27th Thessaloniki International Documentary Festival: “Death Plan for a Dog and a Man”: The Oracle of Death in Athens Speaks

The 27th Thessaloniki International Documentary Festival runs until 16March2025.

Slice and dice your interpretation of the Greek documentary “Death Plan for a Dog and a Man” and you just may have nailed down the last nail of the coffin. For lack of a more sophisticated descriptor this is a “fun” film but one with deep meaning.

Artsy yes. Obscure and irrelevant no.

An elderly man and his dog Ermis look death proximate. In the haunting backdrop of “High COVID” Athens the man sits on a chair with a weakened Ermis at his side outside their hovel and watch the world go by. There is not much of a world as there are almost no people on the street except for several homeless people sleeping.

Is the elderly man an oracle of death who at one point in the hills overlooking Athens speaks to its citizens about how powerful he is as the strongest made for all times warning those below no mater how you hide evil will find you? His view is that how much a human tries to differentiate himself from animals humans are animals hibernating in fear of COVID’s possible death grip.

I derive my interpretation of the elderly man as an oracle of death by the fact early on he repeatedly speaks with Yiorgos a neighbourhood friend that has died. Who can speak with the dead other than an oracle of death? Another plausible interpretation is the elderly man is in purgatory with Ermis waiting for his final trip across the Acheron. What I will not accept is that this is simply a documentary about COVID. Rather COVID is the background where the oracle of death is omnipresent stating that all have a death plan and you follow the steps starting with a bored soul that notifies your cells it is time they prepare for the farewell.

Death is but a part of life and we all have our death journey with optimism, fantasy, the desire to become rich, the willingness to accept salvation from it all then death.

When death is near the haunting soundtrack is accentuated by the sound of buzzing flies reminiscent of the bloody pig head on a stick in “Lord of the Flies”.

This 66-minute Greek documentary, or short if you prefer, is directed by Christos Karakepelis. Its layered complexity demands your attention and challenges you to make an interpretation of its meaning.

RKS 2025 Documentary Rating 96/100.

Violence Escalates in Porto and the Douro Region: Portuguese Fast Food Chain Windows Riddled with Bullets in Porto: Wine Tanker Overturned and Grapes Destroyed in Paraquat Aerial Attack: Spoof News Services: Lisbon, Portugal: 7March2025

Tensions are escalating throughout Portugal overnight.

 Seven fast food restaurants, “Filipe’s Francesinhas Shack” had their windows shot up early this morning. No injuries were reported. Portuguese ballistics experts identified bullets and shells of American, Russian and North Korean manufacture.

A wine tanker in the town of Regua in the Douro region fully juiced up with Touriga Nacional was riddled with bullets once again identified as American, North Korean and Russian.

Fields of grapes mostly field blend at Quinta Senora de la Gringo on the outskirts of Lamego in the Douro region were sprayed overnight with the herbicide Paraquat. Two Algerian workers have been blinded and are in hospital suffering severe respiratory failure. Portuguese air traffic control reports two helicopters suspected of dousing the grapes were tracked to a small airfield in Spain just over the Portuguese border. 

No group or country has claimed responsibility for the violence on property and grapes.

Kristal Numbhead, Secretary of the United States Homeland Paranoia Department, recently labelled the 5March2025 vandalism of McDonalds and Burger King Restaurants in Porto orchestrated by The Francesinhas Liberation Front (FLF) and Confraria Proud Boys (CPB) as acts of terrorism and designated these two groups as terrorist organizations. Numbhead emphasized threats to The Golden Age of America will not be tolerated. Numbhead stated, “The leader of these two terrorist groups is citizen of Macau. Our New Republican Guard knows his location. We believe his code name is “The Penniless Pensioner”. We terminated Bin Laden and we will terminate this thug.”

Satellite photos may have captured the leader behind FLF and CPB vandalism in Porto pictured here singing Cuban revolutionary songs

Sao Mamedes, the prime minister of Portugal issued the following statement, “Ballistic reports identified the bullets as from the Unholy Alliance of the United States, Russia and North Korea. Our view as a unified government is these vile incursions and acts are in relation to the recent Trade Protection Pact (TPP) agreed to between Canada, Portugal, Panama, Greenland and Mexico. The TPP is a protective mechanism against American aggression manifested by the executive orders of Donald Trump. Our Assembly of the Republic today has censured the governments of North Korea, the United States and Russia and I have summoned their ambassadors to Portugal to express my displeasure. Any further attempts to violate Portuguese sovereignty will not be tolerated.”

