RKS 2023 Film: “The Outwaters”

The promotional blurb I received for the film describes “The Outwaters” as a “throwback to the early days of the found footage genre”. My goodness talk about an obscure genre, at least in my neck of the woods. If I was to give this film a categorization I might say it is “a flashlight in dark genre” film and quite frankly there is just too much of those flashlights in the dark in the movie. It gets a bit boring.

Four artsy types head out to the Mojave Desert to film a music video for Michelle. All four are reported missing on August 8, 2017, and it is in 2022 that a camera is found in the desert with memory cards which tell the story of their misadventure. Just regular 30-year-olds looking forward to a desert trip. Easily predictable as it is a horror movie matters take a turn for the worse. Oddities quickly become horrific. Of course, I can’t tell you what the meat of the horror is other than its bloody and poor Robby cuts off his penis near the end of the film. Obviously, some deep symbolism! And the references to Jesus and saying the Lord’s Prayer? The donkey stares?

Yes there are blood and guts, screams, strange slithering creatures, loud booming noises, fluttering and pulsating lights and even a few , “I want my Mommy” calls.

“The Outwaters” certainly has its creative and terrifying moments worth the price of admission but for my taste there is just too much flashlight in the dark. Those slithering creatures are shiver causers! But what you make of this film, as always, is up to you. My interpretation is that this is a trip through hell.

The film has quite an extensive North American release commencing 9February2023. It is directed by Robbie Banfitch who also wrote and starred in the film.

You can see the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Du7TvNqvY

RKS 2023 Film Rating 73/100 or should it be 666!

“The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous” : Chapter 49: Good-Bye Naples, Good-Bye Scampia and Good-Bye Don Lupara….for the time being

Seven hours after departing Bucharest I was at my seaside home on the Bay of Naples. Don Lupara gave me a call and invited me to dinner at the “compound” the following day. Perhaps it was my imagination but the scent of Ginevra still lingered in the house that was to be the home of Ginevra and our child. I took a long walk on the beach and went to pick up a couple of pizzas and a bottle of Piedirossa red wine then turned on the television to watch an unending number of stories chronicling drug gang violence and this was a time that Naples was at peace!

Don Lupara’s boys came to pick me up and off we sped to the family compound. Malvagia, Lupara’s wife, the sweet old bird she was, gave me a bone crushing hug remarking how thin I was and that I should eat lots of Neapolitan cuisine to fatten up. For Neapolitans food is medicine and it is so irresistible even the terminally ill find it difficult to resist. I hadn’t eaten much in Romania so I was starving and ate like a maniac puffing Malvagia up with pride as she insisted upon preparing all meals despite the fact Lupara could afford Michelin starred chefs! Malvagia’s stuffed veal cutlets could accomplish world peace.

After our feast I waddled over to Don Lupara’s library for grappa and coffee. Nothing like grappa and coffee to clear the mind. Here I was in the room with a vicious killer that executed two teenagers before my eyes yet I loved him like a father. All who loved Ginevra I loved. Isn’t that despicable?

Don Lupara was stooped and in state of exhaustion. With tears rolling down his eyes he thanked me for “disposing of” Cyclops the murdering dog that killed Ginevra. He asked about the fear in Cyclops’ eyes before I pulled the trigger. He had laughed at me and dared me to pull the trigger but I told Don Lupara he had shitted his pants. He showed me Ginevra’s six shooter pistol framed on the wall saying we must never forget.

Don Lupara offered me his business but I refused. He chuckled and said that ordinarily he would have been insulted and killed me but Ginevra would haunt him if he did. After many more grappa’s and tears we said good-bye and in a strange ritual we cut our arms and mixed our bloody limbs together. We were blood brothers…Neapolitan blood brothers to the end and beyond into immortality. My seaside home was mine he said and ordered me to visit every year which on Ginevra’s memory I agreed.

I returned to my villa and cried myself to sleep. I knew that any more involvement in this Scampian narcotic business would come to no good. Time had come to leave Naples, Scampia and Don Lupara. It was back to a mental hospital for me but not as a patient.

RKS Wine 2023: Carménère From Terra Pura in Chile

Aromatics: Raspberry jam, strawberry, blueberry and a hint of dark chocolate.

