RKS Film: “Montana Story”: Death of a Parent: Been There and Done That

When a parent dies the shit can hit the fan. And when the shit sprays it can be regenerating or it can rip the façade to shreds. I have been there and done that thrice.

Yes in one situation it was a bonding event and in another a rip tide of destruction. Yet within the bonding event a rogue brother and a sister-in-law flashed greed, animosity, jealously and bad childhood memories. You may have experienced this and if not yet the day may come.

In “Montana Story” sister Erin (Haley Lu Richardson) and brother Calvin (Owen Teague) return to Montana to visit their dad who is on life support. Erin and Calvin are so very distant and we learn why. Dad was an asshole. So big of an asshole he managed to shatter the brother and sister bond.

As Dad lies on life support does Calvin becomes a vengeful brother or a possible murderer? Was that a solid beep I heard signalling a natural demise? Did Calvin exact revenge?

Erin can kill chickens but did Calvin kill a human?

So you may not have yet assembled over the death of a parent. Perhaps the shit flies and if not are you burying it or stirring it up?

Perhaps I have said too much and perhaps Mr. T knows all?

I can’t spill all the beans but perhaps dad was a bastard so how do Calvin and Erin process this?

Incredibly beautiful Montana scenery and a rich soundtrack will satisfy you if you have yet to experience a parental death.

A film that resonates at its conclusion. I hate to break it to you but facing a death of a parent this film is prep.

Richardson and Teague deliver despite a weak script. Their talents deserve meatier and more substantial roles.

The film opens throughout Canada on June 17th.

Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel.

RKS Film Rating 86/100.

RKS Wine: Postcards from The Edge: Greetings from Riesling Rehab Part 1: God Bless the Okanagan Valley Liberation Front!

Where did my vicious downward spiral begin with Ontario Riesling? As a loyal soldier in the German Riesling Badder Than Meinhof gang all was humming well particularly my missions in the Pfalz warm weather Riesling area of our dear Deutschland where my comrades and I waved our revolutionary flags and gobbled pig knuckles and munched on the crispy buggers hoping in vain the good citizens of the capitalist West Germany decadent state would join our revolutionary brothers in East Germany. Oh the joys of Pfalz Riesling full of wet slate and apricots! Alas the Berlin Wall fell and I was assigned to Toronto Ontario as a mole in the Canadian German Friendship League.

Then a bad bolt of lightning struck me. My cover was to act as a wine writer a position of great power and wealth in Canada where fame and fortune were guaranteed. One fateful night I was assigned the role of a moderator in the great Canadian German Riesling showdown otherwise known as the “Judgement of Beamsville”. 20 Rieslings from the fatherland against 20 Rieslings from Niagara. Independent judges, at least those we didn’t encourage friendship with by offering free trips to Dresden, preferred Ontario Rieslings to those from the fatherland. Shaissa! It was then that a bad case of Post Traumatic Riesling Disorder descended with a vengeance. Awful flashes of judges raising Ontario Riesling to their snouts and actually smiling. My mind could not wrap around the fact that Ontario grapefruit juice was superior to the Rieslings of our fatherland. I had difficulty sleeping realizing the only chance for my sanity was to advocate sussreserve to make Ontario Rieslings up to snuff with German Rieslings! This suggestion earned me a tidal wave of abuse by Canadian wine writers who said I knew nothing about wine. How insulting considering my Doctorate in Wine was from the Karl Marx University in Dresden. Germany has been making wines for hundreds of years but Canada more or less just got off the bus.

So with all these flashbacks of sour tasting wine being lapped up to critical acclaim the Liquor Discontrol Board of Canada had me committed to a Riesling Re-Education camp in Wa Wa Ontario. I was forced to drink five different Ontario Rieslings a day and join a circle of disenchanted Ontario Riesling drinkers and chant how great Ontario Riesling was over and over until I felt like Frank Sinatra in the “Manchurian Candidate”. Upon retiring for the night loudspeakers blared the indisputable greatness of Ontario Riesling. But some commandos from the Okanagan rescued me. God Bless the Okanagan Valley Liberation Front which offered me my freedom!

“Travels to a Different Time” : 5September1989: Cancun, Mexico: Biggest Fucking Cockroaches in the World!

In Canada we have puppies but in Mexico the cockroaches are as big as puppies and step on them there is a sickening squelch as innards spray all over the place. I don’t think it is because the hotel is unclean but rather the little puppies have a home throughout Mexico like we have robins in our backyards in summer and spring! After breakfast took the public bus into town to exchange some money. Public buses here are clean and modern and far cheaper than a taxi. The town is choked by reeking diesel fumes. I purchased some tequila and Kahlua and took bus back home to a refreshing swim in the pool and up at the room the cleaning lady was moving out and the exterminator moving in. Went to nearby store for a cold beer for a cocktail on my balcony after an afternoon swim to El Pescador for more red snapper and a beer for $8.

