The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version):Chapter 36: Let’s Plan the Future with My Sweet Campanian Plum That is Eating Three Pizzas at a Shot: John Lennon to the Rescue!

Upon our return to Naples we continued our holiday mode for a few weeks seeing the sites of Naples and eating for three. Ginevra was expanding rapidly. It would be two pizzas for dinner and many scoops of gelato afterwards. As my sweet Campanian plum was expanding rapidly and becoming more like a watermelon my confusion was as well.

After a pizza extravaganza where Ginevra ate three tasty artichoke and anchovy pizzas and drank four Brios it was time for a chat. What was our future aside from founding a branch of Weight Watchers in Naples?

Of course, we were deeply in love. But love must be tested.

What was our role in Naples? Ginevra had no doubts. We were to stay in Naples. We were to prepare to step into the shoes of Don Lupara when he was retired. Not when he retired but when he was “retired’. Don Ginevra was to rule the Scampian narcotics business and I was her head of the crews doing the on the ground business. An enforcer, executioner and arm of the family. Entertaining the crew and burying the endless cadavers and ensuring the families had a “survivor’s pension”. I would need lessons in Neapolitan, arms training and narcotic purity.

My life was to be one of crime, violence, benevolence, paternalism and terror.

It had a ruthless attraction but heck I was a lawyer upholding the law or so thought I but as I knew very well lawyers served the highest bidder like hired guns, defending street rapists and corporate rapists depending on who was paying the bills. But a ruthless thug? My dad Paneer Gupta was a hashish dealer in a milieu where all shared the trade as opposed to wiping out each other over minor transgressions. I was coming to the conclusion my sweet Campanian plum might just be no better than a Campanian Charles Manson.

Thank goodness I received a call from my pal John Lennon saying there had been a bad flood at the Dakota and my unit was damaged and I should come home…home? Where was my home? So saying adieu to Ginevra I headed back to New York to deal with the Dakota situation.

In the horizon tragedy upon tragedy was awaiting!

I had a dream and not one like Martin Luther King; this is what my Ginevra might be as the new narcotic queen of Scampia

RKS Literature: Vancouver Suburb the Hate Capital of British Columbia

“I remembered playing baseball past where Navi lived, back when it was an empty lot, but now the area was overrun with homes, housing mostly Indian families. Sikhs. Men with turbans and beards. Women who travelled in pairs, in gold flecked orange, beet, and yellow fabrics. They kept their lawns trim and undecorated. They took about two-thirds of the high school. An Indian veteran had not been allowed to enter the local legion hall on Remembrance Day because he was wearing a turban, and headwear was forbidden. The story had gotten into the newspapers, and our homely little suburb was declared the hate capital of the province.”

Kevin Chong, “Baroque-A-Nova”, 2001.

Press Release from the Office of Santa Claus Concerning Trump Tariffs

10January2025: North Pole: Spoof Wire Services

Santa Claus held a press conference this morning at his North Pole headquarters and workshop. The following statement was issued post press conference wherein Santa Claus stated:

“It is with great concern that yesterday I received notice from the office of President Elect Donald J. Trump of the United States. The notice stated a 35% tariff will be levied on all Christmas gifts delivered by myself and my reindeer to the United States. This is to prevent subsidization of Santa’s workshop by the United States taxpayers the notice stated. I have discussed this concept of subsidization with our chief economic officer and he replied there is no subsidy involved. We are a nonprofit enterprise here at the North Pole and our huge stockpiles of cookies and milk simply can’t be converted into tariff payment money. Accordingly if no exemption is available to the delivery of Christmas gifts to the United States all its children will not be receiving Christmas gifts from Santa Claus and that includes President Elect Trump as a result of his Trumpgression  is on the top of our naughty list.

The notice erroneously stated our gifts are made from materials imported from the People’s Republic of China which are then stamped “Product of Santa’s Workshop”. All gifts distributed to children worldwide are made exclusively, except for 12% Greenland content, here in the North Pole with local materials.

The notice stated I am not respecting the borders of the United States by flying into it and distributing gifts without receiving any governmental authority from the United States. Should I attempt to do the same next Christmas Eve I have been warned my sleigh will be shot down.

I assure President Elect Trump I am not smuggling fentanyl in my sac to drop down the chimney of opioid consumers. I make further assurances I am not transporting elves illegally into the United States.

Finally, I object to the public announcements made by President Elect Trump the United States will be annexing the North Pole for the safety and security of the United States. The North Pole is more than a sovereign state; it is the state of mind for millions of children and their families. Could it be our vast reserves of caribou are the reason? There is already a vast poaching problem with the restaurants of the United States charging enormous prices for “North Pole venison” including The Polo Club in Manhattan a favourite Republican hangout.

We here in the North Pole are discussing Trumpgression with the governments of Denmark, Canada and Panama and will be announcing countermeasures. God save the children of the United States. God save Christmas. God save the orange juice producers of the United States and the wineries of California!

RKS 2025 Wine: A Rubin from Bulgaria

One of the most popular grapes of the Thracian region in Bulgaria is Rubin. Reminds one of the name of a sandwich. It was created in Bulgaria in the mid 1940’s as a cross between Nebbiolo and Syrah.

Rubin is easy to work with and is early to medium ripening with high yields. Care must be exercised as very soon after ripening the grapes can turn to raisins increasing their sugar content and loosing acidity. Its early reputation was as a blender or for the creation of sweet wine.

Rubin wines are intensely coloured with pronounced aromas of red berry fruits.

We try an organic Rubin single varietal wine from Terra Tangra.

