Poetry Corner: “the great roman farce and associates limited”

the great roman farce and associates limited

Deceived innocents
kiss his robes
grovel about this king of conservative uncertainty
fools in believing something can be gained
by bowing to the Holy Doctrine of the oppressed
meekness, humility and servility
inventions praised by the powerful with a laugh
and the Chairman of the Vatican Bank
urges the masses backward
like trainers whipping animals in the circus ring
to run endlessly
rewarded by brief respites in drool
laughed at the owners who consider spectators profitable fools
with losers being roused by hits of temporal doctrine
soothing words
inspiring music
that promise shining hope
when earthly existence ends
where it is useless

Robert K. Stephen

Poetry Corner: “Piggies”

Piggies

Look at all the little piggies
guzzling out of the trough
left piggies
centre piggies
right piggies
but all the same
meme chose
echoes of belches
similar but of varying intensity
what the hell
they all wallow in the same slop
a feces paradise
at election time many enter the slaughterhouse
the remainder devise menus for the apathetic
innocent

Robert K. Stephen

Poetry Corner: “Calling Reality Too much television syndrome”

Calling reality Too much television syndrome

Where is she
the one who will capture my soul
now
struggling
thrashing
trembling
battling the treacherous currents
of turbid conformity

will the magic of this single woman
give freedom and understanding
from the senseless blindfolded hordes
overly anxious to meet me with crucifixion
the nails of hate, jealously and competition
will she be the healer
whet the bitterness
out of her womb
for my rebirth
simply purified by her existence
OR shattered by her conspirator role
will I plummet into despair
where no hand
will ever reach
mine

Robert K. Stephen

Poetry Corner: “Child of Thalidomide”

She was a forcefully deformed little girl
thanks to Health Canada approval of the drug
the father could not bear the torture anymore so
he walked out the door
leaving the sobbing mother on the floor

She grew strong and tall with a beautiful face
and a razor sharp intellect
except for that slight misfortune
All she wanted was to be loved by a man
love was sought to be found
the fantasies of an ideal man
caused social workers to exclaim “damn”
but how could they understand when most her age had found a mate
leaving her an agonized fate
the year increased
her face creased
and she doggedly searched
there was no one
goggling eyes fear and guilt in the crowds and bars
no love there

a police operation recovered her broken body
from under the bridge

All she wanted as some love
forget the sympathy
and the endless good humoured and well intentioned pity

“poor thing” said the police officer in charge
“Why did she have to do a thing like this?”

Robert K. Stephen


Poetry Corner:”calling all talented and aggressive people there’s a place for you in our organization”

Calling all talented and aggressive people there’s a place for you in our organization

the effusive smile
that greets with impressive handshakes
crushes more than the hand
polished shoes of gleaming cold death
capped fangs of the coiffed predators
button down shirts and minds
amidst the chattering of back stabbing baboons
clustered on the tree
climbing ever higher
ignoring the screams of the fallen
too terrorized of their own shameful tumble
Remember
as they say we only get one chance in life
so
kill with a smile
or you’ll end up on the cold bathroom tile
subject of hushed headlines
created by humility stricken obituary writers
with a country week end on their mind
even before the flowers have wilted

Robert K. Stephen

Poetry Corner: “Paganistic Birthday Party”

Paganistic Birthday Party

Assembled about the synthetic evergreen altar
are the little dazed children
stunned as if pondering the words of the three wise men
they murmur their pagan chants
materialistic hymns of candy, games and toys

greedy gleaming eyes of the little fry thought to be cute
wishing they could have more than they see

the evening feast
a ritualistic ceremony of orgiastic delight
bloated bellies and upset stomach
oh Christ
They’ve forgotten you and it’s not funny
it seems you are being used for the money

Hedonistic decay
displayed in such an overly degenerate way
a satanistic surrealistic day
electric shavers and racing car sets
chocolate mangers, plastic Christs and neon bulbs
festive colours
euphroristic delight

Santa Claus, the false pretender
laughs quietly
his work well done

Robert K. Stephen

Poetry Corner: “It’s mainly because of the meat ( a day at the hospital)”

It’s mainly because of the meat (a day at the hospital)

Defying fate
the numbered pieces of meat are kept tender by the singing of the dart laden
Florence Nightengales
they lie glistening
some in cellophane wrap
fresh and clean
for the bug eyed greedy fate regulators and their machines
white clad techno princes
who sound the charge armed with reams of slaughtered trees
and sticks that relentlessly scratch
knives or forks?
needles or threads
charting with sage chants of the ringmasters of pain
whip the remnants of human dignity
for the hungry audiences of resident apprentices
gawking at the wisdom of the teacher
all believing
who perhaps
one day will know the power of their
Pharisees

Robert K. Stephen

Life at Up Up and Away Investment Management International: Chapter 40 Last stop on the bus travelling the largecorp route

Chapter 40

Last stop on the bus travelling the largecorp route

I can be quite determined when I want to be. I was determined upon hearing from Dr. Wong that I was suffering from workplace stress and anxiety that I wanted to make Up Up and Away pay. In my opinion Up Up and Away had used and abused me at far below market prices.