Palate: The tannins are light and the acids are behaving themselves. Blackberry, raspberry, black cherry with a medium brackish finish.

Personality: I am a good Carménère and proud of it. I am a bit rough on the edges which just might suit your palate and the food you are eating. Like when you are watching the Superbowl defiantly refusing to drink beer I will be a good match for chili and pizza. Who can argue with chili and Chile!

Food match: Good with burgers, pizza, spaghetti and meatballs.

Cellarbility: Give this wine until the end of 2023 to start smoothing out. Drink by 2026.

In a nutshell: Carménère may run the gamut from rough to elegant. This one is a bit gruff but an Alanis Morrissette “Jagged Little Pill” it is not. Good utilitarian wine with many foods.

Price: $18.95 (Ontario).

RKS 2023 Wine Rating: 88/100.

(Terra Pura Single Vineyard Carménère 2019, D.O. Valle de Colchagua, Terrapura, Santiao de Chile, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 27210, 750 mL,14%).

RKS Wine 2023: What is the Essence of Wine?

“It’s life, in the last analysis, is what sets wine apart. There is nothing else we buy to eat or drink that brings us the identity of a place and time in the same way, that memorizes and recalls (if we listen) all the circumstances that make it what it is. You can, of course, like a college examiner, submit every sample to the same critical appraisal and accept or reject it. Or you can embrace the identity, enjoy the circumstances, be transported to other places and times. Embrace even the mythology: it adds to the colour of life.”

Hugh Johnson “A Life Uncorked” University of California Press

RKS 2023 Wine: Quinta do Espírito Santo from Lisbon

You may know Lisbon as a wonderful tourist destination although unfortunately of late it is overrun by tourists. It is also a Portuguese wine appellation. The Quinta do Espírito Santo label has that annoying characteristic of not describing the grapes used in the blend instead stating it is made from “very ripe grapes of typical Portuguese varieties”. The label also states the wine has been aged in oak but French, Hungarian or French? And how long has it been aged?

Aromatics: Black cherry, blackberry, blueberry and dark chocolate.

Palate: Moderate to heavy tannins. While there is blackberry galore and a tad of espresso the wine is a bit gruff. Poorly made or simply requiring a bit more ageing as many Lisbon reds require?

Personality: By today’s standards wasn’t Marlon Brando a puppy in the “Wild Ones” although at the time he was portraying a hoodlum. Is this wine gruff and tough but going to be a puppy in three years?

Cellarability: Taking a gamble I’d say give it two more years to start and reassess. I wouldn’t be surprised if it peaks in 2026.

Food match: Beef roti.

In a nutshell: A wine that takes no prisoners at least now. 

RKS 2023 Wine Rating: 87/100.

(Quinta do Espírito Santo 2018, Vinho Regional Lisboa, Casa Santos Lima, $14.95, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 48015, 15%, 750 mL).

RKS 2023 Film: “Metronom”: Sex, Cognac, Rock and Roll and Romanian Communism

Ana (Mara Bugarin), a senior high school student in 1972 Bucharest, wants to visit her buddy Roxana (Mara Vicol) and a group of friends to listen to music and chat. Mother does not want Ana to go as she has to study for university entrance exams. But being somewhat of a typical teenager Ana defies Mom and heads out to Roxana’s whose parents are away on a business trip.

Yes there is lots of cognac and as the afternoon progresses making out and yes sex! One problem though this is 1972 Romania where listening to capitalist radio, watching corruptive capitalist television or consorting with the foreign press can draw a prison sentence of six years. This repressive society was not unique to Romania at the time but to the U.S.S.R. and most of the Eastern Bloc behind the Iron Curtain. So these typical teenagers out for a good time crack jokes about Nicolae Ceausescu the leader of the Romanian Communist Party and have the audacity to compose a letter to Cornel a DJ with Voice of America and a Romanian defector criticizing the Romanian regime and requesting several American rock n roll songs. His radio show is called Metronom.  My oh my you might say what is wrong with this as why would the Gestapoesque security forces sweep in and detain these “teens are teens”? They are threats to absolute political control!

The security forces tell the teen rebels to write confessions but Ana stubbornly puts up resistance and is hauled in front of good cop bad cop Colonel Boris (Vlad Ivanov) for further interrogation. Does she buckle and face a ruined life and prison sentence? Was there an informant?

