“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDERS ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: GRUESOME MURDER OF MADAME FONG!

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: GRUESOME MURDER OF MADAME FONG!

Bobby Fong Jr., Amira and I were just about ready to leave the dining salon after our breakfast when news reached us Madame Fong, or at least most of her, was found murdered in her Presidential Stateroom. Her head was missing!

Bobby Fong Jr. showed no emotion mumbling. “She deserved it the bitch.” Seeing how she mistreated him well I can’t say I was overwhelmed by his reaction. Evidence he might have murdered his mother?

The investigators were to question her that day at noon. No chance of that but as she had slapped Nicomshire and kicked him in the balls the night before Nicomshire died did she meet some form of poetic justice.

Then again Keith, our butler, must have had reason to “dislike” Madame Fong his mother, at least according to his father Sir Reginald Nicomshire. She failed to recognize him as her son. Bitterness? Hatred? Rage?

Multiple murders on the Eastern& Oriental Express!

I had the sense the case was about to bust open bigtime.

As for poor Madame Fong’s head some village boys beyond the Woodlands Train Station permitter fence were using her head to play football.

And come to think of it Madame Fong had been suspiciously friendly with me the night before her death suggesting I could arrange a favour for her I could immediately be sent back home to Toronto. “Home” …..not sure what that is meaning as clear as I used to. Get me off this damn train!

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: CANADIAN SECURITY INTELLIGENCE SERVICES TOP SECRET MEMO: PROPOSED INVASION OF CANADA BY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: CANADIAN SECURITY INTELLIGENCE SERVICES TOP SECRET MEMO: PROPOSED INVASION OF CANADA BY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

CANADIAN SECURITY INTELLIGENCE SERVICES TOP SECRET INTELLIGENCE REPORT

Canadian Security Intelligence Services (CSIS) operatives xxxxxx and xxxxxx filed two observation reports this morning based on Canadian satellite surveillance noting United States troop and military ordinances movement concentrating in Buffalo, New York, Champlain, New York, and Bellingham, Washington. The greatest concentration is in the Buffalo, New York Area.

United States Airforce bases in Plattsburgh, New York, Minot Airforce Base in North Dakota and McConnell Air Force Base in Kansas have seen arrivals of squadrons of fighter jets, surveillance aircraft and attack helicopters in amounts far above normal movements.

National Guard units in North Dakota, New Jersey, Washington State, Maine and Vermont have been recently placed on “pre alert readiness” inconsistent with preestablished patterns for such alerts.

The Top Readiness Command Centre of CSIS has been activated as a result of these reports as the extent of such military resource augmentation is consistent with past invasions mounted by the United States.

Of particular concern have been reports of extensive ground surveillance of Canadian Forces Trenton Airforce Base in Trenton Ontario. Two adult males in their thirties were apprehended on the perimeter of the Trenton Base with surveillance equipment. When apprehended by Trenton Military Police patrolling the perimeter these men claimed to be attending a New York State Ophthalmologist Conference being held at the Royal Hotel in Picton, Ontario 26 kilometres from the Trenton Base. As no such conference has been organized according to the New York State Ophthalmologist Association (NYSOA) the two men apprehended have been placed under military detention and the 27 remaining “ophthalmologists” disappeared within one hour of the detention of the two men. Verification checks of attendees shown on the Royal Hotel’s guest list at the Picton, Ontario conference and with the NYSOA reveal none of the 29 attendees are actually on the NYSAO list of accredited ophthalmologists.

Media intelligence units of CSIS have in the past 7 days noted President Orville Grump of the United States has made 43 references publicly about how Canada should become the 51st state of the United States to protect the United States from mass fentanyl deaths. Additionally, President Grump has referred to Canada as the land of the Igloo People, its Prime Minister as a governor and Canada and existing only because the United States 75 times.

CSIS will recommend to Canadian Armed Forces High Command to immediately put all Canadian Armed Forces units on high alert.

CSIS will continue to monitor and report on the situation.

