RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film: “Morningside”: Life, Suffering and Death in Scarborough, Ontario: Classic American Inner-City Drama?

Scarborough is one of those “distant” suburbs of Toronto so far away from Toronto it is sometimes referred to as Scarberia. Not a great reputation among many of us Torontonians. My sole experience with Scarborough is that it is a landmark for me driving home from Montreal on the 401 Highway ironically signalling I am back in Toronto!  

In “Morningside” we have similar issues to black inner city American films but the similarity ends with genre identification. We have the drug dealers, the gun violence and tragic collateral damage to the innocents but all in a truly Canadian fashion if I may label it gritty, rough, honest and highly believable. Ain’t no Hollywood going on here.

Although initially you might conclude there are too many characters and subplots in “Morningside” its slowness is measured and gels into excellence concluding in an overwhelming tragic fashion.

This “oh so Canadian” production has an excellent cast with Ki Ki Hammill as Amber a standout. A splash of brightness and sparkle!

Directed by Ron Dias it has a Canadian theatrical release 21February2025 and a multi theatre release in Detroit 28February2025. RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film Rating 93/100.

Cover Photo Courtesy of The Impact Series.

The Voice of the Golden Age: Animalistic Canadians Engage in Horrible Acts of Anti-American Violence: Plattsburg, New York: 19Febraury2025

Two days ago violence crazed Canadians uselessly opposing becoming the 51st state of our glorious United States smashed up McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets in a Canada wide spasm of anti-Americanism.

Added to the illogical generalized hostility towards the United States the unruly mobs protested the “quarantine” and transportation of Guelph Ontario grade one student, Amy Pickenbobber to United States naval quarantine facilities in Guantanamo Bay. The little Canadian saboteur was no doubt sent by the leader of the igloo people, Pierre Elliot Justin Trudeau, to the Toronto Blue Jays training camp in Dunedin Florida with Ebola virus concealed in her Dr. Pepper can. 3,456 residents of Dunedin and 14 members of the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team including star slugger Happy Guadalajara have died felled by Bluejayosis.

Many of the glazed eye attackers, such eyes no doubt affected by fentanyl so prevalent in Canada, gushed further hatred as a result of what they call the “murder” of Sonny Blister, the President of the Canadian Snowbirds Association at his winter home in Palm Springs California. Police reports call his disappearance a missing persons case with strong suspicions he fled up to the mountains with Maria Jiminez a ultrasound technician at the Palm Springs Eisenhower Centre of Prostate Management. Leads by the Palm Springs Police Department report Jiminez and Blister were seen smooching and cuddling at the Pig and Rooster Restaurant in the late evening hours the day before his disappearance.

In response to this violence the United States Department of Homeland Paranoia has today required all Canadians entering the United States to obtain a special untrustworthy alien visa and is requiring all Canadian residents residing in the United States to register as untrustworthy aliens with local police departments.

Readers should note The Voice of the Golden Age is the successor to the now disbanded and fraud plagued Voice of America. It is privately owned by the Renard Broadcasting Corporation and under contract to the United States Department of Homeland Paranoia.

Spoof News Services: Canadians Now Required to Obtain Visa for Travel in the United States: Washington:19February2025

The United States Department of Homeland Paranoia announced today effective immediately all Canadians travelling to the United States of America will require a special “Untrustworthy Alien Visa CDN-6”. The visa will cost $999USD.

All Canadian residents currently in the United States will be required to register as Untrustworthy Aliens at local police offices.

Minny Xenophobia of Homeland Paranoia stated, “The riotous rampage of Canadian Marxists yesterday attacking McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets in Canada is tantamount to an attack of core Golden Age American values President Trump is instilling in the hearts and souls of Americans. Canadians are untrustworthy and a visa is one way of controlling the poisonous spread of Marxism in the United States by violent Canadians.”

The president of the Canadian Snowbirds, Sonny Blister, residing in Palm Springs California could not be reached for comment. His wife, Plumpy Blister, said he was last seen yesterday heading for his morning climb on the Rancho Mirage Trail 67. His water bottle and blood splattered hat was last seen at a rest station on the trail but no trace of Blister.

Spoof News Services: Anti-Trump/Pro Pickenbobber Riots Sweep Through Canada: Hillier, Ontario: Hostage Negotiations for Canadian First Grader Underway: 19February2025

Thousands of ordinarily polite Canadians took to the streets yesterday denouncing the imperialistic ambitions of American President Donald Trump currently cavorting bare-chested on a magnificent stallion with President Vladimir Putin at the President’s villa on the Black Sea celebrating the partition of Ukraine.

The core of this Canadian fury centred around the detention and kidnapping of Guelph, Ontario’s Amy Pickenbobber by MAGA Patriot Squads on 10February2025 on the allegations she intentionally infected spectators at the Toronto Blue Jays training camp in Dunedin, Florida with the Ebola virus concealed in her can of Dr. Pepper and transported in a cargo plane, The Detainee Express, to Guantanamo Bay for “quarantine”.

