The Return of the Penny Pensioner: Chapter 10: A Dictator Grooms America: Consolidate Domestic Power by Sowing Confusion

President Oran Crapaud of the United States of America has a confusion strategy domestically and internationally.

Crapaud slashed and burned Big America Government Bureaucracy (BAGB). Terminate, intimidate and browbeat BAGB reminiscing to the time when Crapaud postulates America was great. Greatness harks back to the time prior to BAGB. Who cares if BAGB was born in the time of Roosevelt’s New Deal a “deal” to neuter a popular uprising by the impoverished and dispossessed. Crapaud, with the intellectual ability that restricts him to reading the back of his favourite cereal box, Breakfast of Champions, fails to realize the harm his slash and burn policy may be the reason for his downfall as a reduction in governmental services may swell discontent. Crapaud is clever enough to have his storm troopers like Moron Tusk to do his dirty work distancing himself from unpleasant results.

For example, “reductions” at the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) restrict the ability of the United States to detect health threats to its citizens. Could this be a contributing reason for the outbreak of Ebola in Dunedin, Florida at the Toronto Blue Jays baseball training camp?

Could the “reductions” at the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) particularly the mass terminations of air traffic controllers have been responsible for the Golden Age Airlines crash at the Burlington Vermont Airport killing all 98 passengers and crew aboard?

Can the dismantling of United States Foreign Aid Agency (USAID) be responsible for the starvation of some 4 million people throughout the globe and the rise to power of despots with an agenda of desperation much of it distinctly anti-American?

And the slash and burn at the CIA, FBI and DEA has possibly contributed to a 567% increase in fentanyl gushing into the USA from, the People’s Republic of China? Wasn’t the reduction of fentanyl deaths Crapaud’s big smokescreen for a power grab?

Resultant domestic confusion expands the power vacuum which Crapaud will “manage” to his advantage…of course.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: Steve Byfield at it Again with a Tight Assed 2021 Cadence Red

Virtual winemaker Steve Byfield is at it again with another Cadence Red a blend of Merlot (37%), Cabernet Franc (36%), Cabernet Sauvignon (20%) and Malbec (5%). 122 cases produced.

Aroma: Tightly structured demanding at least one more year in the bottle to fuitify a bit more.  Black fruit is to be noticed here particularly blackberry, black cherry, figs, cinnamon with a bit of earthiness on the edges.

Palate: Firmly structured almost tightly wound. Moderate tannins. Hesitatingly rich with raspberry, blueberry, date, pomegranate and some milk chocolate. Super well integrated oak and acidity. Moderate peppery finish. Requires an hour minimum to breathe and open up.

Personality: Tight assed, dignified and needs to be coaxed with food.

Food Match: If you have the patience to craft a Mushroom Wellington it is.

Cellarbility: It will gain points on the fruit meter through to the end of 2027 perhaps to the extent it will evolve into a Niagara classic red blend.

Price: $26 CDN.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine Rating: 91/100.

(Nyarai Cellars 2021 Cadence, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Nyarai Cellars, Vinted at West Avenue Cider House, Freelton, Ontario, 750 mL 13%).

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film: “Sweet Summer Pow Pow”: Two Generations Barely Able to Politic to Peace in “Love Story” Indigenous Style

Jinny (Tatyana Rose Baptiste) is a 17-year-old from the County Lake nation in British Columbia. Jinny suffers under the despotic but well intended iron fist of her mother Cara (Tanis Paranteau). Cara, now the chief of the County Lake nation, was not always a paradigm of respectability as Jinny notes she spent time in her youth in the flophouses of East Vancouver.

Jinny dreams of becoming a modern dancer but to please her nagging Cruella De Vil mother participates in the summer Pow Wow circuit in the province before she departs to a university pre-law programme in Toronto completely preprogrammed by Cara.

True to the teen romance genre of film she falls in love with Riley (Joshua Odjick) from the nearby White Bluff Reserve. While Jinny has a modern dance dream Riley’s is designing a line of aboriginal clothing.

The romance intensifies but so does Cara’s interference in the relationship making it abundantly clear will result in a failed relationship, children and a job at a clothing store in the mall.

At times the film descends into a maudlin teen romance with pockets of stiff acting, weak writing and cheaply filmed in the car shots with the exterior view from the car window like one might expect in a 1940’s movie. But the conflict scenes between Jinny and Cara and Riley and Miles (Trevor Carroll) a decrepit and violent alcoholic father are spot on.

