OPERATION 51st STATE: “The Necessity of Establishing a United States Governmental Structure to Manage Annexations”

The Senior Working Group (SWG) suggests a United States governmental structure be created to manage various annexations as they arise. The SWG realizes annexation is a complex process for which the purchase of Alaska and Louisiana by the United States offer insufficient precedents.

The SWG suggests the management structure be called The Bureau of Annexation Management with the following divisions be established:

  • Canada Division
  • Greenland Division
  • Gaza Division
  • El Salvador Division
  • Panama Division
  • Ukraine Division

Disputes shall be adjudicated by an administrative tribunal The Annexation Bureau Tribunal Commission its powers, composition and mandate to be set by Presidential Executive Order.

“OPERATION 51st STATE: “Managing Canadian Opposition to Canada’s Annexation by the United States of America: Give Them Bread and Circus: Sports”

Canadians love their hockey. True narcotics for the Canadian masses despite the fact Americans are a more powerful hockey nation and American National Hockey League teams far outnumber Canadian teams. If only they would recognize the greatness of American beer and drink more of it.

The SWG recommends all international sports teams operating as a Canadian national team be disbanded.

Canadians have a hunger for more Major League Baseball Teams and National Basketball Association teams. The Senior Working Group (SWG) recommends Halifax, Winnipeg, Quebec City, Calgary and Vancouver be granted membership into MLB baseball and NBA basketball with all franchise fees and operating expenses paid for a period of five years through revenue generated by the American Ukrainian Rare Earth Consortium and Gaza Resorts Unlimited LLC.

The SWG recommends the renaming of the Stanley Cup to the Reagan Cup.

The SWG recommends the disbanding of all Canadian Olympic teams.

The SWG recommends the disbanding of the Canadian Football League.

The SWG recommends all Canadian sports stadiums and arenas be renamed after American historical figures.

OPERATION 51st STATE: “Managing Canadian Opposition to Canada’s Annexation by the United States of America: Centres of Influence: Politicos and Top Level Federal and Provincial Bureaucrats”

The Senior Working Group (SWG) concludes political and state bureaucratic centres of influence of the Canadian population must be neutralized/managed.

The Governor of Canada (Canada to be replaced by its state name) will have established a state bureaucracy to manage the new state and implemented a new political structure. This state engineering will result in the permanent retirement of all Canadian provincial (including municipal) and political parties. The SWG recommends all members of legislative assemblies should be transported to secluded locations in the United States for “education” where Pol Pot and Mao Tse Tung methods of re-education will be rejected in favour of a gentler approach of repetition and persuasion with the goal being absolute familiarity and acceptance of the Golden Age of America doctrine.

All top-level governmental bureaucrats and ministers will be transferred to United States military facilities at the Naval Base in Guantanamo Bay for more rigorous processing. Oaths of loyalty to the President of the United States and its constitution will be administered. Refusal to sign the oath will lead to criminal prosecution by executive order of the President bypassing the cumbersome and untrustworthy judicial system.

Eager Golden Age of America enthusiasts revealed in the management process should be encouraged to actively support the new statehood and be rewarded accordingly with insertion into positions of influence in the new political structure of our 51st state.

Hard core resistors shall, by Presidential executive order, be relocated to penal institutions in El Salvador and Albania to serve sentences as determined by Presidential executive order.

OPERATION 51st STATE: Who Should the First Governor of the 51st State Be?

The SWG will make recommendations as to the political structure and governance of the 51st state further on in this top-secret document.

The first Governor shall be chosen by Executive Order of the President as after all this annexation is a national emergency as is all the business of the United States government these days.

The Governor should in all circumstances be Canadian to avoid any sentiment our 51st state feels as if it is being “taken over”.

The President trusts his dear fund raiser friend and golfing buddy Wayne Gretzky “The Great One” as he is known to hockey loving Canadians. Mr. Gretzky lives in the United States promoting the Gretzky brand. The future of his family and their success rests in the United States and not Canada. The SWG notes however Canadians have reacted negatively to Mr. Gretzky’s cozy relationship with the President and a statue of him has been vandalized including a big smear with human feces. His loyalty to the President is not questioned but his Canadian popularity is dubious. It is quite clear the success of his brand is in the United States and not in Canada.

The SWG recommends a Canadian, as they were once known, be appointed by the President as the first Governor of the 51st state. Malleability and loyalty to the United States are essential.

OPERATION 51st STATE: What Should the 51st State be Named? What Should the State Flag Be?

The Senior Working Group (SWG) recommends Canada not be the name of our 51st state. Our research has revealed Canada has not always been the name of our 51st state. At one point its name was Lower Canada and Upper Canada.

“Canada” must be eradicated in the name of our 51st state. Our recommendation is to have a contest for American elementary school children to decide the new name. A name decided by darling innocents may follow the saying that you catch more bees with honey. How can the citizens of our new state object to our youth renaming their state!

The American flag will have another star added to it to denote the admission of our new state into the Union. The SWG rejected the addition of a maple leaf instead of a star as citizens of our new state must recognize their loss of independence.

