RKS Literature: Clean Fat and Skinny Sloppy (Wally Lamb)

“Fat slob this, fat slob that. You hear that all the time. You’re like me: a clean fat. I could tell that right off. Why do you think I let you stay here?….I see it all the time. The dirtiest, sloppiest girls are the skinny ones. Year after year, the same thing. You can tell who the pigs are going to be just by looking at them. You take Jackie Kennedy. Or Jackie whatever her name is now. I bet you in person she’s a very sloppy person. I bet you any amount of money.”

Wally Lamb, “She’s Come Undone”, 1992.

American Border Communities Feeling the Momentum of Canadian Wounding by the Trump Administration

American tourist sites proximate to the Canadian border, whether it be Old Orchard Beach in Maine or northern New York State both of which are proximate to the Quebec-Canadian border, and heavily reliant on Canadian tourism, are feeling the decline both actual and potential in Canadian tourism and face severe challenges in the summer make or break profitable months in attracting Canadian visits despite decades of loyal cadres of Canadian tourists.

The reason?

The weak Canadian dollar with an official rate of 70 cents to the American dollar. Historically a weaker than American dollar, with rare and limited exceptions, has always been the norm.

Erratic threats of punitive tariffs levied against Canada by the Trump administration in violation of existing Canadian-American trade treaties coupled with aggressive derogatory Trumpian comments about Canada becoming the 51st state, about former Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau being appointed as the Governor of Canada, about Canada being a nasty trade partner and Canada as the land of the igloo people have raised the ire (to put that mildly) of Canadians. Canadians are generally reserved and polite so imagine them booing the American national anthem at sporting events with American teams visiting Canada is indicative of a deep wounding of the Canadian psyche.

The North Country Chamber of Commerce in Plattsburg, New York expressed its concern about declining Canadian visitation as follows on 27March2025:

Canadian visitors have long been a cornerstone of our local economy. Whether they’re vacationing, shopping, dining, or accessing services, our Quebec friends support businesses of all kinds—not just those in tourism.

Canadian visitation dropped 16% in February, driven by a weak exchange rate, new tariffs, and shifting political perceptions. A recent poll even found that over a quarter of Quebecers now view the U.S. unfavorably, and more than 40% of Canadian group tours have been canceled.

To help, the Adirondack Coast team has developed bilingual signage for use across all types of businesses. Whether you run a store, an office, or a service-based business, we’re asking you to join us in creating a consistent, region-wide message of welcome.

𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 & 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿: https://bit.ly/4iIiAZM
𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀: https://bit.ly/42aIG0y


Man With “Men in Tights Syndrome” Subjected to The Nutcracker Protocol Therapy

I recently spoke with renowned psychiatrist Dr. Kainik Zlatco of Zagreb University currently heading an international consortium of behavioral psychiatrists preparing a major study of men suffering from “men in tights syndrome”.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness “men in tights syndrome” (MITS) is defined as follows:

“An irrational fear of men ballet dancers (ballerinos) wearing skintight “dancing pants” accentuating male body parts. Secondary mental infections may be triggered by ballerinos constantly tiptoeing across the stage in pink costuming.”

Dr. Zlatco emphasized MITs should always be distinguished from tight pants syndrome meralgia paresthetica.

Dr. Zlatco remarked this phobia has prevented many men from attending ballet performances depriving them of an art form ultimately reducing cortisol levels and addressing the “flee or flight” at the heart of MITs. Dr. Zlatco stated,” We have tried many types of psychiatric medicines but without measurable success. Anti-depressants have had some limited successes but on the most part have caused severe digestive issues on patients in test settings. we do now at this point cabbage soup is to avoided at all costs.”

Dr. Zlatco explained the causes of MITs are not fully understood but at the root of many cases of MIT is an irrational fear of “emasculation”. For some reason many men are threatened by audience adulation of ballerinos who represent less than perceived manliness. “As usual” the ego of sufferers is “strangled” by mothers.

Dr. Zlatco took a MITS sufferer to a performance of “The Nutcracker” at a Toronto venue last night presented by The Dubious Dance Company. The attendance of the MIT patient was preceded by many taped sessions of ballet performances accompanied by medicinal mushrooms not the kind you make omelets with said Dr. Zlatco.

Dr. Zlatco mused that at the core of MITs is the pure trauma of confronting men in tights so the strategy has been “diversionary” as the more you focus on the spectacle, namely the music and the sets, the more you divert the trauma. Once the brain has been so diverted the next step is have the MITs sufferer focus on the athleticism of the dancers. As a coup de grace we conquer the fear of men in tights by emphasizing those big, rough and hulking brutes playing professional football wear tights!