Pickenbobber’s status is unknown and requests for updates by Spoof to The United States Department of Homeland Paranoia remain unanswered. Unconfirmed reports received from Spoof sources indicate a hostage exchange is in the works and is currently being negotiated by the Commander of the Guantanamo Bay military facility and the City Manager of Guelph where Pickenbobber will be released in exchange for ownership rights of all spring water in the Municipal Township of Guelph being ceded to the United States.

Canadian “patriots” a term mockingly referring to Trumpian heroes of Sixtember has been adopted by Canadian rioters who smashed windows of McDonald’s Restaurants in major urban areas of Canada and numerous Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets in Surrey British Columbia. In Niagara Falls Canadian patriots demanded all Americans immediately drive back to their home over the bridge.

The Return of the Penniless Pensioner: Chapter 11: A Dictator Grooms America: Take Centre Stage and The Cult of Personality

Once upon a time President Oran Crapaud was a middling entrepreneur specializing in bankruptcy and screwing countless suppliers by pulling the plug on what he had started through declarations of bankruptcy. Whatever he could hawk he did whether it be ties, hotels, golf courses or promoting Miss America contests.

Somehow, he landed a television show: No not a wholesome “Bedtime for Bonzo” but “Humiliation of Your Subordinates” where the United States had the opportunity to witness a cruel and savage man denigrating and humiliating contestants. For some reason the audience lapped up his crudeness perhaps thinking it was an act. Was it really?

Crapaud trademarked bombastic crudeness and never looked back. Eating BBQ dog with North Korean luminaries, insulting anyone that challenged him in any way, inciting mobs to go on destructive rampages, threatening countries with annexation, making outrageous suggestions as to a Kung Flu cure, waving upside down Bibles, having affairs with movie stars, committing criminal acts, making outrageous claims of persecution and so forth and so on. An alien might have called him irrational and politely put “well off centre” but he was in the spotlight and many Americans have an unhealthy obsession for entertainers and he basked in its warm light. Crapaud became a performance artist a real John Wayne of the political world. Bigger than life and worshipped by many and treated as a buffoon by others.

If Crapaud’s goal was to continually frolic in the limelight he certainly accomplished that. Divert the masses with a theatre of the absurd and they wouldn’t have time to realize his cult of personality was simply a smokescreen for his ultimate goal of dictatorship.  The unavoidable reality about Crapaud is that his fame was grounded in negativity.

Spoof News Services: Ebola Virus Threatens Florida: Canadian First Grader at Toronto Blue Jays Training Camp in Dunedin Florida Arrested and Deported to Guantanamo Bay: Dunedin, Florida: 18February2025

Grade one student, Amy Pickenbobber, from Guelph, Ontario was arrested at the ballpark and escorted to the “Deportee Express” Super Galaxy U.S. military cargo plane earlier this week. Pickenbobber was last observed clutching her stuffed animal “Mr. Monkey” shouting, “Mommy, the bastards are taking me!”

Pickenbobber is the youngest child of Horst and Getrude Pickenbobber who were attending the Toronto Blue Jays training camp in Dunedin Florida when several Blue Jays players and fans died writhing in pools of blood they had vomited up. MAGA patriot squads arrested Pickenbobber because as their squadron leader Buzz Wispybeard said, “The little Canuck brat was wearing a Canadian flag on her sweater and on her Barbie knapsack. This is disrespectful to our flag and we suspect she is ground zero for this outbreak. We will quarantine and interrogate her at Guantanamo Bay and get to the bottom of this.”

As Spoof reported on 10February2025 it was the Albanian health authorities that notified the United States of an Ebola outbreak in the Undemocratic Republic of Congo. The Center for Disease Control was in the midst of fraud and corruption “rightsizing” spearheaded by Presidential Superadviser Moron Tusk with no senior management remaining in place to co-ordinate a response to an impending global health threat so the Albanians helped out a friendly neighbour by giving the United States a head’s up.

To date 865 residents of Dunedin have perished in a horrible blood gushing writhing way. The Governor of Florida Ron de Senseless addressed the media and said in part,” This Blue Jayosis reminds me of Kung Flu. Both were thrust upon the United States by foreigners. If Canada was the 51st state it would benefit from the United States health care system and the Pickenbobber brat would not have caused all this fuss. If you or your loved ones are stricken with Blue Jayosis take two aspirin with your Ozempic have a hot bath and go to bed early. There is nothing to worry about.”

Spoof notes that in terms of rankings of national health care systems the United States ranks 37th just below Jamaica.

Spoof News Services: Mysterious Chinese Delegation Appears in Saudi Arabian Talks: Canada, Ukraine and Taiwan are the Christmas Turkey: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia:18February2025

Spoof New Services has unearthed possible devious super power back-room dealings at the supposed Ukraine peace talks in Saudi Arabia today.