The SWG recommends the state flag of our new state be a moose holding a Tim Horton’s coffee cup in one hand and a hockey stick in the other.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film: “Self Driver”: Riveting, Stylistic, Trippy and Mystical

D (Nathanael Chadwick) is a Toronto taxi driver pressed to the edge of an economic cliff driving a taxi ruled by his Vrmr app picking up a variety of passengers in all manner of human and mental disarray. His taxi is littered with food wrappers and garbage. His in-car diet is an express pass to a cardiac ward admission. His vehicle is on its last legs with its interior and engine in critical condition.

Like much of the world he has been “downsized” from an office job and forced to drive and live an Uberish existence. A new father and a persistent landlord pressuring him to pay overdue rent he picks up two party girls one of whom pukes in his cab. In desperation he phones Nic (Adam Goldhammer) a passenger who offered him a job in a new start up that pays extremely well. All he must do is follow the instructions of a Tonomo app to pick up passengers and other things as he quickly learns. Failure to follow the instructions leads to deductions from his earnings. Tonomo takes over his life on his first night.

The passengers become increasingly strange going to strange destinations, leaving behind guns and bags the app instructs him to dump in the garbage. He is instructed to smash a passenger in the face repeatedly receiving a bonus from the app with each blow.

The last pick up of a man and lady friend descends into bizarreness if not chilling evil not solely attributable to the “pick me up” cube left by a passenger he ingests that sends him on a bizarre trip that has his air vent with the googly eyes speaking to him.

D is perhaps like Travis Bickel that we know from “Taxi Driver” or Ernest Borgnine the taxi driver in “Escape From New York” as they are all victims of circumstances.

The film enveloped in a brilliant soundtrack by Antonio Naranjo is riveting, stylistic, trippy and mystical and that is sufficient to propel the film into a weird new Canadian classic despite lacking a complex plot who cares as enjoy not being a fly on the wall but the heavy dose of surrealism and the seamy underbelly of endless and perpetual road construction in Toronto.

Watch the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FIi4zmmgoA

Written and directed by Michael Pierro. It will be available on DVD 8May2025.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film Rating 95/100.

RKS Throwback CANADIAN Documentary: “Bombay Calling”: Up Close and Personal with Those You’d Prefer to Hang Up On

The 2006 National Film Board of Canada documentary, “Bombay Calling” takes you up close and personal with callers operating in a Mumbai call centre you really would prefer not to converse with and perhaps have hung up on in the past.

Indian call centres selling legitimate products and services proliferated for some time in the early 2000’s selling services and products to populations in the developed world. I recall receiving many Indian call centre calls attempting to close a sale often with heavily accented salespeople on horrifically poor telephone lines trying to sell me Bell Canada services. Even the names of the callers were westernized. It was far cheaper to outsource to India than to use domestic labour forces.

Call display coupled with widespread aversion to answering calls from a number you don’t recognize, the call centre selling practice has morphed into scam calls threatening your ruin if you don’t fork over dough. A popular scam call in Canada is purportedly from The Canada Revenue Agency threatening dire consequences unless you immediately pay amounts owing for taxes.

Call centres also currently exist for product and services support and in addition to India on the line it could be the Philippines, El Salvador or Mexico.

The Mumbai call centre featured in the documentary was targeting British Telecom customers attempting to woo them to switch to a competitor. Highly educated university graduates lured by generous salaries work in organized teams with managers and quality control staff to sell. Culture training and accent training are part of the curriculum. Team building exercises, prizes, competitions amongst employees and threats are used to “motivate”. We watch employees at the call centre saying the call centre rocks but after work for drinks it is the call centre sucks!

Instead of that voice on the phone one watches the actual people behind the voices, what their background is, their aspirations and fears and a glimpse at the modernization of India. A humanizing experience.

Perhaps in 2006, when the documentary was filmed, call centres were selling legitimate products and services and one might classify then as annoying but of late they are viewed with distrust as peddlers of scams a far more menacing product line than telecommunications products.

This 70-minute documentary is by Ben Addelman and Sami Mallal.

RKS Throwback CANADIAN Documentary Rating 89/100.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: Leaning Post Cuvée Winona

There are glitzy and glorious wineries in Niagara, Ontario looking more akin to castles and grand estates than a down-home winery where wine is the only show in town and no $36 truffle pizza is available. Leaning Post is one of those down-home wineries where great wine is about the only game going on.

We try a Cuvée Winona Red which is a blend of Merlot (61%) and Cabernet Franc (39%). Rested in French oak barrels for 18 months. Unfiltered. 620 cases produced.

Aroma: Bright red cherry, raspberry, blackberry, red currant and milk chocolate.

Palate: Grippy tannins. Firm and cloistered fruit requiring decanting and preferably another year in the bottle to relax. Black currant, blackberry with a thin wisp of raspberry jam. Short austere finish.

Personality: I am from a non pretentious winery where the effort is expended on the wine as opposed to the show. I am simply good and solid not flashy and quickly forgettable.

