by President Biden’s side with hundreds of cameras snapping pictures. I am a hero of the Ukraine and the American media loves it. American Intel has reports of Tsar Putin throwing his Borscht soup against the wall in the Kremlin screaming “Death to Andrij”.

Joe says that Zelensky’s address to Congress will be tomorrow but that I have been invited to a National Hockey League game between the Washington Capitals and the Toronto Maple Leafs. I will be a guest of some women called Nancy Pelosi. Jim Prosciutto called it as I am a very busy dog.

We go with a heavy security detail to the National Hockey League game.  I visit the locker rooms of the Toronto Maple Leaf’s and then go to the Washington Capitals dressing room. I smell a Russian and growl and lunge at his private parts happy to rip them out but he has a steel cup protecting this family jewels, This is caught on media and the player’s reaction of, “Fucking Ukrainian Shit” is caught and broadcasted world wide. The Washington Capital fans boo him and throw their caps and beer cans on the ice. He will never play in North America again.

“Travels to a Different Time” : 17August1973: Heidelberg, Germany: The German Militaristic Character? Getting Thrown Out of a Bar

Up early to avoid the rush of the bright eyed and bushy tailed Europe on $5 and $ 10 a Day crowd. I get bad vibrations from this place. They seem obsessed with order and precision at this youth hostel. I feel like I am in military barracks and somewhat like a caged animal. But there are no campgrounds here and hotels are over my budget. I did call Overseas National Airways in Frankfurt and there is a flight departing Köln on August 21st but they do not have a final headcount and as a non-revenue passenger if there are no seats I am out of luck. After the call I took a bus and tram into town and went record shopping which is cool here as you can choose a record and go into a booth and listen to it to decide if you would like to buy it. I walked up to the Heidelberg Castle and it was an amazing sight with a wonderful view. After the castle a Wimpy cheeseburger and a beer. I bought some crap for dinner and had a long walk home stopping for a beer on the way. I arrived at the “compound” hot and sweaty. I talked with Yanks who are swarmed all over this place. Good luck seeing any swarm in Bulgaria or Yugoslavia.  One told me how brave I was going into the Iron Curtain. I felt sad for him falling prey to American anti-Communist propaganda. 8 of us decided to go out and fill up on German beer. Somehow we got separated and I ended up with two Canuks and a Asian American. The Asian American guy and I went berserk over a joke and couldn’t stop laughing. We were gasping for breath and tears were rolling down our eyes and we were asked to leave by the owner an older German man. These authoritarian types seem to appreciate zombie and obedient behaviour. We headed home by 11 and all the lights were turned off so we had difficulty finding our room. Get to bed early dissolute youth is the message but 11 p.m.? This German older generation are such tight asses. The Germans my age are super friendly. Is the older generation sore about losing the war?

“Andrij The Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog” :Chapter 7: Some Advice from CNN Newscaster Jim Prosciutto: I Want to Shit on the Lawn of the Russian Embassy in Washington

Chapter 7: Some Advice from CNN Newscaster Jim Prosciutto: I Want to Shit on the Lawn of the Russian Embassy in Washington

I am on the CNN corporate jet with veteran newscaster Jim Prosciutto as we head from Poland to Washington. He is asleep as we take off from Warszawa and I am on the seat next to him with my head on his lap. I too fall asleep. Over the Atlantic he wakes up and we have dinner served by a flight attendant. Polish sausages and fried potatoes for both of us. Jim has a couple of shots of Polish vodka. His hands are shaking and his voice is quivering. He does not look well. His eyes are red and moist. He has had 8 shots of vodka after the two initial shots and that is too much even for a Ukrainian except at a wedding.

Jim looks at me and says that he has seen and heard too much. Innocent civilians killed and maternity hospitals shelled by “savage bastards”. He tells me he feels like a Ukrainian and he is hurting. He can’t sleep. He has incessant images of death and destruction. Worse of all he has a sense of rage and fury at the impotence of politics about Americans sitting by as “the Ukrainians have the shit pounded out of them”. An hour of F-18’s striking the vulnerable “Russian convoy” would bring Putin to his knees and end it all.

He looks at me and tells me I have no idea of the important mission I have. I will be mobbed by Americans and Canadians. I will be exhausted by a brutal schedule. He says be prepared for an intensive non-violent combat. He adds you are a brave warrior and your mission is so terribly important that you a dog may be the saviour of Ukraine. He is frightening me. I am a simple dog. What is expected of me?

We land at St. Miguel Airport in the Azores for a refueling and Jim takes me for a walk along the tarmac where I do my business taking time to pee on the wheels of a grounded Russian Aeroflot plane. Later I see that pee captured on international news. I also poop and Jim picks it up and throws it on the doors of the plane to smear Mother Russia. Putin is in a fury and raises the bounty on my head from 5 to 10 million USD.

We land in Washington and I say good-bye to Jim. God bless. The US Secret Service picks me up and we are in a heavily secured convoy to the White House. My cute little white fluffy head is worth a pile of money! We pass the Russian Embassy. I would love to take a shit on their lawn. Even more I’d like to shit all over Putin’s assassinated body. That will have to wait. Do you still think I am a cute white fluffball?

RKS Wine: Last Bottle Standing

While at a Liquor Control Board of Ontario (LCBO) outlet I noticed a lonely bottle of Domaine Lafage 2019 on the shelf which was blessed by a knowledgeable LCBO Vintages consultant who had not tried the 2019 vintage but had tried previous vintages to his delight. I am always willing to take advice from a friendly Vintage’s consultant which I did and gave this bottle of Grenache a home.

