The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 29: All Shook Up! The Fat Fox aka Don Lupara Backs Down

I mean how would you feel receiving a severed goat’s head via Fedex! Ginevra and I were all shook up. Ginerva requested we not talk about it until our Saturday “Discover New York Day”. She had a few calls to make and set somebody straight. And when Ginerva is mad, as I saw with her knife fight with the Puerto Ricans in Harlem, you don’t want to mess with my little plum who is transformed into a tigress!

Well Saturday came and I met Ginerva at our usual bench at the Central Park lagoon on a sweltering hot day. I stopped in at Whole Foods at Columbus Circle and picked up some organic pear juice and two carrot muffins for our breakfast prior to meeting up with her.

Lupara Cattivo enjoying his grappa and grey mullet roe

Ginerva told me a bit about her Daddy, Lupara Cattivo, with a warning that if I ever repeated to anyone what she was about to say she could not guarantee my safety. Daddy was a huge cocaine and heroin importer and “distributor” shipping in hundreds of kilos of cocaine from El Salvador and heroin from Afghanistan for distribution in the Scampia district of Naples. Daddy controlled the retail network operating like a fine-tuned machine. He had so many people working for him (267) they were referred to as the Cattivo Family and he was the don (boss) of that family. His nickname was the Fat Fox. In addition to his illegal activities he owned real estate, restaurants and a cheese factory selling to all the restaurants in Scampia and in Sorrento. Synthetic mozzarella was a big seller! Of course, in addition to restaurants in Scampia and Sorrento paying protection money to the Fat Fox they were “persuaded” to buy all their cheeses from the Fat Fox. Don Lupara was not fat but the enormous amount of money he generated made his pockets “fat”. And he required a constant flow of money to pay his “family members” and their funeral costs. Family members rarely lived a full life. Ginerva recounted the “wars” between rival families that Don Lupara survived unlike many other Naples family bosses.

Ginerva let Daddy have it between the eyes threatening never to talk to him again and should she have children that he would never see them. After all she was a grown woman and Daddy must not interfere with her life. After awhile she had Daddy whimpering on the phone like a naughty puppy she told him she and I were engaged! When did that happen? I could have blown up and walked back to Fifth Avenue and out of her life but I liked the idea. Oh those piercing green eyes set in that beautiful face had me saying yes when she asked if that was OK before slipping a ring on my finger.

There was a visit required to Naples, introduce myself and then I had to ask the Fat Fox for his daughter’s hand in marriage. God help me!

RKS 2025 Film: “Vermiglio”: Idyllic Decomposition

Pietro (Giuseppe De Domenico) a Sicilian deserter from the Italian Army assists a local fellow deserter, Attillo, to return to the latter’s mountainous home village Vermiglio.

It is 1944 and the Second World War is drawing to a close. Vermiglio appears untouched by the war with an occasional plane flying overhead being the only tangible evidence of a war. Initially there is a veneer of the simple and austere set to the beautiful topography.

Being a southern Italian, the alpine villagers nonetheless accept him due to his “rescue” of Attilo a fellow soldier and villager. Many of the villagers had family fighting in the war and most quickly understand the debilitating effect war can have on soldiers which we today call post traumatic stress disorder. The village children note how war has affected Attillo.

Cinematography beautifully captures the four seasons a viewer experiences with the film. Even though the movie starts with winter there is immediate warmth on the screen almost portrayed as a paradise.

Cesare (Tomasso Ragno) the village schoolteacher is a brusque character with a large family including a deeply religious daughter Ada (Rachele Potrich), a somewhat romantic Lucia (Martina Scrinzi) and the academic achiever Flavia (Anna Thaler).

A romance blossoms between Lucia and Pietro and a joyous springtime wedding is beautifully captured on screen with majestic mountains serving as a scenic backdrop for the wedding celebrations.

The war ends and Pietro leaves behind pregnant Lucia to return to Sicily “to let his mother know he is still alive”. Pietro had promised to write Lucia but no letters come. Pietro, gentle and kind you think and you may be correct. But as a cad times two he will never return to Vermiglio causing a bad psychological slide to a mental collapse by Lucia.