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: CANADA/ THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND PRESIDENT ORVILLE GRUMP

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: CANADA/THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND PRESIDENT ORVILLE GRUMP

Canada, Venezuela and Greenland have in common they were to benefit beyond belief, according to President Orville Grump and the United States, from being annexed by the United States as the 51st state.

The effect of this annexation threat was a boon for Canadian nationalism causing Canadians Canadian to rally against the Presidential threat.

Coupled with this threat was a fabrication Canada was the source of truckloads of fentanyl, manufactured in China, murdering thousands of Americans. Statistics from each country’s border authority made Grump’s statement a pie faced lie but it enabled him to declare an emergency and levy punishing tariffs on Canadian aluminum, steel, autos and lumber such tariffs being paid for by American consumers. There was little power vested in Canada to strike back tit for tat.

There was nothing more Grump would prefer than the smashing of the Canadian economy; to bring it on its knees.

As you may recall Madame Fong’ great grandfather and many other Chinese emigrated to Canada in the 1870s to build the final leg of the national railway system in British Columbia where they suffered abuse and exploitation and in Fong’s great grandfather murdered by a rogue railway official never prosecuted for the murder. Madame Fong hated Canada perhaps to the point of obsession. What on earth could she do to implement her obsession? Could President Orville Grump be of use?

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND PRESIDENT ORVILLE GRUMP

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND PRESIDENT ORVILLE GRUMP

Remember that otherwise badly burnt food does not stick to Teflon.

The President of the United States, Orville Grump, rattled his sabre, rusty as it was, at just about anyone or any country. Erratically a friend today, a real nice country, a great country then 24 hours later an enemy of the United States where a deal was required for the unilateral benefit of the United States.

Most egregious, at least for the moment, was Grump’s threat to annex The Land of the Igloo People, that’s Canada, as the 51st state of the United States. Grump’s mathematical ability might have been impaired as Greenland and Venezuela were simultaneously to be the 51st state.

Canadians were furious with this threat and a huge domestic promotion campaign of purchasing Canadian goods and services (over American ones) mushroomed in Canada and in some Canadian provinces the sale of American alcohol was banned seriously damaging the economies of California and Kentucky. Travel by Canadians to the United States plummeted hammering New York State, California, Florida, New Jersey and Maine great benefactors of Canadian tourism.

Then there was the Grumpian tariff obsession hammering Canadian aluminum, steel, autos and lumber. Canada, as a mouse, sleeps next to an elephant, the United States so when it turns over look out. China was singled out as an all-devil force flooding the market with “cheap trash”. Yes, economic efficiency touted and practiced by the United States one might say was “taken over” by China. What was good for goose was not good for the gander!

Personal insults by Grump directed toward China were continual with accusations China was the cause and superspreader of “The Kung Flu” and references to the President of China as “Hop Sing” and to China as the “Land of Chop Suey”.

Through imaginary facts and figures Canada was labelled as the killer of thousands of Americans by flooding the United States with oceans of fentanyl all originating from China.

Did Grump really hate Canada or was it “deal strategy”?

Wasn’t it interesting Madame Fong hated Canada for the murder of her migrant from China great grandfather “murdered by the white railroad mob” while building Canada’s national rail line in the mid 1800’s? Bobby Fong Jr. related this murder story to me weeks ago but the investigators of Sir Reginald Nicomshire’s murder failed to unearth this hatred.

Could it be that both Madame Fong and Grump wanted to destroy Canada and could there possibly be a link of this hatred to the Death of Sir Reginald Nicomshire?

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: BEYOND MOTIVES AND PERSONALITIES…..POLITICS AND FETANYL

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: BEYOND MOTIVES AND PERSONALITIES…..POLITICS AND FETANYL

Being from Toronto on occasion Bobby Fong Jr. would listen to a nightly news broadcast “The National” from the Canadian broadcasting Company (CBC). Of late news consisted largely of a stream of quasi-hallucinatory reports detailing the antics, ravings and bumbling’s of Orville Grump, The President of the United States. Matters on the Grump front had begun heating up since his recovery from a serious health incident. Grump had been sneaking a few sodium enriched chicken legs in the bushes behind the White House hedges when he choked on a chicken bone and was revived at the last moment, some say regrettably, by a real nice, good guy friend Elvin “Chainsaw Boy” Cantaloupe.