Dr. Zlatco turned to me after the crowd’s massive round of applause with a rather large smile on his face saying, “A remarkable performance. Fluid and artistically beautiful costumes and choreography. The sets were outstanding. Now can our MITs sufferer be considered cured? This would be a premature conclusion. The real test may be further attendance at subsequent ballet performances where lavish costuming and sets may not be the norm. I may name this “cure” The Nutcracker Protocol.”

The MITs sufferer was last seen leaving the performance hall clutching a Nutcracker and heading to the Toronto Transit Commission subway stop on King Street with a very contented smile on his face.

Should you or anyone you know is suffering from MITs further ballet performances may be required. Check them out at your local ballet company’s website.

Dr. Zlatco is looking for volunteers to participate is his study of “baritone blues” affecting certain audience members at operatic performances.

RKS Literature: Somewhat of a Downward Slide in Life (Wally Lamb)

“Things had gone sharply downhill from the Port Authority bus terminal in New York when a hunchbacked old man had hobbled down the entire aisle, coming to rest with a sigh on the backseat next to me. From New York to Philadelphia, I sat yanking at Ma’s trench coat around me as he blew his nose and nibbled food from an oil spotted paper bag. I spent three hours on the same chapter of Valley of the Dolls, worrying that his garlic breath would seep into the fabric of Ma’s coat-that Kippy would smell his breath and think it was me.”

Wally Lamb, “She’s Come Undone”, 1992.

Vermont Terrorists Vandalize Tesla Dealership in Burlington, Vermont: Spoof News Services: South Hero, Vermont: 28March2025

Spoof has learnt a group of “terrorists” named The Green Mountain Boys attended a Tesla Dealership in Burlington, Vermont pouring Vermont maple syrup and nightcrawler earth over the shiny new Muskmobiles. Some vehicles had “11th Province” scrawled with lipstick on their windshields.

Sources close to Spoof say The Green Mountain Boys are Vermont successionists advocating Vermont becoming the 11th province of Canada.

Raids conducted by the Vermont National Guard at Tudhope’s Marina in North Hero, Vermont, The Alburg Golf and Country Club in Alburg, Vermont and a clandestine “compound” on Butler’s Island on Lake Champlain in the North Hero vicinity resulted in the seizure of 67 cases of Ontario and Quebec craft beer, 430 cans of Tim Horton’s coffee beans, 8 season’s tickets to Toronto Blue Jays baseball games and 43 pounds of peameal bacon. Numerous posters of hockey star Wayne Gretzky were found with an X written over Wayne’s beaming face while cuddling up to Republican politicians reading, “Stay in L.A. where you belong!”

A huge cache of Canadian flags was unearthed on Seagull Island proximate to Butler’s Island.

The Prime Minister of Canada Mike Carnut received an irate call from the White House displeased with yet unverified Canadian support for the “terrorists”. Carnut quipped, “We really really need Vermont as part of our country. The governor of Vermont would make an excellent mayor for our 11th province. We damn well need that Vermont maple syrup and cheddar cheese to make Canada Great Again!”

Just prior to publication rumors swirl in Washington about a trade which would have Alberta become the 51st state while Vermont becomes the 11th province of Canada.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: Peller Estates Private Reserve 2021 Meritage

From the Niagara region in Ontario, Canada we try a Peller Estates Private Reserve 2021 Meritage a blend of Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot.

Aroma: Black cherry, blackberry, cassis with a strong black currant swirl.

Palate: The black currant continues to express itself as the predominant influence. Grippy tannins. Short brackish finish.

Personality: Big, tough and a bit rough on the edges like downtown Niagara Falls.

Food Match: A burger from the Flying Saucer Restaurant in Niagara Falls.

Cellarbility: Might continue to develop but don’t risk beyond 2027.

Price: $ 30 CDN.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 91/100. Wine Align Community Score 89.

(Peller Estates Private Reserve Meritage 2021, VQA Niagara-on-the-Lake, Peller Estates, Niagara-on-the-Lake, 750 mL, 13%).

Crazy8s: “The Reveal”: Sweet, Tender and Compassionate Sewn Nicely Together with a Chuckle: A Comedic Fairy Tale?

“The Reveal” if I may remark in a cheesy way using a word my Grade One teacher drilled in our young noggins never to write in a sentence is nice. It is also sweet, tender, compassionate and at times humorous. It operates in a dual universe of two different reveals.