Paradise and the traditional way of life in village are altered by the development of a new postwar Italy. Cesare’s son Dino (Patrick Gardner) becomes surly and defiant with Cesare. His wife criticizes him about this coldness and record buying passion which Cesare considers as food for “his soul” but to his wife it deprives the family of food on the table. Ada is dashed with no educational advancement possible because of the family’s limited financial resources. Lucia is heartbroken and mentally crushed to the extent she sleeps with the cows in the barn and begins to stink like them. Family life has hit the skids. Paradise, as flimsy as it might have been has been destroyed. A family in decline symbolic of a nation in transition?

Throughout good and bad times there is a deep on-screen sense of naturalism and honesty. Of note are the conversations amongst the children usually when they are in their shared beds. A child’s view of circumstances subsisting with an adult view of those same circumstances adds different perspectives to “reality”.

Can we sum up and say the film is the compelling story of a family in an Italian mountain village initially cocooned in a web of dignity, pride but not without its small-town gossip, paternalism, scandal, infant mortality, poverty and sexism. Circumstances rip this façade to shreds and the veneer of the idyllic rapidly fades.  

Watch the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=701RfY55ppQ

Directed and written by Maura Delpero.

Winner of the Grand Jury Prize at the 2024 Venice Film Festival.

Opens 3January2025 in Canadian theatres.

RKS 2025 Film Rating 93/100.

RKS 2025 Film: “Young Werther”: A Canadian Reverse Romcom Classic

Werther (Douglas Booth) a prepped out overconfident and shallow young man from the ritzy Anglo Montreal suburb of Westmount arrives in Toronto with geeky germaphobe buddy Paul (Jaouhar Ben Ayed) on a family errand. Once completed Werther will journey to Europe “to write his memoirs” but being so young what memoirs could this pompous ass have other than expounding on his self importance and fantasies.

While enjoying a gelato at the coolest (of course) new gelateria in Toronto he encounters Charlotte Buff (Alison Pill) and her younger sister Sissy (Iris Apatow). Full of bluster and self adoration he believes Charlotte is the love of his life. That evening he is invited to a birthday get together for Charlotte at a hotel and they hit it off spectacularly but poor infatuated Werther is told by Charlotte she is engaged to big law firm rising star Albert (Patrick J. Adams).

Charlotte, coping with the loss of her mother, assumed motherly duties for years with scant time to enjoy her life and Werther having no duties other than self satisfaction offers Charlotte a glimpse of the exciting life she never experienced. Albert is tangled up in his law practice ignoring, or taking for granted Charlotte and cunning Werther exploits that weakness.

Romance blossoms and it is looking like a traditional uninspiring romcom until Charlotte decides to take the straight and narrow, reject Werther and focus on her relationship with Albert. Albert and Charlotte wed. Post Carlotte wedding attending a law society gala Werther admits to Albert he loves Charlotte causing her to blast Werther to pieces full of vitriol and hatred labelling him juvenile and pretentious and suggests he return to Montreal where he can stroke his ego.

But wait! Werther visits Albert and Charlotte’s country home to apologize for his ill-timed romantic pronouncement and Charlotte, a bit saddened and vodka woozy laments Albert’s indifference and holding Werther’s hand glides off to the bedroom. The romcom is in full motion.

Wait again, the traditional romcom is shattered by Albert’s shotgun.

Apologies to Werther are in order here. He is more than a self-absorbed cad. The finale bolsters the creation of a classic Canadian reverse romcom. What a stratospheric finish as the credits roll watching the Crazy Dancer gyrate to Whilemine’s “ich gehör wieder mir”. Watch her video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq07an5DH8M . What guts to go with a German hit song. Bravo!

Douglas Booth is particularly well cast for his role.

You can watch a clip of the film here https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/163JxofQd2A4tC8_4JrIN6S134c-P9NZQ

Directed by José Avelino Gilles Corbet Lourenço.

Theatrical release 10January2025.

RKS 2025 Film Rating 87/100.