Being a lawyer, I knew the importance of evidence in winning any sort of claim. I treated my disability from the sidelines as if an imaginary lawyer was advising me what steps I should take to ensure my potential disability claim was successful. I had taken advantage of a referral to a psychiatrist for two reasons. The first was that I thought I was under a tremendous and unbearable load of stress and was suffering from it. I needed some validation of this as not being an overreaction. I needed to be healthy again and for that a psychiatrist was indispensable. But I also needed evidence that I was suffering from a form of mental disability. With this evidence I had some form of ammunition against Up Up and Away. A psychiatrist on your side is a powerful evidentiary tool.

The immediate use of this evidence was to establish a claim for short term disability. Up Up and Away had to pay me 20 weeks of salary and continue my benefit plans. That was a tiny payback, but I wanted more. I wanted revenge. Perhaps you could say I was more emotional than rational. Given the size and power of Up Up and Away I thought I could never really win any battle against it. I started thinking a buyout might be doable. However, that possibility was unlikely once I converted into long term disability as I was being paid 70% of my salary out of the disability insurer’s pocket. As far as Up Up and Away was concerned they were no doubt happy they weren’t footing the bill and they’d be happier if I stayed on the books of Happy Insurance Company until the disability policy expired upon me reaching 65.

My only hope was to pass the MRI of my brain and the cognitive testing and then happily show up at Up Up and Away’s doorstep bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to work. I was certain this would totally take them by surprise as both Asterisk and Self were certain I would never return. They were so certain that I would never return Sally Self had gone and hired a replacement for me. Where would Up Up and Away find the funds the pay my salary? And even if the medical reports came back clean there was still that EEG showing microangiopathic disease which 15% of the population suffers from but is only marker for possible dementia and Alzheimer’s. I had let Asterix know this a couple of times and I am sure she flew to Self with the news. Any way you sliced and diced it I was a potential liability at some unknown point of the future. As I handled millions and billions of dollars in complicated transactions Up Up and Away’s paranoia played me right into their deep pockets.

It so transpired that the MRI and cognitive testing showed no significant cognitive decline. Any decline or impairment was consistent with a man of my age. According to Happy Insurance Company I was fit to return to Up Up and Away and Happy Insurance Company contacted Up Up and Away Toronto to discuss my return to work. I said to Happy I couldn’t wait to return to work. Happy Insurance Company was delighted I would soon be off their books.

Sally Self was no doubt mortified with the biggest miscalculation in her career. Possibly a game ending one. She did call me and express her “delight” I was returning but cautiously probed whether it was the best choice concerning my health. She professed her “concern” for my health. A suspiciously different attitude than Self had exhibited in the past. I was upfront with her and said if working conditions did not improve or had not improved Dr. Wong was warning of a possible trigger back into depression. I could tell in her tone of voice the last thing an increasingly stressed-out Sally Self wanted was to deal with was a mentally ill employee.

In what I could sense as a moment of desperation she tried to convince me to work part time. That would be a lot cheaper for Up Up and Away. My heart and soul were conflicted. On one side I was telling myself get out of this hell hole once and forever. The other side was press on for a full time return to work knowing there was no Legal Department budget surplus for me to be hired back but there was an unlimited downsizing budget that could be tapped into.

At the return-to-work meeting with Sally Self, myself and Happy Insurance Company Self was squirming like a toad on a fishhook. We set a staggered a return-to-work schedule. Within 24 hours of the back to work meeting I received a call from Up Up and Away’s Human Resources Department to “further discuss” my return to work. Self was not at that meeting. Apparently, she had been terminated right after our return-to-work meeting. Self made the biggest miscalculation of her selfish little life.

In any case the head of the Human Resources Department placed a termination agreement in front of me. In short it was two years of severance with all benefits untouched and a nominal amount of pre-set and calculated bonus payments. There was also a release against any human rights claims I was to make. I am certain Up Up and Away was looking to avoid any claims for termination based on mental illness. After a couple of back and forths with our respective lawyers the deal was done.

Looking back on all this as I have related to you I will say be very cautious about working with largecorp. It often requires you to sacrifice your life and that of your family. It cares nothing for you. The only thing largecorp craves is profit and each employee is a cost and deterrent to profit. The goal of largecorp is to replace all its employees and replace them with super artificial intelligence.

After my less than blessed life with largecorp and battle with depression I can say as a sequel I am a better and wiser person. I paid a hell of a price. I often look up in the office towers of Toronto and I hear stories of the remaining colleagues I have at Up Up and Away and just bless the escape I engineered. The depression, stress and anxiety have now disappeared along with a host of scarring largecorp memories.

To you that remain in the office towers of largecorp I dedicate this book and may largecorp have mercy on your soul. Its end is near.

We should conclude with my thoughts on how the current COVID-19 plague will affect largecorp.

Life at Up Up and Away Investment Management International: Chapter 39 Getting ready for a largecorp exit

Chapter 39

Getting ready for a largecorp exit

Generally the only people at largecorp that get to determine their exit date are members of the Senior Management Team. The 99% are either terminated by largecorp or due to ill health can’t make that magic retirement age of 65.