“travels to a Different Time” : 4September1989: Cancun, Mexico: To Isla Mujeres for 30USD and all the Beer and Tequila I Can Drink!

Unfortunately, the alarm woke me up a 04:45 instead of my usual 06:45 time as I forgot to set the clock to Mexican time. So took a walk to the beach along the dilapidated dock where I met Lenny who offered to take me to Isla Mujeres on his boat for 30USD and all the beer and tequila I can drink. Most likely a rip off and do I want to be tossed over and fed to the sharks? All tourists in Cancun are potential victims especially if they can be isolated. Beware of Mexicans bearing gifts. Awful to say but reality can be unpleasant. After a sparse continental breakfast off to the beach which serves the hotels in the Hotel Zone. Nice white sand and water which is a bit rough. Seaweed littering the beach. Lots of umbrellas and thatched huts. Why I attended the “welcome greeting” offered by the Sunquest representative I don’t know. A total waste of time. It was so informative to learn the people in Cancun speak Spanish! Walked into town to El Pirata for a delicious red snapper filet. The restaurant was full of sunburnt Americans downing an assortment of tequila-based drinks. Dinner was $8.

“Travels to a Different Time” : 3September1989: Cancun, Mexico: Is the Beer Safe to Drink!

From Toronto off to Cancun. Unlike the obnoxiously early limo to the airport last year on the way to the Dominican Republic the limo was 10 minutes late but so early in the morning the traffic to Pearson airport was light. The flight was on Canadian Airways and the passengers were relatively quiet unlike our suburban populated flight last year where the suburbanites were dreaming of Pina Coladas. The terrain upon approach was less tropical than in the Dominican Republic or Puerto Vallarta. Whizzed through customs as we were the only flight arriving. The trip to the hotel was on an old dilapidated bus. There is a huge amount of construction occurring and I wonder if it a result of the hurricane that struck Cancun last year. They were, in a great entrepreneurial spirit, selling cold beer on the bus for a USD. Cold, light and thirst quenching. I even had a wide-eyed gringo ask me if it was safe to drink the beer in Mexico. This reminded me of my mother who once said (and those were different times) the safest beverage to dink in “those foreign countries” was beer. The hotel was in a hotel strip like in Las Vegas. A swampy lagoon on one side and the ocean on the other. Unfortunately even with a room change I am facing the lagoon. But at least on the third floor instead the ground floor. You can see Isla Mujeres from the beach. Room is adequate but not luxurious. I harken back to my travel days in the 1970’s and should be overjoyed I have hot water and even a poorly functioning television set. Pizza at a pizzeria (in Mexico!) was excellent although the mushrooms were canned! Corona beer was chilled and refreshing. Came home and sat on the balcony for a bit before retiring. The air is so different in feel and smell here.

RKS Wine: From the Terraced Vineyards of the Douro

The Douro River trip from Porto to Pinhão either on a ship or by rail is remarkably beautiful. One feature you see is terraced vineyards running up from the river. Mechanization is problematic given the steep slopes.

This Lua Cheia red wine from the Douro was grown on terraced slopes. It has a black cherry colour almost purplish. On the nose black currant, cassis, black cherry, licorice with a hint of lavender. On the palate the tannins are well hidden making this a smooth wine very relaxed and mellow in character. Notes of blackberry, cherry with some root beer at the core. The wine has aged nicely and really has nowhere to go other than in your glass by the end of 2022. Take it beyond that and a decline is inevitable.

Terraced vineyard in the Douro: Photo Robert K. Stephen

It would pair well with grilled meats and is mellow enough to pair with Portugal’s national dish Bachalau with cod as its key ingredient.

(Lua Cheia Red Wine 2019, DOC Douro, Lua Cheia-Saven, ľlhavo, Portugal, $14.95, 750 mL, 13.5%. Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 266882, RKS Wine Rating 87/100).

“Travels to a Different Time” : September 1988: Sosua, Dominican Republic: The Restaurant Scene

Most of the restaurants are in the town of Sosua. If there is any “formal dining” it would be in a few of the hotels. Amigo’s was quite good with excellent seafood. Newosol also has excellent seafood. Marco Polo’s has superb Tiberon and a dynamite creole octopus stew. Then there is the iconic Woody’s with the best grilled chicken I have had and the chicken I am sure is local and free range. At our Playa Chiquita Hotel there is piano bar called Pappy’s. An older black American plays the piano at cocktail hour. Pappy has a dozen children and is married to a local. With so many children it is no surprise they call him Pappy!