RKS Literature: The Chinese as Inveterate Gamblers

“Over the centuries Chinese peasants have never had any control over the circumstances of their lives. Often acts of God, but more commonly acts of man, have completely disrupted any attempt to lead a rational and normal existence. Hard work seldom reaps its just rewards or even put sufficient rice into the family bowl to prevent them from starving. Luck is everything. The throw of the dice or the spinning of the wheel is a better bet in the peasant’s mind than a well contoured rice paddy and a reliable ox. It is for this reason that the Chinese are inveterate gamblers. It is not that they believe the odds will favour them, but that the odds against them are already insurmountable.”

Bryce Courtenay, “Brother Fish”, 2004

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 28: Goat’s Head Special Delivery from Don Lupara?

Ginevra and I had earmarked Saturdays for an exploration of New York City. So many sites to see.

My favourite was Central Park an oasis from the urban frantic New York. No matter the mood or weather we had frequent walks there. I liked the lagoon with its ducks and benches to observe the world float by. Frequently I popped into Whole Foods at Columbus Circle and pick up lunch or breakfast from their huge deli section. New Yorkers were obsessed with eating out so Whole Foods deli was for many New Yorkers a “home cooked meal”.

Ginerva’s favourite was The Met Cloisters at the tip of Manhattan. It was always quiet and although the installations were in my opinion somewhat boring the calmness and serenity was so anti-New York. I discovered something fascinating about Ginevra on one of our trips to The Cloisters. We took the bus up through Harlem to get there and the bus broke down and we were thrust out in the street awaiting a replacement bus. Four Puerto Rican hoodlums approached us making jokes about Ginerva’s ass and one of them tried to pinch it. My little plum took out a stiletto knife and slashed the buttons off the aggressor’s leather jacket. They took their knives out and in thirty seconds they were on the pavement bleeding. My little plum! My sweet little plum! She bellowed in what she later told me was in Neapolitan dialect, “Want more sons of a whore. Come and meet your end!” Those scratched up hoods ran off in terror. What a tough bird my little plum was although she was shaking like a leaf. I asked her about her knife wielding talents and she told me Daddy had taught her how to knife fight! In Naples he had said a girl is not safe with men unless she knew how to cut. My my. It was time to meet Don Lupara.

After our visit to The Cloisters we headed to a safer part of Harlem to one of our favourite restaurants “The Red Rooster” where we split a Charleston Boil and some shrimp grits. Ginerva had to calm herself down with two Tito’s Vodka martinis. She loved her martinis.

Speaking of love she insisted we return to my pad at the Dakota. She looked me in the eyes when we arrived and attacked me like a savage animal. Too many months of good behaviour she said. It was a pleasurable attack but damn Wuhan Wet Market Publishing. I am not going to soil my reputation and that of my little plum by giving any salacious details. In the morning exhausted by our “cavorting” and numbed out and a bit shy about our amorous explosion she left back to her place to finish some research.

My condo unit has been bugged!

Within 24 hours I received a special delivery package and upon opening, I could do nothing but scream and then vomit. There was a severed goat’s head and a message, “The next time you fool with Ginerva it will be your head and balls in this package.” I had the feeling it was time to talk with Daddy or get the hell out of New York and return Bombay!

How did anyone know of our romantic liaison. That man with the scar on his face with the Iroquois haircut? No. Professional debuggers from the United Mutations discovered my unit had been bugged!!!!!

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version) :Chapter 27: Getting to Know My Sweet Italian Plum: Are Matters Getting Serious? Yoko Ono and Ginerva Hit it Off

My assignment with the United Mutations in New York had concluded but I received a call from Squid asking if I was wiling to address world leaders at a United Nation’s General Assembly meeting to determine if the United Mutations should be granted observer status at the United Nations. You can imagine the preparation that this involved! So aside from getting to know Ginerva I had my hands full. I did manage to meet her after her classes at Columbia where in true fashion she’d down an espresso in three seconds and we chatted about many things except her family which she said we would discuss later “when appropriate”. Every now and then I noticed a heavily tattooed man with an Iroquois haircut and a big scar on his face watching us. It wasn’t an isolated incident. Ginerva brushed it all off saying it was just a fellow student. Hmmmmm. I managed to sneak in a few hugs and smooches which I felt Ginerva was willing to further but always that sense of reluctance on her part like she was surveying her surroundings before succumbing to our romantic antics. She just kept saying all in good time.