Spoof has received unconfirmed reports of American cruise ship passengers most easily identifiable by large stomachs and gaudy clothing roaming the streets of Porto and Lisbon with their ice cream cones profusely dripping on sidewalks as well as empty packets of Ozempic scattered on the roadways have been pelted with Portuguese roast almonds and taunted with shouts of “Go back to your floating hotels and stuff your gullets at the midnight chocolate buffet!”.

RKS 2025 PORTUGUESE Wine: Pedra Cancela Vinha Da Fidalga from the Dão

From Carregal do Sal in the Dão region. The grapes were destemmed. Aged 8 months in French Allier oak barrels and 10 months in the cellar after bottling. At 1 gram of residual sugar a dry wine! The soil is granitic, sandy, slightly acidic and poor in nutrients.

A blend of Touriga Nacional and the omnipresent red grape of the Dão, Alfrochiero

Aroma: Dense and lush bouquet splashing out blueberry, blackberry, violets and smoked meat.

Palate: Obscure tannins. Plush and lush like it couldn’t hurt a fly. Blueberry, cassis and cherry pie on the long pulsating finish.

Personality: I am an excellent example of a top class Dão wine. I am tired of playing second fiddle to the red wines of the Douro. I am not saying I am superior to those wines but I am different and it could be the Alfrocheiro that makes me that way. You will have to struggle to find a Douro wine as silky as me. In terms of texture you might want to compare me with an oaked Washington State Merlot.

Food Match: Red meats, roasts and washed rind cheeses.

Cellarbility: At its peak now but enjoy throughout the remainder of 2025.

Price: $ 28 CDN.

RKS 2025 Wine Rating: 94/100. Roger Voss 93.

(Pedra Cancela 2018, Vinha da Fidalgo, DOC Dão, Lusovini, Portugal, 750 mL, 13%).

Statement by Mable Jolly Canadian Minister of Foreign Affairs: Canada, Portugal, Mexico, Panama and Greenland: Trade Protection Pact (TPP): Spoof News Services: Gatineau, Quebec: 6March2025

“The Government of Canada is pleased to announce the imminent execution of the Trade Protection Pact (TPP) between Canada, Portugal, Mexico, Panama and Greenland.

Canada and Mexico are acting in self defence to illegal tariffs imposed upon them by sham executive orders of President of the United States, Donald Trump or as we affectionately refer to him here in Canada as “Donald”. These Donald executive orders are in contravention of free trade agreements executed between The United States, Canada and Mexico.

Threats of annexation or reclamation have been levied by the United States against Canada and Greenland by reason of the United States securing control their natural resources. Panama has been threatened with the seizure of its Panama Canal by the United States.

Portugal’s wine has been barred from entry into the United States by a fabricated claim it violates health standards of the United States being contaminated by toenail fungus. This amounts to a severe and direct insult to Portugal.

Further details about the TPP can be accessed on the Government of Canada website at wws.igloopeoplenation.com but I provide you here with some of its key terms;

 Canadian Oil/Petroleum Products

Canada has agreed to provide tariff free petroleum to Portugal to be transported from Saint John, New Brunswick by way of specialized ISO Tank equipped tankers. Four such tankers will be built by shipyards in Collingwood, Ontario the cost being borne by the Canadian government.

Refining capacities at the Irving Oil Refinery in St. John, New Brunswick will be expanded to increase daily output of 320,000 barrels to 1,000,000 barrels. The cost of the expansion of existing facilities will be borne equally by the Governments of Canada and the provinces of Alberta and New Brunswick. All oil currently being shipped to the Northeastern United States by the Irving Oil Refinery will cease within one month after the signing of the TPP and diverted for shipments to Portugal.

All petroleum products shipped to Portugal must be for consumption in Portugal.

An Alberta to New Brunswick oil pipeline will be constructed such construction to start immediately and be funded by the Government of Canada.

Industrial Goods and Minerals

All industrial goods and minerals shall flow tariff free between TPP signatories.

Portuguese and Canadian Wine

Returning tankers from Portugal to Canada shall transport bottled (not bulk) Portuguese wine, including Port, back to Saint John.

Portugal has agreed to the establishment of Canadian only wine shops in Coimbra, Lisbon, Porto, Albufeira and Regua to be operated by Canadian entrepreneurs.