If you are bored by politics then stop reading and go watch some Tik Tok videos for some “real news” but you need account for politics and fentanyl in the murder of Sir Reginald Nicomshire.

The main players in this political game, or is it an absurdist comedy, are China, Canada, Greenland, North Korea, Albania and of course The United States of America and its fifty or possibly 51 states!

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: KEITH THE BUTLER AND THE INFAMOUS CHENGDU SHUYANFU RESTAURANT VIKING CRUISE PASSENGER SHIP BRAWL:

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: KEITH THE BUTLER AND THE INFAMOUS CHENGDU SHUYANFU RESTAURANT VIKING CRUISE SHIP PASSENGER BRAWL: SHOCKING PARENTAL NEWS!

Each cabin on the Eastern & Oriental Express had a butler and Keith was ours.

I can’t say I had much trust in Keith resulting from his admission of accepting a “courtesy payment” from CNN reporter Jambon Prosciutto to access our State Cabin after the Malay Tiger incident.

The investigators unearthed some interesting and even salacious facts about Keith;

  • KEITH WAS ALLEGEDLY THE “ILLEGITIMATE” SON OF SIR REGINALD NICOMSHIRE AND MADAME FONG!
  • Nicomshire provided him with an annual stipend of a modest amount
  • No criminal record
  • Nicomshire sent him to the Chengdu Culinary and Hospitality Institute in China for a two-year certification programme
  • At Keith’s first post graduate job at the Shunyanfu Dinner Show Restaurant in Chengdu a group of Viking Cruise ship passengers on an inland excursion complained about the lack of hamburgers and Budweiser beer chastising Keith, acting as manager, for not having an English floor show. Keith chastised the Americans for being obese potbellied Yanks crude as can be for wearing baseball caps in the restaurant. A pushing match ensued and an all-out riot ensued amongst staff and the Viking Cruise Ship passengers. The American ambassador to China threatened a United States levy of a 4,000% tariff on Chinese Tilapia imported into the United States unless Keith was deported to Singapore and so he was
  • Nicomshire’s will bequeathed to Keith an annual life stipend of $50,000 USD .

Bobby Fong Jr. now had a half-brother.

Madame Fong denied any carnal link to Sir Reginald Nicomshire saying in Bill Clintonesque fashion, “I never had sex with that man!”

The eager beaver investigators had a motive for Keith being the murderer…money, that annual stipend and never being formally recognized by Nicomshire as being his son.

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: AM I NOW AS SUSPECT IN THE MURDER OF SIR REGINALD NICOMSHIRE?

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: AM I NOW AS SUSPECT IN THE MURDER OF SIR REGINALD NICOMSHIRE?

Sir Reginald Nicomshire was murdered. Shortly thereafter Cuddlecakes, that’s me, is named a substantial beneficiary under his testamentary provisions. Did Cuddlecakes know he was a beneficiary hence knocked off the old geezer to collect his inheritance?

Sounds good in theory unless you realize Cuddlecakes, my alias, is a puppy and how can a puppy murder a human being? Perhaps a puppy can be used as a lure but how can a puppy have intent to murder? Someone was using a puppy as a puppy can not manipulate a human, except for food of course! I remind readers please remember this is not a graphic comic where a puppy can walk, talk, carry a weapon and commit murder!

Legally a puppy can not be charged with a crime but eager Singaporean and Malaysian police are so eager to pin the murder of Nicomshire on anyone they overlooked my puppiness making me a suspect. Ludicrous. I mean they couldn’t even have questioned me!

Nonetheless I have been prohibited from leaving the train.

