Given the conflagration occurring in the Middle East with missiles and drones flying here and there one might say there was militarism in the air or at least on the CNN/FOX/CBC airwaves. My goodness even the Grand Pouba fell as a martyr in the heat of the moment but was no doubt dancing with the Seven Virgins as the Iranian population danced in the streets to his send off.

I had received an invitation into a secret society, a tiny fragment of THE LEAF NATION just down the street.

THE LEAF NATION refers to fans of the National Hockey League team the Toronto Maple Leafs. From whence emanated this term?  No doubt some marketing firm hired by a television network to create an illusion of the presence and power of a “national organization” dedicated to the love and awe of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team. How can THE LEAF NATION be a national organization of Canadians when Vancouver, Calgary, Winnipeg, Ottawa and Montreal also have National League Hockey teams?

I was raised in Montreal at a time when the Montreal Canadiens of the National Hockey League were an awesome professional sports team winning Stanley Cups on a regular basis. They have won 24 Stanley Cups in their franchise history. The Toronto Maple Leafs have won 13 and the last one in 1967. Montreal’s last Stanley Cup was in 1993. Needless to say although I rarely watch hockey these days my need for Montreal to excel and the Toronto Maple Leafs to fail is deeply ingrained in my genetics and psychological makeup. A bit like OCD. I can’t stop myself!

The Toronto Maple Leafs have been sputtering about since 1967 and The Montreal Canadiens since 1993 but this year their team looks like a Stanley Cup contender whereas at best in “On the Waterfront” fashion the Toronto Maple Leafs must be croaking in a Marlon Brando fashion, “ I coudda been a contender”. The Toronto Maple Leafs are sinking in an embarrassing quicksand unlikely to make the playoffs. One sports commentator said a couple of weeks ago in the past few years the Toronto Maple Leafs were the team being chased now they are chasing. Given their 4^th straight loss last night they have descended for a race to the basement in the standings. Their legs have given out.

So I begin musing as I walk to the ground zero of my invitation during a regional “conflict”. I feel akin to Martin Sheen in “Apocalypse Now” cruising up the Mekong for a final termination of Colonel Kurtz. I am heading into “enemy territory” and query if the three gentlemen attending are to welcome me in an “Eyes Wide Shut” fashion? Or are they wild Montagnards?

Thank goodness none of the three gentlemen attending are in robes holding candles. There is no attempt to conceal their identities. PHEW!

There is a fellow named K2 who claims to be married to Barbie but this is unverifiable. The G is a former Canadian Football League Grey Cup champion. K is our host a man knowing more about cheese than the entire LEAF NATION!

G and K2 are sporting Toronto Maple Leaf paraphernalia and K2 has an enormous mug with a Toronto Maple Leafs logo on it. K is neutral wearing a CANADA hoodie.

As for a foamy beverage I could have selected a Molson Export, the Molson Brewery heavily involved with the Montreal Canadiens, but play it safe and open a Mexican Modelo. All these guys are dentists and if I misbehave and criticize the Toronto Maple Leafs will I be held hostage for a retributory root canal?

As the fireplace spreads its cheerful glow the Toronto Maple Leafs are soiling themselves being outplayed and outshot by the Ottawa Senators.

Wait a minute! The members of THE LEAF NATION are making some disparaging and sarcastic comments about their beloved Toronto Maple Leafs. A consensus develops they will not be in the playoffs this year. WHAT AM I HEARING! THE LEAF NATION, like Austin Mathews, without Mitch Marner (unwisely traded by the Toronto Maple Leafs) is showing serious foundational damage. Am I dealing with a rebel faction of THE LEAF NATION where watching FOX News reporting of the Iranian conflict takes precedence over the third period?

Silly me as I walk home down the street. There is no LEAF NATION. The statistics and my evening verify this. THE LEAF NATION is but a dream and if any remnants remain, they will soon realize watching and cheering for the Montreal Canadiens is the more humane and realistic path forward.

I no longer feel like Martin Sheen but more like Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu ministering to some victims of THE LEAF NATION!