Who is this man with the Iroquois and why has he been watching Ginevra and me?

For an independent opinion and sanity check I invited Yoko and John Lennon to tea at my Dakota unit needing John to assess Ginerva. I didn’t require his approval but rather his assessment. So Yoko and John joined us for tea. John loved loose leaf tea that I made. He always used damn tea bags lacking confidence to make loose leaf tea! A man who had conquered the music world afraid to make loose leaf tea! But a man suffering from panic attacks perhaps has a proclivity for many fears. He was deathly afraid of eating sushi fearing someone may have substituted albacore with blowfish. Ginerva wore her vintage leopard dress which wowed Yoko who as I knew had a passion for Vintage clothing. Ginerva and Yoko were deeply engrossed in conversation ignoring John and me. After the last cucumber sandwich and last drop was drained from the samovar John and Yoko departed with Yoko inviting Ginerva (and not me) to a charitable event for the New Yorker Society of Panic Attacks. John had cornered me just before he and Yoko departed and gave Ginerva the thumbs up.

That was a relief. I had to gear up the courtship with Ginerva.

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 26: Getting to Know My Sweet Italian Plum Ginerva: Am I Playing with Molten Lava?

My romantic escapades have been brief and disastrous. Minah my 160-pound sweetheart ended up in psychiatric care and her brother Abdul murdered my mother. Reena was set ablaze by her evil mother-in-law and the Toad with her marriage obsession was enough to drive off any sensible young man. But heck better to have loved that not loved at all? No way Ginerva could have fallen into this pattern, right? Her twinkling green eyes made my negative romantic past evaporate. It was time to know Ginerva better.

Ginerva was 26, quite close to my age. She was born in Naples, Italy to her father Lupara Cattivo and mother Malvagia. Lupara was of humble background who rose to fame and fortune selling what Ginerva referred to as a “recreational product”. She was a bit evasive about what these products were so I decided not to press her. Her mother Malvagia was from a family in Northern Italy, Bolzano that “ran” tankers of smuggled wine into Germany.

Ginerva attended Sacred Heart gymnasium in Naples with the crème de la crème of Naples society. Her best friend was the daughter of the Naples Chief Prosecutor. She was a brilliant student. She never worked as “Daddy”, as she called Lupara, was overprotective. She spent her summer on the coast at Ischia where her family had a “little villa” and a few seafood restaurants. Ginerva was continually watched by two men discretely in the background which she attributed to overprotective Daddy. Daddy had many a meeting at his Naples residence with his fellow colleagues referring to him as “Don Lupara”. When Daddy went out into Naples or for that matter anywhere two cars followed his, one in front and one in back full of men with tattoos and strange haircuts.

Ginerva had been looking to escape her luxury “Naples Nest” to see the world so she accepted an offer from Columbia University in New York in their Criminology Program. She had explained to me her rather morbid focus of “Italian Mafia Execution Techniques”.

It is time to get to know Ginerva my sweet Italian Plum!

One comment Ginerva made without providing an explanation and without conviction was that our relationship would, for the time being, must be platonic. Otherwise, I might come to harm. Daddy and Malvagia had marriage in mind for my sweet Italian plum. Old fashion folk but not unlike the society I knew in Bombay. Floating in a cloud of infatuation the strange twists in her explanations remained in the clouds. For the time being Ginerva would have to remain my “brilliant friend”.

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvelous (The Final Version):Chapter 25: Finishing My Assignment with New York’s United Mutations: John Lennon’s Panic Attack and the Beautiful Ginerva!

My assignment with the United Mutations in New York was rapidly completed. Drafting the Mutants Charter of Rights was somewhat challenging but with resourcefulness and creativity the task was more time consuming than difficult. I cobbled together various human rights bills and declarations from a year long course I took at the Cote St. Luc University Law School and with my Mr. Donut contractual skills I produced a rough draft that was reviewed and commented on by Squid and his “senior management team”. Aside from a poorly drafted section on the rights of victims of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder during war and genocide it was a work of art! It sure beat negotiating contracts for donut delivery to an annual Mennonite conference!