A marvelous coming of age story and can we say a political thriller or is it an examination of stupidity of a desperate regime? Or does the Romanian state have the acuity to recognize the extreme danger of sex, cognac and Jim Morrison and the Doors? Perhaps it is a melange? Led Zeppelin records can land you in prison!

Accurate? I was in Romania for a month in 1974. I was tailed by security forces, met with the family of a high-level defector, snuck into a communist youth camp discotheque in Constanta, met with black marketeers and yes even had a fun evening with young guys my age including the son of the Minister of Energy. This film is accurate and is a must watch study in repression which is not restricted to Romania of a different time.

Bugarin does an excellent job as a sultry and defiant Ana as does Vicol as the spirited Roxana. Ivanov as the Colonel is almost likeable at times but essentially a ruthless Ceausescu guard dog.

Winner of Best Director (Alexandru Belc) at the 2022 Cannes Film Festival. Opening in Canadian theatres 24February2023.

RKS 2023 Film Rating 96/100.

RKS 2023 Wine: Errazuriz Max VIII from Chile

Sorry can’t help thinking this wine sounds like some motor oil. Hopefully it tastes better than Saudi juice.

It comes from 8 different vineyards in the Aconcagua Valley in Chile which has been carved out by the abundant rainwater that flows down from Mt. Aconcagua, the highest mountain range in the western hemisphere. Red varieties have had a long tradition in the inner valley close to the Andes while cool climate loving Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Noir are thriving near the coast.

It is an extremely approachable blend of Syrah, Malbec, Carménère, Grenache, Cabernet Sauvignon and Mourvedre. Who wouldn’t want to oil their gullet with this wine!

Aromatics: Blackberry, black cherry, blueberry and big fat local strawberries so different from wooden Californian ones we must suffer through in Canada for most of the year.

Palate: I would dearly love to have the blenders of this wine on my payroll because they have blended an enormously approachable wine. The tannins are moderate but so diffuse they just might trick you into thinking they are less prominent than they really are. Raspberry and the strawberry are the influence of Carménère and Grenache respectively. Although a bit thin the fruit does wonders here.

Personality: I am everyone’s best friend. That includes novices and hot shot wine writers like the guy that is describing me now. For Canadians that love Trius Red from Niagara you’ll love me!

Food match: Bacon wrapped pork tenderloin, Port braised cabbage, roasted apple, celeriac purée and sage jus. Or spicy black bean chili!

Cellarbility: A slight improvement through to 2025 and drink by the end of 2026.

In a nutshell: If you like a red wine that is blended in a fashion to avoid any particular grape personality having prominence this wine is for you. Not complex but 5-star enjoyability.

Price: $25.95 (Ontario).

RKS 2023 Wine Rating: 90/100. Jamessuckling.com 94.

(Errazuriz Max VIII 2018, D.O. Valle de Aconcagua, Viña Errazuriz, Panqehue, Chile, 750 mL, LCBO # 24765, 14%).

” The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous: ” Chapter 48: Rot in Hell Cyclops! May You Be with the Angels Ginevra

OK so I had our Bombay Blues Whisky travelling road show at the J.W. Marriot Bucharest Grand Hotel’s “Voice of America” grand suite. The Romanians tanked up on Bombay Blues Whisky. In fact twenty bottles of it for 53 people. They scoffed down pounds of Bombay Fried Okra probably not noticing the inferior Albanian okra that was available on the market. And yes that Dacian beauty Corina was there batting her eyelashes coquettishly. Over a tumbler of Bombay Blues she repeatedly said I reminded her of someone she was once madly in love with from Canada.

Ginevra carrying our unborn child. Gone but not forgotten.

The next day I took a TAROM flight from Bucharest to Braşov. Ginevra’s six shooter was waiting for me at Chez Greasy Goulash a tacky little goulash restaurant and bar in the backstreets of Braşov. Don Lupara had sent it to his Romanian mob friends for me to pick up. The hollow point bullets had been filled with cyanide. There was also a semi automatic Romanian job a Cugir 2000 and a map showing the exact location of Cyclops in his luxury chalet in the Carpathian mountains and a beat up Dacia car. Off I went. Thank you to the Strigoi.