Will true love interject itself into parent child conflicts?  Will Jinny obediently trundle off to Toronto university pre-law saying adieu to Riley heading to designing fame in Vancouver?

The final Pow Wow dance scene is a watermark in the portrayal of aboriginal themed film focusing on extra-reserve life and culture so admirably accomplished in the Canadian television series “Tales from the Rez”, “Jason” and the film “The Great Salish Heist”. Aboriginal themed productions have lunged beyond stereotypical and morose to a new more inspiring and optimistic bent.

Lisa C. Ravensbergen as Nora and Graham Greene as the one liner Pow Wow MC absolutely shine. Young Tyler Peters as Sawyer is a talent to watch. What a natural!

Directed by Darrell Dennis.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film Rating 76/100.

The Return of the Penniless Pensioner: Chapter Nine: A Dictator Grooms America: The Power of Non-Ideology

Most political movements are glued and powered by a cohesive and extensive ideology. The Crapaud ideology can be written on a yellow stickie.

Crapaudism is based on manufactured anger manipulated to attract and pander to his base. Anger, often theatrical, is directed towards what inflames his base.

On the opening pages of a very slim book of Crapaudism is xenophobia as what could be more patriotic than despising what is not “American”. It is intertwined with mythical concepts of “America Being Great Again” or reversion to a “Golden Age”

Although the soul of America was built on immigration it is now an evil full of child molesters, drug dealers, terrorists and best be accomplished by closing the borders to the unwashed hordes. Send the armed forces to the borders of the United States and threaten Mexico and Canada to do the same. It is not a question of a well-deserved reform of a shattered United States immigration system but the elimination of it

Crapaudism thrives on exaggeration. For example, tariff threats have been levied on Canada for facilitating the flow of fentanyl into the United States increasing crime and death there. Yet the facts are there are far more drugs and guns flowing into Canada from the United States than drugs flowing into the United States from Canada.

And speaking of factual manipulation of Crapaudism this is the fuel that flames the fires of the uneducated and the educated benefitting from Crapaudism. A recent survey of Trump supporters reveals that 68% of those polled do not know where Canada is on the map

Crapaudism is fueled by the cult of personality and martyrdom. Crapaud portrays himself as a martyr hounded by numerous prosecutors and citizens out “to get him”. Just a regular guy minding his business attacked by enemies vindictively crucifying him from everything from sexual dalliances with Cloudy Daniels to his obsession with Georgia Fried Chicken.

Then there are the attack dogs substrata heroes like border czar Tom Wholesome, the cowboy hatted Secretary of Homeland Paranoia Cristal “Yee Haw” Numbhead, Moron Tusk as chief slasher aka Special Adviser and Rob Bubblehead Jr. as health czar. Bigger than life and yes there are more flamboyant actors in the Crapaud misadministration than Ronald Reguns could have dreamt of.

No need to continue. Ideology requires thinking, Crapuadism requires acting enabling the spotlight to focus on the frightening and sometimes hilarious mouth of Oran Crapaud the President of the United States. A “strongman” and I’m not talking physical strength.

The most insidious and dangerous tenet of Crapaudism is that when he protects America he is “above the law” worthy of a mighty salute from Moron Tusk!

Spoof News Services: United States Launches Offensive Against Canadian Ice-wine: Maple Syrup Could be Next: Lac Duvin, Quebec (16February2025)

The Secretary of Agriculture of the United States, Susan Malaka, announced that commencing immediately all sales of Canadian Ice-wine will be prohibited in the United States.

Malaka announced at a meeting of Golden Age Youth in Dayton, Ohio, “Effective immediately we have resurrected Prohibition in our fight against Canadian Ice-wine. The Canadians hit our wines and spirits in their tariff war so are we to sit back and do nothing? All Canadian Ice-wine currently awaiting distribution will be destroyed and all vines producing grapes used in the production of Canadian Ice-wine primarily in the provinces of Ontario and British Columbia will be subject to paraquat spraying which the United States used to crush marijuana production in 1970’s Mexico.”

Susan Malaka Secretary of Agriculture of the United States reportedly said off line that she loves the smell of paraquat in the morning!

Malaka’ actions were praised by President Donald Trump as follows, “Suzy is a wonderful gal. Really wonderful. Our government will be awarding “Made in America” subsidies to Alaskan entrepreneurs, the best wheeler dealers in the world. Grapes will be trucked up to Alaska from Oregon, Washington and California to make real Ice-wine. They will place these grapes in giant freezers and crush the grapes when they are frozen. Real quality Ice-wine. The best, really the best.”