The reveal is an event making Stevie a non-binary stand-up comedian (Emilee Nimentz) racked with anxiety as she is transitioning to a he commencing with testosterone injections. Stevie is “coming out!” a second time. The first was announcing she was a lesbian. (Man, these categories and pronouns are making me confused and probably guilty of misstatements just like Stevie’s father. Take your audience members and film critics as you find them please as their reality may be he and she).

Stevie’s sister Kate is hosting a baby reveal party where she and her partner Curtis will announce the gender of their soon to be born baby. What a time to announce to Stevie’s family she is transitioning.

The result is warm and fuzzy. Embraces and smiles. A fairy tale? Who knows but this is the movies so smile and enjoy the happy vibes. The stand-up comedy adds a degree of innovation to the short and is outrageously enjoyable.

You watch trailer here https://crazy8s.film/films/the-reveal/

Directed and written by Jackie Hoffart.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Short Film Rating 83/100.

The Crazy8s Film Society is pleased to announce that this year’s host for their annual filmmaking challenge is award-winning Indigenous actress and director Grace Dove. The highly anticipated Crazy8s Gala event will take place at The Centre in Vancouver on March 29, 2025, with a star-studded afterparty at Science World. Crazy8s is an 8-day short filmmaking challenge and program that provides support and funding to six emerging filmmakers to produce a short film and then showcase it at the Gala.

Strange Afflictions Besiege White House in Washington: Sanaa, Yemen: Spoof Health News Services: 26March2025

Spoof reports a possible epidemic is sweeping Washington afflicting members of the Republican Party.

Dr. Gooey Gupta, prominent celebrity physician, speaking to The Association of Media Loving Physicians addressed the audience remarking, “I find it difficult to speak with confidence about what I am to tell you as the Centre for Disease Control is on its way to elimination and there is no independent data on health issues affecting Americans to be had. I had attempted to speak with the Secretary of Health but was unavailable being busy  watching “Curb Your Enthusiasm “ reruns.

The United States population, and for that matter the global population, is suffering from Trumpgression and Muskosis. This is a severe psychiatric situation and attempts to develop a vaccine have been unsuccessful. The only possible cure is to ensure DJT fails in his attempt to “secure” a third term in office which apparently Steve Bunions is “working on”.

A new health issue is affecting many American politicians in Washington somewhat akin to Tourettes Syndrome almost exclusively affecting Republican politicians. When asked their views on matters that could lead to critical thoughts about their leadership they involuntarily shout not obscenities but rather, “Liar! Sleazebag! False news!”

A secondary symptom would be “Denialosis” where possible “true facts” are hotly denied by a process of denigration of any bearer of possible “true facts”.

Spoof notes that Dr. Gupta was booed off the stage with cries of, “Liar! Sleazebag”. The prior speaker had been discussing massive income tax cuts promised by the current Administration for American physicians.

Spoof is hot on this story and will update you with emerging details as they become known.

RKS 2025 Film: “Misericordia”: Anger, Violence, Guilt and Lustcentric Blind Eyes

Jérémie Pastor (Félix Kysyl), an unemployed baker from Toulouse, returns to his native country village to attend the funeral of his former boss and town baker J.P. Rigal. A one-night stay at widower Martine Rigal’s (Catherine Frot) extends itself to no set date.

Vincent Rigal (Jean-Baptiste Durand) expresses hostility then violence towards Pastor thinking he wants to cozy up with Martine his mother so he can then sleep with her. At one point fighting with Pastor he knocks him to the ground saying leave this town or else. Pastor then retaliates to the point it would appear there is an uneasy stalemate.

Pastor makes some sexual moves on grubby and obese Walter (David Ayala) infuriating Walter who chases him out of his house shooting a rifle in the escaping Pastor’s direction.

Amidst this aggression and violence a murder (or perhaps an act of self-defence) is committed and the body buried in the forest.

Guess who’s coming to dinner!

The facts gradually point to who the murderer is but due to heavy currents of hetro and homo lust swirling about the obvious truth pointing to the killer the obvious is ignored in blind eye fashion. A bizarre philosophical and lustful abbey (Jacques Develay) adds to the complications.  Martine is shyly lustful. Pastor is lustful. Walter is lustful pretending not to be. The gendarmes are lustful and diabolical not sexually but in hot pursuit of the killer. Vincent is not lustful but fatally hot headed. The killer is racked by Raskolnikovian guilt and ready to jump off a cliff overlooking a beautiful autumnal forest he is saved by godly lust!

