RKS Literature: Did I Really Lose My Nose (Gogol)

“My God, my God. What have I done to deserve this? If I’d lost an arm or a leg it wouldn’t be so bad. Even without ears things wouldn’t be pleasant, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. A man without a nose, though, is God knows what, neither fish nor fowl. Just something to be thrown out of the window. If my nose had been lopped off during the war, a duel, at least I might have had some say in the matter. But to lose it for no reason at all and with nothing to show for it, not even a copeck. No, it’s absolutely impossible…it couldn’t have gone just like that! Never. Must have been a dream, or perhaps I drank some of that vodka I use for rubbing down my beard after shaving instead of water….”

Nikolai Gogol, “The Nose”, 1836.

RKS Literature: The Hurons’ Anger Breaks Montcalm’s Promise of Safe Passage for the Surrendering British

“More than two thousand raving savages broke from the forest at the signal and threw themselves across the fatal plain with instinctive alacrity. We shall not dwell on the revolting horrors that succeeded. Death was everywhere, and in his most terrific and disgusting aspects. Resistance only seemed to inflame the murderers, who inflicted their furious blows long after their victims were beyond the power of their resentment. The flow of blood might be likened to the outbreaking of a torrent; and as the natives became heated and maddened by the sight, many of them even kneeled to the earth, and drank freely, exultingly, hellishly of the crimson tide.”

James Fenimore Cooper, “The Last of the Mohicans”, 1826.

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: THEY STOLE MY STEPS AND MADE ME NUTSO

THEY STOLE MY STEPS AND MADE ME NUTSO

It is all this neutering that is causing interminable problems for everyone!

I can’t enjoy my long walks. We are averaging 8,000 steps a day. I can’t meet my friends both humans and dogs. I can’t puppy fight.

I can’t tear around the snow-covered backyard. That is about 2,000 steps a day. Avoid busting open the stitches.

Can’t get the underbelly wet as may create infection risk.

Where can my puppy energy be expended?

Running around the house and creating more trouble than usual.

Bob says I am temporarily nutso!

RKS Poetry Anthology: “Too many apples and grapes later”

Too many apples and grapes later

A gasp

Thunderous deafening roar

Burning acrid gas

Hot molten lava

Slides down the porcelain precipice

A sigh like the spring wind

And the disaster sucked down to the bowels of the earth

only

The warm human smell remains

Robert K. Stephen

RKS Poetry Anthology: “The Bluebeard Café”

The Bluebeard Café

They mocked us as greasy punks

Kicked our ass out into the grasp of Montreal’s winter cold

To spoil those bugger’s weekend treat

Was going to be quite a feat

So we fixed them a cocktail that would cause any drinker to flush

Accompanied by screams

So it seemed as we warmed our hands in the heat of the fire

Robert K. Stephen

RKS 2026 Nova Scotian Wines: The 2022 Old Bill

Few wines from the Canadian province of Nova Scotia grace the shelves of Ontario’s liquor monopoly, the Liquor Control Board of Ontario. All the brouhaha in Canada about promoting and buying Canadian products?

The producer Luckett Vineyards is in the Gaspereau Valley of Nova Scotia

It is blend of Pinot Noir, Castel and Lucie Kuhlmann (all grown in Nova Scotia) aged in Hungarian, French and American oak for 15 months.

Lucie Kuhlmann is an early ripening grape mainly grown in the Canadian province of Nova Scotia and is a crossed sibling or Marechal Foch. Castel is a French-American hybrid crossing Cinsault and Vitis Rupestris.

Aroma: Rich and heady black currant, blackberry and blueberry. A tad of burnt rubber.

Palate: Very close to what you smell what you taste. Noticeable tannins with restrained acidity. Short grapey finish.

Personality: So what if I am not Vitis Vinifera aside from my Pinot Noir but Canadians are not snobs and they support Canadian wineries right?

Food Match: Broiled Lac Brome duck topped with a blueberry-Port reduction sauce. Singaporean spiced crab.

Cellarbility: Drink now but will hold until end of 2028.

Price: $33 CDN.

RKS 2026 Nova Scotian Wines Rating: 89/100

(Luckett Vineyards 2022 The Old Bill, Wines of Nova Scotia, Luckett Farms Ltd, Wolfville, Nova Scotia, 750 mL, 13%).

“Lost in Puppydom: Rory Dylan Stephen’s Puppydom”: RECOVERING FROM THE PROCEDURE AND HEADING TOWARD PUPPY BLUES?

RECOVERING FROM THE PROCEDURE AND HEADING TOWARD PUPPY BLUES?

I felt like a slow-motion character upon returning home. I wanted to play, run about and tussle but my wants were not transformed into physicality. It was not that I wanted to sleep mind you. I really couldn’t finish what I started and lost interest and the ability to focus.

There was no pain rather stiffness.

I had no interest in my kibble but simply couldn’t refuse a toasted bagel chunk with a piece of banana and peanut butter. How could anyone!

That bloody cone around my neck. I keep careening into objects. I must be hand fed and a water bowl must be lifted up to just outside the cone. Try sleeping with a cone on your head. The frustration is enough to transform you into “Conehead the Barbarian”. Can I last for 10 days with this contraption? I had a couple of pieces of gnocchi tonight for a treat and a big chunk was caught on my beard and the cone. I try to smell the ground but my cone bangs into it. It scoops up snow.

Rules rules rules.

No getting my underbelly wet to avoid infections. This means my walks in this never-ending slushy weather are not possible and even if it was dry outside I must take it easy for 10 days and that means short walks. My potty training has suffered as a result.

Due to the lack of my 8,000 human steps daily on walks and not being able to zoom about in the backyard snow how do I utilize all this puppy energy? Zooming around like a maniac inside which I am not supposed to do. I can’t stand being an idle pup.

We will get through this, and I still don’t understand what losing my manhood means and why it has made me and Bob so frustrated.

It will be difficult to avoid the Puppy Blues especially as this winter never seems to end. Bob has said many times just wait until spring, summer and fall! I have only really known winter but the wetness, cold, snow, freezing rain and darkness is beginning to bother me.

RKS Poetry Anthology: “Just the death of a dog”

Just the death of a dog

Just a dog you say?

Just a dog

15 years by your side

Morning, afternoon and evening walks all over town

The click clack of nails on the floor rushing to greet you

The bark at the door protecting you from threats

Warm greetings of wagging tail and kisses upon your return home

An eternal friend and protector no matter in what direction the wind blows

Cuddles under the sheets and the winter wind howls outside

Your alarmed rescue from a loud sneeze

Gratitude and nuzzling

Sensing your pain

Unfailing loyalty and

Memories memories memories

Your morning chunk of a toasted and buttered Montreal bagel a ritual (sesame seed preferred)

A last kiss on your now cold head

Must not be threatened by that final needle!

As he orders from The Land Beyond

“Just” a dog you say?

Robert K. Stephen