Canadian Ice-wine producers plan a march at the United Nations (assuming they are permitted to enter the United States) in the upcoming days to protest against Wineacide and Crimes Against Canadian grape growers.

Timothy Kelowna the acting president of the Okanagan Grape Growers said, “How is poisoning Canadians with paraquat and destroying Canadian Ice-wine producers going to make America great again? What type of greatness is this?”

Spoof reports unconfirmed reports Maple Syrup plantations may be established along the banks of the French River in Delaware and New Jersey which may offset demand for Canadian maple syrup facing an imminent ban from entering the United States.

Spoof News Services: United States Department of Homeland Paranoia Labels Canadian Booing of U.S. National Anthem an Act of Terrorism: Arlington, Virginia: 16February2025

Cristal “Hee Haw” Numbhead, the Secretary of the United States Department of Homeland Paranoia, said in Washington today Canadians booing the United States anthem on 15February2025 at Montreal’s Molson’s Arena at a hockey match between Canada and the United States in the Four Nations Face-Off Series amounted to an act of terrorism against the United States and should be referred to as a St. Valentine Day Massacre.

Numbhead stated, “The willful acts of the citizens of the 51st state are treasonous and an afront to America’s Golden Age where all will fear America making it great again. Should this continue Canada will be placed on a list of terrorist groups. Our government knows the culprits as our Special Advisor and his team of techs, known as “The House Cleaners” have access to the National Hockey League database with all personal information on the Canadian spectators. We have asked Montreal Mayor Malerie Lafern to prepare a detention centre for the anthem booers at the mothballed Expo 67 site.”

The Canadian Minister of Canadian Purity responded saying the booing was not the act of true Canadians against their friendly neighbour to the south but rather an act of North Korean agent provocateurs. A statement from the Ministry blamed unemployed North Korean soldiers fighting in the Ukraine conflict hired by Iranian security forces as manipulating the innocent Canadian fans. Apparently hundreds of discarded kimchi containers with “Proudly Made in North Korea” were found in a security sweep of the Arena after the match.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Film: “Lucky Star”: Down the Rabbit Hole Again?

Harold “Lucky” Lee (Terry Chen) resides in Calgary, Alberta with his wife Noel (Olivia Cheng) and daughters Grace (Connie Miu) and Jenny.

Lucky recently purchased an electronic repair business and is heavily leveraged. And his accountant, and long-time friend, advises him he owes the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) $15,000 in taxes. After Lucky receives a threatening call from CRA advising him a lien on his property will only be lifted if he makes an immediate partial payment of $10,000. Being a good taxpayer and fearful of a damaged credit rating he obtains an “instant loan” from a storefront loan shop wiring the funds to the CRA. A slight problem though as CRA calls him shortly after making the payment to discuss the $15,000 tax bill. Lucky is the victim of a classic scam i.e. where urgency and threats abound.

Lucky has a gambling problem and there may be hints throughout the film it has been in the past but as the film opens with Lucky (pre CRA scam) in a casino the hints may be red herrings. Lucky is charming and an excellent liar hiding money throughout the house and borrowing from Grace. He is perpetually short of funds and borrowing. Grace, a university student, secretly lends Lucky money. He stoops so low as to scam his accountant friend of $2,600 to rescue his car from the pound for unpaid parking tickets and fines yet he already paid the outstanding amount.

With his web of lies crumbling Lucky is back to high stakes “private” poker games to pay his debts. He wins a large sum of money but how much he owes and to whom is never described in the film. His lies have caught up with him and a frustrated Noel tosses him out of the house.

Is Lucky back on the straight and narrow he may never has been on? Grace has graduated and has a boyfriend. The entire family has a peaceful dinner at their favourite restaurant. Noel accepts Lucky’s out for a coffee invitation. Are things on the up and up? Who knows? That gives the film credibility and strong passing marks from me.

Strong performances from Chen, Cheng and Miu. Such a happy and good-looking family it seems. But a gambling addiction hides behind the facade.

Directed by Gillian McKercher.

RKS 2025 Canadian Film Rating 86/100.

Spoof News Services: Canadian Play “Come from Away” Removed from Stage as a Result of Trumpgression: Sequel Planned: Markdale, Ontario: 15February2025

Squeamish Productions of Kinmount, Ontario today announced the closure of the Canadian play “Come from Away” due to “hostile audience behavior”.

