“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: WHAT A SEVEN-MONTH-OLD WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER HAS LEARNT FROM DONALD TRUMP AND WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO ABOUT IT

WHAT A SEVEN-MONTH-OLD WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER HAS LEARNT FROM DONALD TRUMP AND WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO ABOUT IT

I could describe in a book what I have learnt from President Donald J. Trump. It would not be classified as intellectual. Behavioural might be a more appropriate word.

It would serve no purpose to mention lying, overstating, exaggerating, shallowness, stupidity, delusional and total ignorance about economics.

I have learnt that President Trump is all about him clouded in a delusional fog. He knows how to deal eh?  How many times has he declared bankruptcy cheating hard working Americans out of money his companies owe them! Does Make America Great Again hearken to cheating people?

To change the topic quickly before I am detained at the U.S. border smuggling kibble into New York State an activity Canadians regularly undertake to corrupt innocent American canines I am revising my approach to avoid you saying this book is all about me to include stories about our neighbourhood community.

My first story will be about a murder down the street. No need to call ICE or the National Guard though!

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: WE PUPPIES MUST BE BILINGUAL! WHAT IS CAINENGLISH?

WE PUPPIES MUST BE BILINGUAL! WHAT IS CAINENGLISH?

I understand English rather well. Some canine experts oh and ah about the 500 words dogs can master. Balderdash! I have picked up the language rapidly through overhearing humans talking on television and in conversations.

Despite English language proficiency humans underestimate puppy comprehension. Frequently they revert to a stratum of the English language directed towards us canines. I call it Caineenglish or in its long version Canine English.

Sort of a pidgin English if you prefer. Delivered in an exaggerated tone, simplified and with reduced words. COME. COME NOW. Wanna go for a walk? WALK! Kibby (for kibble). BATH. SLEEP. CRATE. There can be different tonalities such as a polite COME. An urgent COME. An angry COME.

One could easily be offended spoken to like some inmate in a federal prison but we are often easy going us puppies and most of us find it simply silly!

READ! KEEP READING! READ NOW!

Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom: MORE TALKING THAN WALKING TODAY!

MORE TALKING THAN WALKING TODAY!

I enjoy a good long walk but I like it more when Bob meets another dog owner and talks. This gives me the opportunity to play with the talker’s dog. What could be better! Today there were seven talks on three walks and that must be a record. I played so much by the time I met Billy at 18:00 I could only jump, hop around, smell and lick for a few minutes.

The warmer weather is a catalyst for longer conversations. Who wants to stand around and yak when it is minus 17 with a windchill factor of minus 25!

Bob says walking a dog invariably creates a sense of community. We really know the nitty gritty and neighbourhood reality. Who likes dogs. Who hates dogs. Who tolerates dogs. Who died. Who is ill. Who is on vacation. What houses are selling for. Politics. Gossip. We see people coming and going sort of a friendly security operation. This includes eyeing who shouldn’t be in our hood. Dog owners have eyes and ears and knowledge the dogless people lack.

My bestie, Golden Lab Jasper, is usually out at 23:15 or so. My day is not done. Jasper’s owner offered Bob some Blue Jay baseball tickets to see the Los Angeles Dodgers next week.

I hear a few mutterings from Bob about “the idiot drivers” he sees speeding and not stopping at stop signs. And the garbage those rude construction workers throw on the road. McDonald’s bags and the like. The slovenly side of humanity!

RKS Literature: The Train Ride from London to Clapham Common: Through the Suburban Stench (Henry Mayhew)

“ Now we get a whiff of the gutta-percha works; then comes a faint gust from some floor-cloth shed; next we dash through an odoriferous belt of bone-boiling atmosphere; and after that through a film of fetor rank with the fumes from the glazing of potteries; whereupon this is followed by bands of nauseous vapours from decomposing hides and horses’ hoofs, resin and whiting works; and the next instant these give place to layer after layer of sickening exhalations from gas-factories, and soap boiling establishments, and candle companies; so we are thus led by the nose along a chromatic scale, as it were, of the strong suburban stenches that encompass, in positive rings of nausea, the great cathedral dome of the Metropolis, like the phosphoric glory environing the head of some renowned Catholic saint.”

Henry Mayhew (b1812d1887) “A Train to Clapham Common”.

RKS Literature: A Fearless Man May be the Most Dangerous Man (Herman Melville)

‘I will have no man in my boat’ said Starbuck, ‘who is not afraid of a whale.’ By this, he seemed to mean, not only that the most reliable and useful courage was that which arises from the fair estimation of the encountered peril, but that an utterly fearless man is a far more dangerous comrade than a coward.”

Herman Melville, “Moby Dick”, 1851.

RKS Literature: A Disgusting and Immoral Performance at a London Penny Gaff (Henry Mayhew)

“There was one scene yet to come that was perfect in its wickedness. A ballet began with a man dressed up as a woman, and a country clown. The most disgusting attitudes were struck, the most immoral acts represented, without one dissenting voice. If there had been any feat of agility, any grimacing, or, in fact, anything with which the laughter of the uneducated classes is usually associated, the applause might have been accounted for: but here were two ruffians degrading themselves each time they stirred a limb, and forcing into the brains of the childish audience before them thoughts that must embitter a lifetime, and descend from father to child like some bodily infirmity.

The most obscene thoughts, the most disgusting scenes were cooly described, making a poor child near me wipe away the tears that rolled down her eyes with the enjoyment of the poison.”

Henry Mayhew (b1812d1887) “Of the Penny Gaff”.