I am telling you are having a pipe dream thinking you’ll make it to 65 and retire with your cronies taking you out for a dinner paid for by largecorp. So, if you are hit in a downsizing or retire at 65 what in the hell are you going to do with your life. You’ll be much less capable at travelling or even engaging in some of your favourite physical activities. Arthritis, back problems and a whole host of aggravating conditions may start creeping out of the woodwork.

The first obvious secret I will tell you is to enjoy life while still working at largecorp. How many people on their deathbed say they wished they could have spent more hours working at largecorp?

Spend time with your children, be home for dinner and on the weekends, enjoy family activities and travel the globe and leave your mobile at home. Don’t cheat yourself and your family of the time you and they need with you.

The second secret I learnt was to try and reinvent yourself while slaving away at largecorp. In my case I resurrected my teen journalistic experiences and then got myself certified as a wine specialist and began a weekly wine column with an up-and-coming internet “newspaper” of which my former client Tommy Bland was editor of. I then rather self taught myself so that I could review hotels, restaurants, museum exhibits and even write on health. This unpaid hobby let me to mentally escape largecorp for some period and kept my mind active when on long term disability. The last thing you want to do is to cease challenging your brain.

Even when on long term disability with largecorp I managed to obtain certification in mindfulness from the University of Vermont. I desperately needed to keep challenging my brain lest I turn into a zombie.

I find it sad when people leaving the workplace have absolutely nothing to do because all they know is work because they foolishly devoted their life to largecorp that did not give a damn about bridging its employees towards retirement. There are many out there that arrive at regrets about largecorp when it is too late. Perhaps if they had only read this book when they started at largecorp.

Get thinking what you want to do upon retirement before you leave largecorp or when they dispose of you before your misguided 65. And don’t wait until the last minute.

I’m your anti-largecorp man so pay some attention when I say largecorp only regards you about as important as a piece for an automobile engine. Don’t be a sucker to the Senior Management Team that stuffs its pockets with loot from the shareholder cookie jar. They have their Human Resources Department thinking that largecorp cares for you.

Hopefully you have more intelligence than a sardine and avoid getting dredged up in a web of deceit, greed, manipulation and an SMT that portrays itself as a talented team but between you and me do not know their asshole for their elbow. Get working on your future before the future is here.

Well there is one thing I feel grateful to largecorp for and that is the sum total of my experiences with it that have enabled me to happily write this book and share my experiences with you. I hope very passionately that my suffering and narrative make you see the dangers of working within largecorp unless of course you are on the SMT in which case life is grand.

Life at Up Up and away Investment Management International: Chapter 38 Finally getting back to normal!

Chapter 38

Finally getting back to normal!

It took me about a year to start feeling better. I suppose it was a combination of anti-depressants, psychiatric and psychotherapy sessions, mindfulness training and light therapy. But as I had not felt a healthy normal for so many years I had lost touch with what normal was. I think the best way of describing my “recovery” was that of feeling better and that meant starting to enjoy life more instead of being numbed out by it.

The various physicians I encountered unanimously counselled me not to return to work unless it had been shored up with additional employees. As far as I figured it work was a major trigger for more depression. Initially the idea of returning terrified me but as time rolled on and as I began to feel better the terror dissipated to be replaced by common sense logic that my workplace was toxic to my mental state. My colleagues never anticipated I would ever return and my “replacement” was hired. I say “replacement” as if your colleagues believe you are not returning and they hire someone who sits in your office then that new hire is a replacement!

Again, I conferred with my friends W and Kennedy Jones about what it means “getting back to normal” after a depressive episode.

Both agreed they had been depressed for so long or subjected to the triggers that sprouted depression they can’t accurately grasp what normal was. Both wondered if undergoing depression and escaping its clutches made them new men better equipped to face the mental challenges thrown their way.

As W said, “My normal for such a long time of period was a series of events and triggers that worsened into a depressive state. It is not a normal I really wanted to return to. In fact, it descended into a sort of nightmare. I like to think of normal as a futuristic concept. It is the new me made wiser by what sent me down the rabbit hole of depression. My recovery was infused with optimism about the future and a keen sense of awareness of the shit thrown my way that triggered the depression. I don’t wish depression on anyone, but it made me a stronger and more compassionate individual and very aware of my world.”

I think W’s comments show that some suffering can make a person better!

And Jones said, “I really agree with what W has said on this. If you are on the railroad tracks of life you must be able to jump aside when that potential depressive train is on its way. If you have been through this once you become much smarter when that train is coming at you on the tracks. What I must be thankful about is the recommendation made to me about getting involved in mindfulness sessions. The simple task of remaining still and feeling your body and breath was extremely difficult if not painful during my depression. After several months I began to feel as whole and suddenly began smiling during meditation which was at the point my psychiatrist was saying the worst is over!”

Jones and W agreed with me when I said when depressed your goal should be to be better again or feel well. “Normal” is perhaps a bit misguided .It could be that normal is a toxic situation and one you want to avoid