Produce, Pescatarian Products and Foodstuffs

All produce and foodstuffs, provided they meet standards agreed to by the provisions of the TPP, can flow tariff free between TPP signatories.

Notably this should benefit Greenland’s most important export fish and crustacean products and revitalize Portugal’s sardine exports

Tourism and Culture

Tourism and culture between the signatories shall be encouraged.

Accommodations in the Portuguese network of pousadas shall be offered to citizens of TPP signatories at half the list price.

All tourist visas will be eliminated for travel between TPP signatories’ citizens.

National air carriers shall not pay any landing fees at TPP signatories airports.

Sports

The Lisbon Larks professional hockey team shall be admitted as a team in the newly formed Canadian Hockey League. The Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers, Montreal Canadians, Winnipeg Jets and Vancouver Canucks were expelled from the National Hockey League by executive order of President Trump on 5March2025 and consequently have formed the Canadian Hockey League.

The Toronto Tigers soccer team shall be admitted into Portugal’s Liga 2 soccer league.

Restaurants

Tim Hortons will be permitted to establish 26 locations in Portugal and conversely the Portuguese chicken chain Frango Obrigado shall be permitted to open the same number of establishments in Canada.

Portugal, Canada, Panama and Mexico shall immediately declare Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald’s outlets operating in their countries as a national health hazard and impose a tariff of 50% on the value of all food going into the gullets of their customers.

Charitable donations To Fentanyl Care Centres in the United States

Due to the fentanyl scourge affecting the United States and its total inability to deal with the societal issues creating and augmenting the problem and its historically irrefutable failure to stop the flow of illegal drugs into it TPP signatories shall make charitable donations to fentanyl care organizations in the United States as they see fit. Supply can never be controlled where there is demand. Fentanyl is not an excuse for economic destruction particularly when it is obvious Canada leaks a miniscule amount if that drug into the United States.

Administration Offices

A jointly staffed central administration office shall be established at Pico Island in the Portuguese Azores.

This is a great moment in history for Canada, Mexico, Panama, Greenland and Portugal. United we stand. United we will not fail.

Massive Free Trade Deal To Be Signed Between Canada, Greenland, Portugal, Mexico and Panama “Tariff Protection Pact (TPP)”: Spoof News Services: Lagos, Portugal: 6March2025

Spoof News Services has learnt Portugal, Greenland, Canada, Panama and Mexico are in the process of executing a massive free trade deal with a goal of escaping economic and physical annexation of these countries as states into the United States of America.

Specifics are unknown but Spoof contacts reveal the deal centres on Canadian oil, Portuguese and Canadian Wines, Mexican and Panamanian produce, mutual tourism and lots of fish. A joint office of trade administration will be established on Pico Island in the Portuguese Azores.

Special envoy orchestrating the wine aspect of TPP is RKS Wine a multinational consulting firm involved in wine distribution and wine tourism. A representative of RKS Wine declined extensive comment other than saying Okanagan Wine Producers will be holding a TPP celebratory tailgate party at Meyer Family Vineyards in Okanagan Falls, British Columbia as soon as it is warm enough to do so.

Further details will be forthcoming. Portuguese governmental representatives are expected to make an announcement soon.

The Canadian Province of Prince Edward Island Removes all U.S. Alcohol from the Shelves

On March 4, 2025 Hon. Rob Lantz, Premier of Prince Edward Island and the Cabinet Committee on Trade Relations, announced the Government of Prince Edward Island’s Tariff Response Plan, outlining the province’s strategy to support businesses impacted by newly implemented U.S. tariffs.

“As a province, we did not ask for these tariffs, but we have been preparing for this reality,” said Hon. Rob Lantz, Premier of Prince Edward Island. “Our government has assessed, planned, and advocated—and now, we are taking action to protect our industries and support Island businesses through these challenges.”

The Tariff Response Plan includes immediate and targeted measures to help businesses adapt, maintain operations, and explore new trade opportunities. The first phase of programs, launched today, will provide capital relief, export assistance, and supply chain support. All U.S. products will be removed from the Liquor Control Commission catalogue and all U.S. products will be removed from the shelves immediately.