What say the wine for aromatics? Raspberry, ripe plump strawberries, cherry and Santa Rosa plum. The fruits are very well integrated and no particular fruit is vying for prominence. On the palate the old Grenache wines have calmed down the richness of Grenache so it is not a burly heavy hitter but it is not lighthearted either. It is mildly tannic with a long but gentle finish. A deep undercurrent of almond infused pomegranate and cactus pear lend some uniqueness to the wine. Would suit tofu and cremini mushrooms marinated in soy sauce, fish sauce, sesame seed oil, rice wine vinegar, Piri Piri sauce and garlic gently fried in a wok and served over organic Japanese buckwheat noodles. Drink by the end of 2023.

(Domaine Lafage Cuvée Nicolas Vieilles Vignes de Grenache Côtes Catalanes 2019, IGT, Maison Lafage Perpignan, France, $19.95, LCBO # 354191, 750 mL, 15%, Robert K. Stephen A Little Birdie Told Me So Rating 89/100).

“Andrij the Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog” : Chapter 6: I Want to Stay and Fight the Russians: Zelensky Has Different Ideas! I Am on Team Ukraine with Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog and Dylan the Westie

I might have been a bit rude growling at our President but I did it in a gentle way and perceptive as the man is he understood completely my preference to stay here and fight. I can carry messages, sniff out bombs and Russians and their mercenaries and spies. President Zelensky tells me Ukraine could use me as a brave warrior dog but I can be of bigger value to the nation by going to Canada. How can this be? I don’t understand. President Zelensky explained that I would go on tour in North America to raise support and weapons for Ukraine in a way a human could never do. I see his point. It is no time to be selfish.

I can’t wait to meet Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog
I will be on Team Ukraine with Dylan The Westie

My ears perked up and my jaw opened where he said I would be going and working with. Holy mackeral and Putin’s dirty ass I am going to be staying with Reggie the Egyptian Rescue Dog and Dylan the Westie the Brave Warrior. Reggie is the most famous dog in the world. I have seen both his Disney films, read about his relationship with Joe and Jill Biden, his connections with the Pope and Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and his popularity in the Muslim world. He has been in a movie with Nicole Kidman! Now I will be with him and Dylan on Team Ukraine! The President tells me I will be instrumental in saving abandoned Ukrainian dogs. I will be leaving tomorrow on a corporate jet owned by the CNN network. The famous journalist Tim Prosciutto will be taking me to Washington. There is going to be a photo-op with Joe Biden and the Ukrainian ambassador. I am then going with Joe to a special session of Congress to hear President Zelensky address Congress. I sense I have a huge job ahead of me. I can save thousands of lives of both dogs and humans in the Ukraine. And when my job is done President Zelensky has promised me combat duty.

“Travels to a Different Time”: 16August1973: Sinsheim and Heidelberg, Germany: Lots of Beer and Food at Sinsheim

Up at 9 to bread, honey and coffee for my German friends and lemonade for me. Three hours on the road and we were in Sinsheim where most of them lived. We had a big meal of sausage and potatoes with beer. Germans drink gallons of it! We went to the family brewery for a tour. Most towns in Germany have their own brewery. We then went to Clement’s grandmother’s who insisted upon feeding us another big meal. After that feast off with Clement in the VW to stay with his friends in Heidelberg but they were not in so he drove me to the youth hostel full of Yanks with their Eurail passes and Europe on $5 and $10 a Day. Had a hot shower, read and dozed of. I get along very well with Germans my age.

“Andrij The Orphaned Ukrainian Rescue Dog”: Chapter 5: Rallying the Troops and Big Plans for Me That I May Not Like: Am I Going to Canada?

In a few days I am up and walking with a bit of a limp. Time seems to be running short. Our troops are bashing the Russians with Stinger missiles and we have shot down their MIGS with a late delivery of Patriot missiles. Why oh why hasn’t NATO pounded that stupid long and vulnerable convoy of Russian troops. They could have destroyed a huge part of the Russian army in twenty minutes. Putin takes the West as a fool and I must agree as the world watches the Russian genocide.

I am getting healthy and ready to serve my homeland. I have killed a Russian now I want to kill more and more. My blood is boiling out of control.

President Zelensky and I are good friends. He is under a crushing amount of stress. He takes me out for several walks a day and secretly smokes a cigar. One day he says to me to sit. I listen to him. He tells me what an inspiration I am to Ukrainian soldiers and civilians. He says that he wants to send me to the front as an inspiration for our brave fighting troops. I bark a big YES and nuzzle our President.

The next day I am wearing a flak jacket with big Ukrainian flags on both sides and with bodyguards we head to several key defensive positions. There are tired men and women with weapons. But there are too many old men and teenagers. They are willing to fight to the death and so I am I. We have death of our loved ones to give us strength. The Russian troops have vodka and looted treasures. Corrupt scum.

As I walk amongst our brave defenders there are cheers for the “bravest of all”. Western media is in on this and what I can do to rally the West for our cause I do. Dogs around the world are acting strangely barking like maniacs to join this canine jihad.

We are holding our own. The Russians thought they would march in and conquer us. Watch out you arrogant and corrupt bastards as we are going to march to Moscow and string up Putin by his balls for the world to watch. Just watch us.

So I head back to Kiev and get a bath washing the mud and fleas off my body. President Zelensky comes to me and asks, yes he asks and does not order, if I would like to go to Canada and help our defence. Before he can continue I growl and shake my head as here is where I belong. He shoos away his aides and comes up to my face and he holds it with tears in his eyes and says I am the bravest Ukrainian dog and that all of Ukraine loves me and how much the Russians hate and fear me but there are bigger things I can do in Canada. What does he have in mind? He rushes off and tells me I will learn tomorrow.