“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: MY WALKING STYLE IN THE HOOD: THINK SINATRA’S “I DID IT MY WAY”

MY WALKING STYLE IN THE HOOD: THINK SINATRA’S “I DID IT MY WAY”

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

When walking in the hood with Bob he says I remind him of the Sinatra song, “I Did it My Way”. I start by deep contemplation when leaving the house should I turn right or left. Should I cross the street?

I am walking Bob not the other way around!

I go to Billy’s house and wait for him to emerge. Perhaps a twirl or two if he is not at home. Then up to Mookie’s to do the same. Then a backtrack to Lulu’s, then to Karl’s house as I have been to a few parties there. Then home unless I encounter some of my friends in which I will play with them and follow them around for a bit. Never much of a linear progression.

At night though in darkness I might continue in one direction. You might say when I walk in the hood I do it my way!

You might surmise all this is haphazard, but I have planned each chartered course along the way.

When I walk at the park it is mostly straight ahead.

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: OF BUZZING, HUMMING, WHINING AND GREEN BURRS: MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE: I AM NO PIERRE RADISSON!

OF BUZZING, HUMMING, WHINING AND GREEN BURRS MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE: I AM NO PIERRE RADISSON! MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

Before we packed up and headed back to Toronto all of us went for a short walk on the trail behind the tennis courts. High pitched whining, buzzing and humming all around me. And if I stopped little skeeters and all manner of insects attacked me. Bugs in the forest looking for my blood or flesh! Flying Draculas! Suzy Larue said no breeze to blow the little buggers away you are dead meat.

And those tiny green burrs on my head. OUCH I said to Bob removing them!

Let’s face it I am no Pierre Radisson.

I have a little poem;

As a Westie I love the outdoors

But stay away you blood sucking and flesh biting whores!

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: SATURDAY IN CREEMORE: LIFESTYLES OF THE TORONTO GENTRY: MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

SATURDAY IN CREEMORE: LIFESTYLES OF THE TORONTO GENTRY: MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

It has been close to twenty years since Bob and Fay have stayed with Suzy Larue. Mr. Larue is long since in the Great Land Beyond but his spirit hovers above the property.

Bob was looking forward to visiting the quaint town of Creemore where locals and the Toronto Gentry who have second grand homes were once seen mingling the streets. Farmers having coffee and breakfast with the Toronto Gentry. The quaint Creemore Brewery, perhaps the first truly local brewery in Ontario. Authentic small-town vibes.

We stopped at the outskirts of Creemore for some petrol and those gas pumps were so cool Bob said. One pump for EXTREME and another for REGULAR instead of a bank of numbers showing the grade. But the owner was Korean. About the only non-Caucasian we saw this Saturday morning so unlike Toronto where being a Caucasian is in the minority. Culture shock Bob noted!

The Toronto Gentry flooded the main street. Well dressed emitting a confident and smug air my nose detected. We had a sandwich at the Bank Cafe a popular Toronto Gentry hangout. Fancy coffees and they brought our BLT all wrapped up in fancy wax paper and tied with a ribbon! And yes Bob saw a local taking a coffee away and the fellow stuck out like a sore thumb. The Pine and Chez Michel exclusive eateries costing a bundle! Cyclists with the latest bikes and gear.

As Bob remarked, “What the hell has happened to Creemore! Where are the kulaks!”

The farmer’s market had very little produce instead full of niceties you might find at a Toronto “farmer’s market”. Bob, a jam maker, had an interesting conversation with a lady selling her homemade jams. To avoid the gunk Bob has on his strawberry jam he made this year she said freeze the strawberries then make the jam with them. He also bought some local honey.

We then drove to some tony dairy just outside of Alliston. They sell some of their products to high end Toronto stores that the Toronto Gentry regularly shop at back home in Toronto.

Then another stop Maple Grove Farms. With a minimal amount of produce but more high-end dainties and fancies. Delicious granola for sure I can attest to that with everything the Toronto Gentry requires for a fancy dinner party in the countryside.

As Bob said you can’t stop the Toronto Gentry as they are en masse in Niagara-on-the-Lake and Prince Edward County both a relative short distance from Toronto.

I enjoyed returning home to Suzy Larue’s where Bob cooked, may I say, a Toronto Gentry dinner of seared tuna with two complicated emulsions, brown rice and green beans!

Could it be Bob and Fay are sort of Toronto Gentry in the closet? Before you know it they’ll buy a farm here and become official Toronto Gentry in Creemore!

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: I ALMOST DROWNED CHASING A GREEN SQUIRREL! MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

I ALMOST DROWNED CHASING A GREEN SQUIRREL! MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

Up at Suzy Larue’s in the Mulmur Hills there is a pond and as I sidled up the edge of the pond, I saw a few strange looking green squirrels making croaking type noises and jumping into the water when I approached them. Being a patient hunter, I used all my stealth and crept up to one of these green squirrels and pounced on it. Missed it and ended up in the water! HELP I’m drowning!!! But wait I am swimming and enjoying, at least momentarily, the cool water. Thank goodness I made it “to shore”.