The Future of Sosua

For the time being Sosua is just starting to develop and give it a few more years and it will lose it rural charm and be a hot destination for budget travellers. Get ready for high rises and all you can eat buffets. Given the warm and clear waters, the hot climate blessed by a refreshing breeze, cheap alcohol and food and friendly people this quiet town is heading for mega development. As for Montezuma’s revenge aside from some questionable shrimp I escaped that scourge. In the room above me one night a German couple was puking and running to the toilet for hours with lots of moans, gas and vomit. Stay away from the raw veggies.

“Travels to a Different Time” : September 1988: Sosua, Dominican Republic: Sosua’s Famous Beach

The beach is highly recommended by a few gringos I have encountered. It is home to too many vendors hawking trinkets of coral, amber and onyx not to mention all sorts of food, beer and cheap mass-produced junk. Express any sort of interest in anything and you are immediately besieged by corny lines such as “Name your price, wholesale liquidation prices. Best prices in town.” Most are not willing to bargain. The beach touted by so many as fantastic is mediocre and the sand is not clean littered with garbage and seaweed. Our hotel beach is tiny in comparison but superior.

RKS Film: “Nude Tuesday”: The Film That Could Have Easily Been a Different Film

“Nude Tuesday” is a film that is completely gibberish! But you may be guaranteed a constant smile from a film that borders on the absurd. Cut out the subtitles from gibberish to English and replace them with a new set of subtitles and you could be watching a different film. You see the dialogue and the nine songs in it are in gibberish. Gibberish is nothing but a steam of words and sounds that make no sense because gibberish is not a language. Yet Julia Davis crafted subtitles based on the gibberish laden movie.  The result is a movie that makes total sense although it could have been a totally different film and a plausible one with many possible subtitles.

If there is any absurdity it is developed through the subtitles. Some of the subtitles contribute to the hilarity of the film while others make perfect sense. The soundtrack in gibberish highlights the film’s streak of absurdity.

While almost all the fun is wondering how the subtitles suit particular scenes watching the actors babbling away is also a source of merriment.

Laura (Jackie Van Beek) and Bruno (Damon Herriman) are a middle-aged suburban couple in a drifting and crumbling marriage that as mother-in-law notes is “lacking a rumble in the jungle”. The feisty old bird gives Laura and Bruno a gift certificate to “Wonderla Retreat” a sexual rejuvenation retreat in the beautiful New Zealand mountains. It is a zany place full of odd stereotypical couples. Bjorg Rasmussen (Jemaine Clement) is the eccentric spooner of palaver and his latest book is the “Toothy Vulva”.

In the midst of frothy pandemonium which viciously cuts through the Tony Robbins method somehow Laura and Bruno snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Yes the subtitles turn the film into a lampooning of self help gurus who have answers to mend the trainwrecks of life.

Welcome to the “Gibberish Genre”. Give us a Gibberish film and let us create! Get your “tingly” tingling!

“Nude Tuesday” screens virtually at the New York Tribeca Film Festival on June 11th. If you wish to purchase the film contact Cornerstone Films for further details https://cornerstonefilm.com/

Feel free to check out the trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoRFDK6iI-g .

Written by Jackie Van Beek and directed by Armağan Ballantyne.

RKS Film Rating 89/100.

RKS Wine: A Red Wine Clunker from Tejo in Portugal: Memories of Mahatma Gandhi

When I saw this wine called Babu from the Tejo in Portugal it invoked memories of Gandhi. Gandhi had a nickname of Bapu which is so close to Babu. While not an exact match with Babu it is close enough to trigger a smile and toast to the great Indian statesman. The Portuguese set up a settlement in Goa in present day India in 1510 and there they remained until driven out by Indian forces in 1961.

The Babu is a red blend of Alicante Bouschet and Touriga Nacional.

The palate is indicative of a red wine a little long on the tooth. Roger Voss of Wine Enthusiast gave it a 92 when he tried it over two years ago. Unfortunately, it bears the hallmarks of a red wine on the decline. Prune, coffee and juice in its last throes. On the palate notes of molasses, burnt rubber, cement and cherries sitting on the counter for two days. Who on earth bought this wine or agreed to put it on the shelves of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario?

You know I read an article about wine writing by a wine writer that prattled about integrity of wine writers yet in the same breath stated he rarely releases reviews about clunker wines. My view is that a rogue wine deserves to be shouted down to have purchasers start thinking about caveat emptor. Again how did this burnt out wine reach the shelves of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario? It strikes me this is a conspiracy! The LCBO as ultimate purchaser, the winery with its reputation on the line and the agent that brought into the LCBO. But my finger points to the LCBO as they decide what goes on their shelves and is sold to the public. Tsk Tsk!

I would suggest you not purchase but if you have a retailer with decent return policies buy, have a glass and see what spent wine tastes like and then return it.

(Babu Reserva 2018, Vinho Regional Tejo, Fiuza & Bright, Portugal, $14.95, 750 mL, 13.5%, Liquor Control Board of Ontario # 617175, RKS Wine Rating Purchase at Your Own Risk)