In Misericordia does lust foster sets of blind eyes? It seems so. Forget the whodunit in the film as we viewers already know the identity of the murderer.

This film by Alain Guiraudie nominated for 7 César Awards including best film and best director.

Joint French/Spanish/Portuguese production.

You can watch the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wk2SgBIoF4

Theatrical release of the film commences in Canada 28March2025.

RKS 2025 Film Rating 72/100.

RKS Wine: Moving Beyond The Great American Pull to Develop the Canadian Wine Industry

One result of Trumpian aggression towards Canada has been The Great American Pull removing American alcohol products from Canadian liquor stores. A quasi Nouveau Prohibition.

Patriotic Canadians can clap, cheer and make a “sacrifice” foregoing Californian wine foistered upon them by profit driven liquor control boards luxuriating in easy profits from customers they have historically indoctrinated by offering shelves loaded with Californian, Oregonian and Washington State wines.

Looking at the Vintages shelves in a Liquor Control Board of Ontario store even in those proudly bearing the moniker “flagship store” Ontario wines are dwarfed by ex-Canadian wines. Despite wobbly and insincere statements about promoting Ontario wines the truth is ex-Canada rules! Even Ontario wines suffer from Niagara imperialism crowding out Prince Edward County and Lake Erie North Shore wines. Where are the wines from Nova Scotia, British Columbia and Quebec?

How then to promote Canadian wines given this golden opportunity to seize the moment and truly foster Canadian wineries?

Much talk exists about removing the barriers of interprovincial trade that has had the SAQ in Quebec and the LCBO stomping their feet like angry toddlers where interprovincial orders by customers are placed. Courier companies threatened when they deliver such orders. Let’s get working on reducing interprovincial barriers to trade. No need to arrest that poor fellow bringing in a couple of cases of beer purchased in Quebec across the New Brunswick-Quebec border!

Geez! Given there is no Muskian DOGE movement to “rationalize” provincial liquor monopolies can we expect some pedal to the metal action by Canadian federal political parties developing platforms for the upcoming 28April2025 Canadian federal election?

Should any of these parties form the next Canadian government what positive steps are promised to promote Canadian wines?  I have asked the Liberal party, the Conservative party and the New Democratic party their plans to promote Canadian wine in their electoral platforms. No reply yet. Will I wait until hell freezes over?

My interactions with wineries in Ontario and British Columbia point to a near total lack of a provincial or federal wine promotion budget.

I was invited to attend the first Wine and Travel Week Conference in Porto in 2023. Various wine producing associations, wineries and tourism boards were present to promote their products, regions, wine routes and touristic sites. Gala dinners with Michelin starred restaurants. Presentations. Individual one on one meetings. Three days of travel to visit wineries, gastronomic and touristic sites in one of 6 Portuguese wine producing areas. In the exhibition area with the “vendors” not a bottle of wine in sight. The focus was on wine tourism.

Wine tourism does not consist of drawing visitors to wineries as face it how many wineries can you visit. At some point, cellars, tasting rooms, merchandise and tours are repetitive. In the wine tourism concept the goal is a total package consisting of the winery, gastronomy and touristic sites.

Many Canadian wineries are aware of the concept of wine tourism. They strive to bring “wine tourists” for more than the basic winery type tour/offerings to include accommodation, music, movies in the vineyard, yoga and cooking classes.

The European Union has a huge wine tourism budget that includes bringing international media and tour operators on a FAM (no cost) basis to visit wineries, nearby tourist sites and restaurants in the wine region to promote the region as a package. Each component of the package feeds off each other in a symbiotic relationship.

Isn’t it time for some governmental money, be it municipal, provincial or federal to promote Canadian wine tourism? Shouldn’t tourism boards, chambers of commerce, restaurants and wineries take an integrated as approached to a siloed approach?

Bring Canadian and foreign journalists to various Canadian wine producing regions to showcase wineries, tourist sights and local gastronomy. Canadian wine regions have more to offer than musty smells, tasting rooms and eateries as they have an entire geographic area that should have international appeal.

I was embarrassed at this Wine and Travel Week event I attended when several people asked why Canada and/or its wine regions was not present. What could I say but responding that was an interesting question. The answer is either ignorance or lack of money most likely more of the latter.

Those who care about the Canadian economy to which Canadian wineries contribute to in spin off benefits, wages and taxes should be asking their brave provincial and federal governments their plans to promote Canadian wine tourism that transcend platitudes and provide a well thought out programme and cash. Follow the money!