Bob said, “You almost caught that frog.” Well shiver me timbers I was frog hunting! Just as fun as chasing a squirrel I will say. Make a mistake and you’ll get a good soaking…adds some danger to the pursuit.

So, I’m grunting and rolling in the grass to dry off and I roll right back into the pond!

With my zero-success rate at snagging a frog or a squirrel I will just have to practice with hunting large blueberries and ants!

RKS CANADIAN LITERATURE: Cleaning Up Dog Shit and Marriage Vows (Joanna Goodman)

She does not feel young. She holds up her hand and twists her wedding band around her finger. Scott put it on her for the first time on a rooftop terrace in Gramercy Park, a lifetime ago. They were married there by a Unitarian minster, with only their families and a handful of good friends in attendance. The apartment belonged to the parents of one of her stepfather’s colleagues. The ceremony overlooked Manhattan, and she remembers thinking how strange it was to see people walking their dogs in the park below as she was saying, “I do.” It was the most momentous day of her life, and just an average day for those dogs and their owners, cleaning up shit and perhaps glancing up at the young couple on the terrace with their whole lives in front of them.

Joanna Goodman, “The Inheritance”, Harper Collins 2024

RKS American Literature: An Intelligent Woman’s Ability to See How Full of Shit a Man Is! (Dennis Lehane)

Now standing in front of Carmen Davenport’s building, holding both her hands by the fingers she tells him she had a nice night and he agrees that he did too and they both smile goofily and wonder if they should try another kiss, he realizes that what scares him about her is what scares him about all intelligent women – that’s she smart enough to see, very quickly how completely full of shit he is. He doesn’t know what he is doing; never did. Doesn’t know where he is going, never had a clue. He feels, at his essence, that he is a baby who was dropped by a stork and is still falling toward the chimney. Everything else he shows the world is costume.

Dennis Lehane, “Small Mercies”, 2023

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: IS IT THE CAR OR THE DESTINATION? MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

IS IT THE CAR OR THE DESTINATION? MY MULMUR HILLS ADVENTURE

I caused an enormous ruckus on my first major car ride attempt down to Kensington Market in Toronto. So much so we had to return home lest my shrill bark of despair deafen Bob and Fay! Of course, Bob and Fay drove to Denfield, Ontario to pick me up and bring me “home” from Arendale Kennels and there were a couple of hellish car trips to the vet but this time we are travelling to the beautiful Mulmur Hills a two-hour trip from Toronto.

Of late when the word “car” hits my long radar like ears I become excited because it almost always means a trip to Sherwood Park. Do I really love the car like Arnie Cunnigham in the John Carpenter film “Christine” or is it the destination?

I think we may be splitting hairs here. If the car takes me to a destination I love then I love the car so let’s not argue the point.

We loaded up the car for our few days with Suzy Larue up at her estate in the Mulmur Hills. Suzy is known as Canada’s Pesto Queen selling all manner of pesto in the Canadian and American marketplace. Oregano pesto, Basil Pesto, Rosemary Pesto, Hot Pepper and Mixed Herb pesto to name but a few. It is a little-known fact, but Larue is the sister of that famous talk show host Johnny Larue portrayed in the Canadian comedy show SCTV!

And Larue has two dogs 15-year-old Pine Nut and 5-year-old Parmesan also the names of key ingredients for pesto! Speaking of pesto, it is made with loads of garlic a no no for dogs so while I love the smell of pesto I must not eat it. Oh the life of a dog!

My car trip to the Mulmur Hills was a breeze as I slept most of the time although I hear Bob say to Fay that small half dose of Trazadone might have helped. Trazadone? What on earth is that?

RKS American Literature: Bringing a Pornographer to Christmas Dinner (Dennis Lehane)

Mary Pat’s not going to be seen voluntarily walking two cops into her building. That would be like bringing a pornographer to Christmas dinner.

Dennis Lehane, “Small Mercies”, 2023

RKS American Literature: In Boston Stay in Your “Own Neighbourhood” (Dennis Lehane)

Because the truth is they don’t understand one another. It’s not a plan of Mary Pat’s making, nor is it her desire, that they have different tastes in music, in clothes, in food they put on their tables. But that’s the way it is just the same. They like different cars, different sports, different movies. They don’t even talk the same. The Puerto Ricans barely speak the language, but most of the blacks she knows have grown up here and still it’s like they didn’t. They speak that jive of theirs, which, truth be told, Mary Pat likes, loves the rhythm of it, loves the way they emphasize different words in a sentence than any white people she knows, have a way of punching out through the ends of their stories with big booming laughs. But it doesn’t sound anything like the speech that leaves the mouths of Mary Pat or her friends. So if you don’t speak like us, Mary Pat wants to ask, and if you don’t like our music, our clothes, our food, our ways, why come into our neighborhood?

Dennis Lehane, “Small Mercies”, 2023