Food Match:  Baked cod in a rich tomato sauce with roast potatoes and a Greek Salad on the side.

Cellarbility: Will really click in 2026 but don’t go beyond that point.

Price: $29 CDN.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 90/100. Rick VanSickle 91.

(Cuvée Winona 2020, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Leaning Post Wines, Stoney Creek, 750 mL, 14%).

“OPERATION 51st STATE: Managing Canadian Opposition to Canada’s Annexation by the United States of America: Lotteries, Advertising Campaigns and Promotion of Citizenship Awards”

The Senior Working Group (SWG) discussed how best to manage Canadian’s opposition to the annexation of Canada as the 51st state of the United States of America. The SWG has many recommendations which we will lay out in separate sections of this document.

It is the view of the SWG Canadian “gun legislation” has effectively neutered the ability of Canadian resistance groups to mount even a slight degree of harassment of American security forces. Unlike the Constitution of the United States Canadians, thank goodness, do not have the right to bear arms.

It is the view of the SWG the Canadian Armed Forces has been so beset by mismanagement, poor staffing and shortages, sexual harassment issues, rampant ineffective and divisive global inclusion and equity squabbles leaving its morale in tatters it poses no threat to U.S. security forces. The SWG does recommend creating a national guard force for military personnel wishing to be part of the United States military.

An advertising campaign is recommended to purloin the benefits of annexation. The SWG will not enumerate the benefits that can be marketed to Canadians leaving that task to the Bureau of Canadian Integration.

The SWG recommends a series of lotteries be held in the annexed state “The Golden Age Lottery” with substantial cash prizes and with higher odds of winning to incite a buying frenzy. To economically benefit Red States boycotted by Canadians such as Florida prizes will include all paid for vacations in such states. Prizes should include products boycotted by Canadians including Kentucky bourbon for example.

The tool of “Citizenship Awards” should be implemented to emphasize the attributes of good citizens of the 51st state with a particular focus on loyalty to the United States and its constitution. The attributes of these awards can be further developed by the Department of Homeland Security and Paranoia but the SWG stresses the importance of incorporating Citizenship Awards into the school curriculum. Inculcation at a tender age is essential and will reap future benefits.

Operation 51st State: Top Secret Documents Expose United States Plans to Annex Canada: A Staged Busjacking to Start the Ball Rolling: A Breaking Spoof Exclusive

Spoof reporter Costas Studialos took his family for an  “all you can stuff your gullet ” luncheon buffet at an IHOP on Indian Canyon Road in Palm Springs and noticed in the bunk seat where the family settled down to a mound of flapjacks and shrimp grits a document with apple crisp toppings encrusted on it but scraping off the oatmeal topping the envelope had a white label affixed to it  “White House Top Secret Document: Operation 51st State”.

Spoof will share its contents with you over the next few days. Its introduction read as follows.

“Strategies for seizing control of the Canadian government”

The Senior Working Group (SWG) discussed the best method for seizing control of or neutralizing the Canadian government.

The SWG recognizes Canadian poll results indicate only 8% of Canadians would consider becoming the 51st state of the United States hence a voluntary surrender of power by the Canadian government is impossible.

A military takeover by American forces would be guaranteed due to the minute size of the Canadian military and a lily livered culture frowning on ownership of guns by citizens but international condemnation can be expected if there was no reason for such a takeover. The SWG stresses an effective annexation must appear justified beyond the rambling and perceived antagonistic comments of the President of The United States.

Like the recent Hamas abduction and murder of Israeli citizens known as the October 7th incident the best offence is to focus on a reason to launch an offensive to justify such domestically and internationally.

The SWG recommends sending a busload of “elderly tourists” from Minnesota, all unemployed actors, to Toronto to watch a Minnesota Twins Major League Baseball series against the Toronto Blue Jays. While the charter bus carrying “the Minnesota fans” stops at an EnRoute rest stop on the 401 Highway outside of Guelph, Ontario a group of Canadian patriots/terrorists will hold the fans hostage in a busjacking demanding a ransom be paid to release the busloads of innocents. The terrorists, of course will not be Canadians as we know their pacifist nature but released from El Salvador prisons Tren de Aragua Venezuelan terrorists masquerading as Canadians. The terrorists shall be paid a large untraceable cash sum and granted an amnesty upon the completion of the operation.

The Canadian government recognizing a national crisis will in an attempt to restore order, particularly after several Minnesotans have been executed by the kidnappers, promulgate the War Measures Act suspending civil liberties and mass arrests of potential enemies of the 51st state will occur orchestrated by friendly Freedom Convoy Patriots in the Canadian military and local police forces that have been waiting for years to seize control of the Canadian government. As Canadian civil unrest increases in intensity and to save American lives, particularly those of the kidnapped Minnesota Twins fans, American forces will “arrive” upon invitation of the Freedom Convoy Patriots to rescue Canada from chaos. With martial law in effect the Freedom Convoy Patriots will establish a protective military junta to gradually transfer power to a newly appointed Governor of Canada.