One day John Lennon asked me if I would like to go shopping with him as he wanted a birthday gift for Yoko and he needed company as he suffered panic attacks when shopping. A friend might alleviate his anxiety he thought. So we took a couple of buses downtown to Magnolia Street for some shopping. Yes readers John Lennon loved taking buses pretending to be part of the common folk. He tried to avoid the subway as it made him claustrophobic and with the amount of people in the subway system he would be more easily recognized.

What a rough part of town Magnolia Street was in. Derelicts, young toughs with baseball bats and narcotic dealers. John had said we were in the Bowery. We found the shop he was looking for and it was a very high-end vintage clothing dealer with heavily discounted prices a reward perhaps for the brave willing to walk in this part of town. Yoko refused to buy or wear new clothing and accessories as she found it too “oppressive and exploitative”. Strange lady.

It wasn’t but 5 minutes into the fortified store that John began to shake with sweat pouring down his brow. He had selected a Chanel purse but in the midst of a panic attack he gave me the cash to purchase the purse then ran outside to wait for me.

Ginerva: Could this be the start of something big?

As I was paying for it the most beautiful young lady with those melt your soul green eyes sidled up to me and complimented my exquisite taste in selecting a rare Chanel purchase. With a twinkle in her eye and with a slight Italian accent she said to me your girlfriend is a lucky girl. I responded I was just completing the purchase for a friend and I had no girlfriend. Her face lit up and in a delightfully coy and forward manner she said I needed one! She gave me her telephone number and suggested we meet for dinner soon. My heart was fluttering. Hot diggety dog. A dusky beauty asking me out! She said her name was Ginerva. I could barely remember my name. The beauty of those green eyes could have launched a thousand ships. They were to launch me into the most incredible adventures.

PRESS RELEASE: United States Vice President Elect J.D. Vance To Be Appointed as Mayor of the Ontario City of Wa Wa

Wa Wa, Ontario, Canada: 29December2024: Spoof New Services: It was announced today that Vice President Elect of the United States of America, J.D. Vance will be appointed by the unnamed Governor of Canada State, thought to be Wayne Gretzky, as the new mayor of the Ontario city Wa Wa in early in February 2025.

Vice President Elect Vance expressed his delight with his upcoming appointment stating as Wa Wa was the site of the birthplace of Canadian statehood and the present capital of the republic of Manitoba his upcoming appointment will have an enormous historical impact. Vance stated the following upon attending a Proud Boys Reunion at an undisclosed Washington pizzeria, “It is an honour to accept this appointment to a city that powers the Canadian economy. Our presence in Wa Wa will solidify the enormous pride all Canadians share as a result of becoming the 51st state of the United States. My first act of administration of Wa Wa will be to offer an amnesty to all residents convicted of chowing down on dogs and cats. Wa Wa will be the pride of the 51st state of the United States, Canada State and it is the intention of federal and state governments that Wa Wa be the capital of Canada State. Once Canada State Governor Wayne Gretzky is sworn in as Governor of Canada State details of a grand inauguration will be announced.”

RKS 2025 Wine: Is this Chilean La Junta Carménère Stomping About in a Militaristic Fashion?

Junta is an unfortunate name for a Chilean winery considering the brutal dictatorship of General Pinochet and his junta buddies in 1973 Chile leading to the overthrow and murder of democratically elected Salvador Allende. Thousands of Chileans were tortured, murdered or simply “disappeared”.

Putting aside the unsavory connotations of junta in this wine’s name let’s give it a try.

Aroma: As befitting Chilean Carménère redolent with raspberry. Also blueberry, black cherry, strawberry and some mocha.

Palate: Low in the tannin tank. Firm structure ring fencing much of the fruit from the palate. Short finish.

Personality: If one can compare military decorations to the bouquet of the wine like General Pinochet this wine would have a chest full of hardware. But as for what is in the mouth perhaps send the winemaker for interrogation.

Food Match: A “Friday night wine” a code word for less than a stellar wine. Pizza, burgers or burritos.

Cellarbility: Drink in 2025.

Price: $14 CDN.

RKS 2025 Wine Rating: 85/100. jamessuckling.com 91.

(La Junta 2022 Reserve Carménère, Curicó Valley, Viña La Junta, Santiago, Chile, 750 mL, 13.5%).