“Come From Away” is the maudlin production manufactured to make suburban audiences glow with warmth. It “celebrates the joy of humanity” according to Creedy Zomberg president of Squeamish Productions. Zomberg stated, “Canadian audiences booed vociferously and hurled popcorn when in the production Newfieganders treated American passengers stranded with the 9/11 global grounding of flights with incredible kindness and compassion. There is a huge amount of animosity towards Americans here in Canada now resulting from Trumpgression towards Canada. We launched an extensive advertising campaign to attract audiences back to this wonderful play but that was a gargantuan mistake only augmenting hostility against the production.”

Spoof News Services has learnt a sequel to “Come from Away” will be named “Go Away and Stay Away” and will be modernized to transcend the reeking sentimentality of “Come from Away”. Characters such as Horny Daniels, Howie Sputnik, Mug Ford, Steve Bannanman, Ergon Musty, Candy Westgame, Kim Jong Umster, Baldy Putin and Cristal “Yee Haw” Numbhead will spice up and politicize how badly manipulated Newfieganders were and betrayed by President Trump whose effigy will be set on fire during the closing number.

Spoof’s exclusive behind the scenes look at the preproduction process for “Go Away and Stay Away”

It is expected “Go Away and Stay Away” will be opening up at Niagara-on-the-Lake’ Simcoe Park’s bandstand on 1July2025 after the Canada Day Parade and cake cutting ceremony.

RKS 2025 CANADIAN Wine: Can’t do Cabernet Franc right then go home!

I was taken aback reading the description of Peller Estates Private Reserve 2020 Cabernet Franc in the 5February2025 Liquor Control Board of Ontario’s Vintages catalogue, “For those in the know, Cabernet Franc is one of the hush hush superstars of the Ontario wine scene.” Superstar yes. Hush Hush? Was it ever hush hush? Well debatable but given the veer off from American wine inspired by Trumpgression perhaps if Cabernet Franc is hush hush in Ontario it shall no longer be so.

As far as I am concerned if you can’t do Cabernet Franc right in Ontario time to go home.

Aroma: Intense and seemingly creamy black fruit and with heavy blueberry and black currant accents. Hints of French oak. Not a bad replacement for mass produced Cali Cabernet Sauvignon. Bye Bye California wines. Hello Ontario and British Columbia wines.

Palate: More tannins than expected in an Ontario Cabernet Franc but then again Ontario has been working Cabernet Franc so right for so long different styles do exist. A good solid structure and the fruit kicks in on the back palate just when you thought it had escaped across the river from The-Niagara-on-the-Lake Golf Club to Fort George in New York State. Short finish with a black currant kick.

Personality: I am not a Niagara Light low cal Cabernet Franc. Think of me as Doug Ford swinging a big verbal stick to tough guy Trump.

Cellarbility: Drinking good up to 2029 but 2026 and 2027 might be the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie for this wine.

Food Match: A Waterfront Burger at the Waterfront Restaurant at The Niagara-on-the-Lake Golf Club but ask them to chill it just a bit. The last red wine I had at the Waterfront was room temperature on a roasting hot summer day.

Price: $26.55 CDN.

RKS 2025 Canadian Wine Rating: 92/100.

(Peller Estates Private Reserve 2022 Cabernet Franc, VQA Niagara Peninsula, Peller Estates, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, 750 mL, 13.9%).

The Return of the Penniless Pensioner: Chapter Eight: A Dictator Grooms America: The Enemy at the Gates

Essential for a dictator’s grip on power are the drooling fangs of an enemy ready to tear the fabric of established society to pieces. The Nazi’s had a variety of enemies including Jews, Romas, Slavs, communists and homosexuals.

An enemy of the nation state may cause the rallying of the masses behind a leader that can protect them and if you do not support that leader, you are an enemy of the masses. It makes little difference if they are actually enemies. What matters is if the dictator can convince or intimidate the masses to believe the enemy is real and threatening.

Oran Crapaud, the President of the United States, had a bucketful of enemies which included prosecutors hot on his trail for criminal acts and cover-ups of stormy dalliances, caravans of migrants, CNN, Canadians, Greenlanders, Panamanians, Democrats, fentanyl, trade imbalances, The Pope, NATO, The United Nations, The CIA, The FBI, transgenders, pro-abortionists and Gavin Newscum the governor of California.

The more time expended combatting Crapaud’s enemies the less time ferreting out what he was up to.

If you were not lending your support to fighting Crapaud’s enemies you were the enemy. It was a black and white world in the United States as you were either for or against.