Canadian Province of Saskatchewan to Cease Ordering United States Alcohol

The Premier of Saskatchewan Scott Moe announced today that “that the Government of Saskatchewan has directed Saskatchewan Liquor and Gaming Authority (SLGA) to stop purchasing US-produced alcohol and has directed that goods and services procured by the Government of Saskatchewan prioritize Canadian suppliers, with the goal of reducing or eliminating US procurement. Liquor retailers will no longer be able to order US-produced alcohol, however they may still choose to sell their remaining inventory. This approach defends the interests of Saskatchewan’s economy while avoiding negative impacts on Saskatchewan’s liquor retailers who have already purchased US products.”

The Canadian Province of Alberta to Refrain from Purchasing American Alcohol Products Until Further Notice

The Alberta Government stated the following today, “Alberta’s government has also directed Alberta Gaming, Liquor and Cannabis to suspend the purchase of U.S. alcohol and video lottery terminals (VLTs) from American companies until further notice. This will ensure Alberta and Canadian brands take priority in restaurants, bars and on retail shelves.”

Sales of American alcohol in Alberta in 2023-24 were $292,000,000.

Photo of Premier of Alberta Danielle Smith by Jeff McIntosh, Canadian Press

Portuguese “Terrorists” Respond to the United States Banning of Portuguese “Toenail Fungus Juice”: 5March2025: Spoof News Services: Pico Island, Portugal

Early this morning the Francesinhas Liberation Front (FLF) and the Confrairia Proud Boys (CPB) took responsibility for the vandalization of three McDonald’s and 4 Burger King restaurants in Porto and the burning of three Tesla’s parked near these establishments.

All these restaurants are part of American fast-food chains operating in Portugal.

The CPB placed piles of toenail clippings outside each restaurant while the FLF pasted huge posters of Francesinhas on windows of these fine dining establishments stating “Eat Portuguese”.

As Fidel Castro and Che Guevara and their band of revolutionaries hid in the Sierra Madre Mountains of Cuba it is thought the FLF and CPB cadres are hiding out in the Douro Highlands.

The Francesinha is a meat packed monster of a sandwich served in beer gravy that has been simmering for hours. The FLF has been upset for years about the “invasion of imperialist carnivoristic forces threatening our national sandwich”.

The CBP are Douro Port Wine enthusiasts enraged by the statement made on 4March2025 by the United States Secretary of Poor Health Kennedy Bobblehead claiming foot trodding of grapes in lagares creates toenail contaminated wine.

The Porto Constabulary is unavailable for comment and to some sources appeared to be at Francesinha bistros laughing and rather enjoying themselves with Francesinhas and litres of Sagres Beer.

Formal statements from the Portuguese government, Porto Vegetarian League and the Sardine Eatery Association of Portugal are expected shortly.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: Sue-Ann Staff Estate Winery 2018 Mountain Bell Merlot: Will This Tariff Free Merlot Lighthizer Up Your Life?

Getting sick and tired of the Trump Confusion show? And you thought Sleepy Joe was losing it? Tired of that rich overly fruity Washington State (or for that matter Washington D.C.) then think Ontario Merlot. You won’t have to think of Howard Outoflucknik when you consume it as its tariff free.

Aroma: Hints of a “tight Merlot” in that fruit is not gushing over the olfactory senses like a certain White House Press Secretary. Most American Merlot (of which we will steadfastly avoid until Trump departs or we become the 51st state) exhibit more fruit on the brain like Moron Tusk wielding a chain saw. Consider the black cherry, blueberry and cassis its friendship and full warmth not restrained by tariff threats lending a foul and bitter taste when taken seriously but this is Niagara Merlot folks good enough for Governor Trudeau to serve at his inauguration dinner where Tusk will be carving the roast beast with a gold plated chainsaw while balancing one of his 61 children on his shoulders.

Palate: Clearly a muscle Merlot disciplined and firm like the Canadian population fighting the cork taint morality of MAGA legions. Black cherry and firm tannins.

Personality: I am a wine with great integrity and backbone like a certain Canadian politician who showed it a little bit late in the game.

Food Match: A good old Canadian Pot Roast made with a good cut of beef trump roast.

Cellarbility: Perhaps keep in a cool damp cellar keeping company with thousands of imprisoned election stealers in the United States or captured Greenlander politicians.

Price: $32 CDN.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 91/100. Natalie MacLean 90.

(Sue-Ann Staff 2018 Mountain Bell Merlot, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Sue-Ann Staff Winery, St. Catharines, Ontario, 750 mL,12.5%).