God help the criminals of Singapore and Malaysia being questioned by their respective police forces.

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: I AM HALF A BILLIONAIRE! A TRUST FUND BABY!

The Singapore Times Exclusive: THE ABDUCTION OF RORY DYLAN STEPHEN: MURDER ON THE EASTERN & ORIENTAL EXPRESS: I AM HALF A BILLIONAIRE! A TRUST FUND BABY!

Bobby Fong Jr. was reading The Singapore Times after our breakfast and he nearly had a conniption and choked on his 12 Monkeys Cambodian Tea! “Cuddlecakes, you are now a trust fund baby!”

A search of Sir Reginald Nicomshire’s State Cabin on the Eastern & Oriental Express unearthed a codicil wherein Nicomshire revised his will to bequeath to Cuddlecakes, that’s me, two of his largest shipping lines, Hesso Steamships and Kouradaki Express worth an estimated $500,000 USD. I was referred to in the codicil as “Cuddlecakes my dearest man’s best friend.” Yes I knew that the man was obsessed with West Highland Terriers but not to this extent!

The management and ownership of the two shipping lines were to be held in a Singaporean Canine Trust under the trusteeship of the Pernakan and Hock Keng Trust Company. Eighty percent of the revenue was to be reinvested in the two shipping lines and twenty percent to the legal owner of Cuddlecakes “for the care, education, maintenance, health and comfort of Cuddlecakes as decided by the said legal owner.”

Let’s say I am about the richest puppy in the world! “Trouble”, Leona Hemsley’s dog was bequeathed a measly $12,000,000 in 2007 shaved down by judicial order to $2,000,000.

Sizeable bequests were made to The George Orwell Museum in the United Kingdom, The Sex Museum in New York City and several veterinarian and West Highland Terrier rescue operations in Canada and Southeast Asia.

The bulk of the estate was made to the reopening of Wells College in Aurora, New York closed in 2025 due to financial difficulties.

Nicomshire’s wife received all of Nicomshire’s real estate and an annual stipend of $40,000,000 until such time as her death.

What an honour for me. And since Bobby Fong Jr. was my owner, he benefitted as well. One problem though. Cuddlecakes was an assumed name and based on false documentation. Something to worry about later.

The news was not all milk and honey though as you will soon find out.

RKS THE LITERATURE OF INDIA: Money as a Curse (Deepti Kapoor)

“Money’s a fucking curse, he said. It cuts out all the hard work. Before you had to be kind or funny or fun. Interesting or intelligent. You had to take the time to know people. You had solidarity with them. Then you’re rich. It annihilates everything. Everyone is nice to you. Everyone wants you there. You’re the most popular person in the room. It’s so easy to be charming when you’re rich. Everyone laughs at your jokes and hangs on your word. You forget and think its about you. Then sometimes you go somewhere and you don’t spend, and it’s so miserable, it’s so horrible to go back to the drawing board, and you’ve forgotten how to earn somebody’s trust or love, and you know its easier with a shortcut or two, so you bring out cash in the end, the wad, the clip, the card, and the thrill of it is greater, because they didn’t know, and now they do. You’re rich. You’re in charge. They love you. Money’s a fucking curse.”

Deepti Kapoor, “Age of Vice”, 2023

RKS THE LITERATURE OF INDIA: Poverty, Ambition and the Upward Climb in India (Deepti Kapoor)

“The only thing he is guilty of is ambition. Of rising above his station. Did my father cut corners on the way? Yes. This is India. The game is rigged, the rules are stacked, you people make the rules in the first place. You already have everything, and you don’t want to share. So sometimes things must be taken. But ultimately, he gives people what they want. People like you, your colleague, they’ve always talked about him behind his back. I spent my school days listening to it. You know he sent me to a good school, he wanted me to improve, to mix with people like you. I was expelled. My classmates spoke just loud enough that I could hear. I could be reminded we were never like them. Thing is, the world has changed.”

Deepti Kapoor, “Age of Vice”, 2023