Spoof reporters noticed an unmarked airplane arriving at Riyadh International Aerodrome the day prior to the scheduled meeting between Ricky Rubblehead the Secretary of Foreign Affairs of the United States and Urgent Lavratory Foreign Minister of the Russian Federation. Forty-six serious looking “Chinese individuals” departed the unmarked plane and were greeted by the assistant to the assistant of the Grand Secretary of Foreign Affairs of Saudi Arabia.

Subsequent to the arrival of these “Chinese individuals” Spoof contacted the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Saudi Arabia and queried as to whether this was an official delegation from the People’s Republic of China (PRC). The Ministry denied any presence of Chinese governmental officials stating they were “businessmen intending to establish a chain of fast-food Chinese restaurants in the Kingdom “Bok Choy For All”.

Spoof has been contacted by a “whistle-blower” confirming the “Chinese individuals” are an official delegation from the PRC. Spoof’s source indicated there is a distinct possibility Ukraine, Canada and Taiwan will be placed under the “protection” of the United States, Russia and China. The source added consider the situation akin to a Christmas turkey being carved.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: A Pinot Noir from Prince Edward County

We try a 2020 Redtail Pinot Noir from Hubbs Creek Vineyard from Prince Edward County, Ontario aka The County.

Hubbs Creek Vineyard is a small family-owned vineyard planted over 15 years ago in the small town of Hillier, Ontario. The Pinot Noir was aged in Burgundian oak for 18 months.

Aroma: Strawberry, raspberry, red cherry and a sliver of milk chocolate.

Palate: Brick orange on the edges indicates some age. Lightly tannic giving some traction and a moniker of rough elegance. Not effusive with its fruit though. A bit tart. Short finish.

Personality: I like to describe myself as having a rough elegance perhaps the roughness imparted by the stony and calcareous soil lying on a fragmented limestone bedrock.

Food Match: Mushroom Bourguignon.

Cellarbility: Drink by 2027-year end.

Price: $27 CDN.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 90/100. Sara d’Amato 91.

(Redtail 2020 Hubbs Creek Vineyard Pinot Noir, VQA Prince Edward County, Redtail Vineyards Consecon, Ontario, 750 mL, 12.2%).

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film: “Anacoreta”: A Movie About Attempting to Make a Horror Movie

“Anacoreta” is a movie about attempting to make an experimental horror movie. I can’t discern any horror or mockumentary flavour to it. I attended the 65th Annual Thessaloniki International Film Festival in Thessaloniki, Greece in early November 2024 and watched 23 movies and posted reviews on 20 of them in 10 days. Three of the films were about making a movie about making a movie. The standout was Christos Massalas’ “Killerwood”. Its excellence was based on never knowing what was scripted by the director making the film and what was real. A fine line of thrilling uncertainty.

In “Anacoreta” unsuccessful film director Jeremy (Jeremy Schuetze) motors off to his late grandfather’s cabin in the beautiful mountains of British Columbia with actress- girlfriend Antonia (Antonia Thomas), brother Matt (Matt Visser) and his girlfriend Jesse (Jesse Stanley) with a goal of making an experimental horror movie and a cameraman and soundman accompany them.

Jeremy attempts the injection of a mood of horror amongst the “cast” by planting a dead cat in the freezer and the like incurring the displeasure of his brother and the ladies. Given the attempts at fear induction any possible horror appears implausible.

The issue with the film is knowing what is supposedly real is probably scripted. It is a tiresome endeavor trying to make the distinction and should there be any attempt at real horror its genuineness is heavily if not completely discounted by the knowledge the film is about making a film as opposed to a pure horror film.

Another take is “Anacoreta” is a chronicled snapshot and a bickering disaster on the life of an unsuccessful film director who lacks the respect of his brother and their girlfriends. A sad story of a director failing miserably making a horror movie. Hoping not to confuse you may I suggest you watch this snail-paced Canadian film directed by Jeremy Schuetze.

21February2025 VOD/Digital release.

RKS 2025 Canadian Film Rating 59/100.

Spoof News Services: The United States Bans the Sale of Canadian Maple Syrup: Washington: 17February2025

Susan Malaka Secretary of Agriculture of the United States just fresh off a 16February2025 ban of Canadian Ice-wine announced today effective immediately the criminalization of the possession of and trafficking of Canadian maple syrup. American citizens may return any Canadian maple syrup in their possession under the terms of an amnesty also announced today by the Department of Homeland Paranoia.

Ms. Malaka, at a conference of New Golden Age corn farmers in Des Moines Iowa announced the criminalization of possession and even more severe penalties for trafficking of Canadian maple syrup. Malaka stated, “President Trump recently announced he expansion of the American oil and gas production with an inspiring DRILL BABY DRILL. I am following his footsteps and saying CORN SYRUP BABY! The prevalence of corn syrup in American food is making Americans obese and our pharma industry can only strengthen by letting Americans eat and fully enjoy food laced with corn syrup then reducing the resulting obesity with Uh Oh Ozempic!”