RKS Literature: The Scramble for a Living in London’s Street Markets (Henry Mayhew)

“Each salesman tries his utmost to sell his wares, tempting the passers-by with his bargains. The boy with his stock of herbs offers ‘a double ‘andful of fine parsley for a penny;’ the man with a donkey cart filled with turnips has three lads to shout for him to their utmost with their ‘ Ho! Ho! Hi-i-hi. What do you think of this here? A penny a bunch-hurrah for free trade! Here’s your turnips!’. Until it is seen and heard, we have no sense of the scramble that is going on in London for a living”

Henry Mayhew (b1812d 1887) “The London Street Market on a Saturday Night”.

RKS  2026 Film: “Holy Days”: Raunchy Roman Catholic Nuns’ Road Trip?

Sister Agnes (Judy Davis), Sister Luke (Miriam Margolyes) and Sister Marie Claire (Jacki Weaver) are in1974 New Zealand the sole remaining nuns at Sister Suzanne’s currently serving a lesser purpose caring for orphans and abandoned children once undertaken 5 decades earlier. There is no remaining clientele.

The new archbishop and Father Findlay (Jonny Brugh), the callous and crude priest at Sister Suzanne’s, are scheming to sell the site of Sister Suzanne’s to a developer but must have the sisters “abandon” the property to enable title to pass to the Roman Catholic church who would then be legally permitted to sell it to the developer. The three sisters get wind of the development plot which includes putting them “out to pasture” and quickly depart to South Island to seek the deed granting them ownership held by a former nun, Patricia now a lawyer. The writers of the film certainly failed to convince me, one who has practiced common law property, of the validity of this part of plot. But this is a movie not a law school class.

In a “Thelma and Louise” spirit off the nun’s journey on a road trip to South Island and back to the convent to defeat the evil archbishop, developer and the boozing, gambling and thoroughly nasty Father Findlay.

They take poor sad motherless young Māori boy Brian (Elijah Tamati) who in a grief, stricken fashion has turned into an enfant terrible. He cherishes a snow globe of Tapuna Maunga an ancestral Māori mountain which is the stepping stone into the afterlife and where he may find his deceased mother.

Too much detail here so let’s switch to the nuns being hip, wholesome and loving despite the fact they bribe police with cash and ferry operators with spirit laden fruitcake. They dance, drink, smoke (was that weed?) and lie in a humorous fashion. They quote scripture and hackneyed biblical phrases. Dentures fly. Booming farts. All have personal tragedies. They are essentially human and we all hope as Canadians the orphanage they were instrumental in operating has no residential school taints to it. Will Canadians including Indigenous victims of residential schools share any humour generated in the film? Are Canadians ready for this “nun fantasy”?  Is this film insulting and shallow for Canada’s Indigenous population?

What I will say a rather unique perspective on nuns unlike what you may be accustomed to in “Raisin in the Sun”, “Black Narcissus” or “The Singing Nun” but not quite as daring as the nuns in “One Battle After Another”.

A professional Canadian-New Zealand production. Spot on acting by Davis, Margolyes, Weaver and Brugh although the writing around his character and much of the movie is weak.

RKS 2026 Film Rating 67/100.

Currently in theatrical release in Canada.

RKS 2026 ONTARIO Wine: leaning post’s Cuvée Winona from Niagara, Ontario

80% Merlot. 19% Cabernet Franc and 1% Cabernet Sauvignon.

680 cases were produced.

Aroma: Plummy. Red cherry. Raspberry. Strawberry. Rhubarb.

Palate: Merlotish (if such a word exists). Smoky and lush. Bring on Sammy Davis and Peter Lawford at The Sands in a smoky bar (such bars no longer exist). Loads of red cherry. Mid weight. Discrete acidity and tame tannins.

Personality: The Senchuk’s obviously have the skills and passion to “manage” Niagara Merlot and that says a lot about them!

Food Match: Lac Brome duck breast with a cherry Port reduction sauce.

Cellarbility: Showing some brickish orange on the rim. Best consume in 2026.

Price: $29 CDN.

RKS 2026 ONTARIO WINE Rating: 91/100. Tasted 28March2026.

(leaning post Cuvée Winona 2021, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Leaning Post Wines, Stoney Creek, Ontario, 750 mL 13%).

RKS Poetry Anthology (All We Get Are The Coffee Grinds): Will you kindly SHUT UP (COVID MEMORIES)

Will you kindly SHUT UP (COVID MEMORIES)

Living the COVID imprisoned life hardly pleasant

With too many thinking these bloody medicos turning statisticians are heaven sent

But incessant “public service messaging” is making one’s mind bent

Threatening if we do not obey we will all be deceased by Lent

This public service chattering verging on irrelevant and boring

Dear governments what advertising agency are you whoring?

“we are all in this together” the telescreen burbles

Patriotic mumbling

Get the Blue Angels flying overhead streaming the red, white and blue

Your creativity and compassion has long been dead

As you run the gruesome numbers

Causing lulling and the slumbers

Messages treating us like goat bleating fools

Better you lecture mules

With a stream of incessant rules

You think you are on the side of some sort of divine right

I am going to say FU and throw a big house party tonight

Not so sure if the next-door neighbours are COVID snitches

Causing the COVID police to come and cart me away

A big fine I’ll pay

And you cruel heartless number crunchers will smile at the yahoo you caught

Putting a terrifying upward movement on your graph

As me and the Proud Boys and the Freedom convoy truckers will laugh

Robert K. Stephen