At dusk I was at the outskirts of Cyclops compound. I could see him through the window drunk as a skunk fondling two very young half naked girls. His lone security guard was out vomiting in the woods. Too much vodka? It was quite simple. I opened the sliding door and shouted Ginevra’s name and emptied Ginevra’s six shooter into the slime bucket’s head. There wasn’t much of it left. I grabbed the two girls who were pleading for their life but immediately saw I was not intending them any harm.

The drunken security guard saw Cyclops fall and ran like a bat out of hell. I sped away back to Bucharest with the girls in the back of the Dacia. I cried most of the way back to Bucharest. I had thought revenge was sweet but it was bitter. My Strigoi contact took the two girls and one of his men drove them back to Albania to their parents, their home. Ginevra’s six shooter would be returned to Don Lupara. I immediately boarded a flight back to Naples via Rome. What next?

RKS 2023 Film: “Children of the Mist”: Weird, Amusing or Just Plain Disgusting

“Children of the Mist” is a documentary exploring the kidnapping of young girls within the Hmong ethnic group in the isolated mountainous regions of northern Vietnam where the mist often drifts in. A component of the Hmong culture is the kidnapping of underage girls for the purposes of marriage as young as thirteen years of age. We follow Di for two years until she is kidnapped at 14 ½ years of age by a boy Vang that is of a similar age.

As a Canadian you may be outraged by the term “kidnapping”. However initially for some viewers it would appear to be at best perhaps a rather bizarre courtship ritual but at the conclusion of the documentary this interpretation is subject to fallibility. It evolves into attempted coercion, violent misogyny and inexcusable behaviour illegal under Vietnamese law where 18 is the legal marrying age. 

Di appears to be willingly kidnapped by Vang. Vang’s family pays a visit to Di’s family to negotiate a dowry to be paid for Di. So many kilos of pork, chickens, rice wine and cash.  Dad loves his rice wine and is plastered throughout much of the documentary. Vang’s father is a raging violent alcoholic. Matters become more oppressive and violent after that meeting particularly after a visit to Vang’s family. Vang is a high school dropout with no future. Di realizes she wants no part of this bleak future and drinks a “no thank you” glass of rice wine. Eventually Vang downs a glass and Di is left alone.

Cultural tolerance is one matter but should our tolerance extend to primitive and violent practices that should be universally rejected. Even the local political committee condemns the behaviour but in a rather lukewarm fashion. You may ask where in these impoverished Hmong rural villages Colonel Kurtz is sleeping and muttering to himself.

This 2021 Vietnamese documentary opens at Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema on 15February2023.

RKS 2023 Film Rating 86/100.

RKS 2023 Wine: One of Chile’s Great Chardonnays?

The Ventisquero Tara Atacama White Wine 1 2020 is only available in 10 Liquor Control Board of Ontario stores and considering the price of $54.95 it is no wonder! The label does not specifically label the wine as a Chardonnay instead stating: “Base Wine: Chardonnay”. Third party websites confirm it is 100% Chardonnay. My Anti Virus system gave me a warning the Ventisquero website was dangerous so I did not check that website for the possible other grapes that might have supplemented the “base wine”.

11,000 cases were produced.

Aromatics: Honey, apple, persimmons, sweet white Jaffa grapefruit and guava.

Palate: Grapefruit, tangerine with noticeable acidity. Pardon the comparison but the acidity and grapefruit remind me of an Ontario Riesling! Any richness and complexity is robbed by the bitter grapefruit finish.

Personality: OK so tim.atkin.com rated me a 96 so I must be great right? However if you like a wine with a sour disposition and not a lot of depth I am your wine.

Cellarbility: Being a shallow wine not much to improve upon by ageing.

Food Match: Being somewhat akin to a Vino Verde white I would pair with grilled sardines.

Price: $54.95 (Ontario). Being a sample this did not burn my pocket but quite frankly a 99-pound weakling Chardonnay.

In a nutshell: At a 96/100 timatkin.com rating I have a Luca Maroniish feeling.

RKS 2023 Wine Rating: 77/100. Timatkin.com 96/100.

(Tara Atacama White Wine 1 2020, D.O. Atacama Valley, Viña Ventisquero, Doñihue, Chile, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 511377, 750 mL, 13%).