Aroma: Black currant, blackberry, black cherry, smoke, milk chocolate and mellow oak.

Palate: A moderate peek a boo tannic blast that fades as quickly as it presents itself. Blackberry with cassis and cured meat swirling around the edges. Short peppery finish. Tamed acids.

Personality: Bulgaria has a bit of catching up to do as its wine industry suffered during communist rule but nothing a bit of free enterprising kulaks couldn’t solve! As Canadians may soon be boycotting American wines in response to Trumpgression perhaps Thracian wines from Bulgaria may help fill the void.

Food Match: South African Bobotie.

Cellarbility: Consume in 2025.

Price: $17CDN.

RKS 2025 Wine Rating: 88/100.

(Terra Tangra 2019 Rubin, PGI Thracian Valley, Terra Tanga, Sofia, Bulgaria, 750 mL, 14%).

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 35: A Break from the Killing and Violence: There are Now Two Daddies!

It was time out for a bit of sightseeing outside Naples suggested Ginevra and I agreed. We would be tailed only by two men in a car. Ginevra explained to me a cardinal rule of the Neapolitan Camorra that in the case of hostilities between families woman and children would be spared violence and death provided they were not directly involved in the narcotic trade. Ginevra was not involved in the narcotic trade….at least not to my knowledge. Security was much less stringent than it was in Naples. But didn’t Don Lupara just execute two fourteen-year-olds, Guido and Lino. In his own crew? Why was Ginevra carrying her ancient Smith and Wesson six shooter in a shoulder holster? These Neapolitans are complicated people. We would visit Vesuvius, Sorrento and Capri.

Vesuvius was eerie. So many people died. The ruins were a stark reminder of the horror for those who choose not to flee. Some bodies were mummified in ash. Ruins indicated that Vesuvius was a flourishing town. We went to a wine tasting at a consortium of vineyard owners that grew their grapes in the volcanic soil on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius. We stayed at the Vesuvius Four Seasons and had a fabulous dinner in the Michelin starred “Hot Lava” Restaurant. We both enjoyed the post dinner “spook tour” in Vesuvius. Our security detail kept a discrete distance from us.

The next morning off to Sorrento to wander around the streets. I asked Ginevra why she was purchasing so many baby clothes. She replied that they were for her cousin Maria de Mamabravo a childhood friend who was expecting any day. We discovered a stupendous seafood restaurant and had one of the best Neapolitan pizzas ever. Of course, Ginevra knew that Daddy had been supplying all the pizza cheese to Sorrento restaurants and it was made with low quality Sicilian cheese. Ginevra knowing the owner asked for “the other cheese” a code for not my Daddy’s crap. We split a white pizza to start. Our seafood dinner was caught only hours before and so damn fresh and tasty. No farm raised crap for Daddy’s little girl. We headed to Capri on the ferry the next morning. The port area was tawdry but we took a taxi to Ano Capri up the mountain and were rewarded with a spectacular view. What a pleasure to stroll on the quiet side streets. We had a relaxed lunch and goodness Ginevra was tucking into the pasta like it was her last meal. Why is my little plum stuffing her face?  I’d love her fat or thin and when I remarked she was getting a bit chubby she smiled in that mischievous way and said that she was “eating for two”. WHAT! I really missed the boat on this one. I had to ask what she just said and the response that she was 4 months pregnant with our “little precious one”. I was dumfounded and could barely speak. Seeing I was in deep shock she smiled and said that I would be a Daddy just like her Daddy! Not that I was contemplating an escape but the fire escape doors had been slammed in my face and locked.

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version): Chapter 34: Ginevra Get Your Gun: Is My Sweet Campanian Plum a Ruthless Killer?

Dear reader you must sense I am all shook up. A gangland attack which very nearly killed me and a cold-blooded execution of two young teenagers Guido and Lino by Don Lupara all in one day. If it wasn’t for my sweet Campanian plum Ginevra, I would be hightailing it out this Neapolitan Truman Capote nightmare.

I was reeling even further when Ginevra said I should be a man and suck it up. What!!! As for those teens she made a cruel remark that the little two-timing shits deserved it! Is my sweet little plum also a scorpion?

She relented somewhat and with a cuddle and a kiss suggested we go visit the old family summer compound on the Bay of Naples. So the following day flanked by a heavily armed security team we drove off with a picnic lunch and a bottle of Lacryma de Christi red wine from grapes grown on the volcanic slopes of Mount Vesuvius.

The summer compound was in a ramshackle state but on a beautiful beach. Ginevra said it would be ours and would be fully renovated by Daddy and Mommy as our wedding gift.

Ginevra’s anti tank weapon: A Serbian Vlad 600

Ginerva took her bag from one of the cars and pulled out a machine gun, pistols and an anti-tank weapon. Looking me in eye she said it was time for target practice? Mannequins had been placed at several different distances (prearranged it seems) and before I knew it her barrage of bullets had smashed the mannequins to smithereens. I found it odd she had a Smith and Wesson revolver from the 1860’s. Very Annie Oakley I thought. The last target was an old rowboat that some of the security detail had placed 100 metres off the shore. Ginevra lifted the huge anti-tank weapon like it was a toothpick aimed and blew the rowboat out of the water in a huge yellow and orange explosion. She suggested it was my turn next! I responded perhaps some other day!  With a big smile Ginerva asked what I thought of her skills. I was too dumbfounded to answer. She responded it was time to talk about our future. Indeed it was! She gave me a wink and asked if I was “turned on” by all this shooting? Not really. I felt like puking.

RKS 2025 Wine: Schild Estate 2020 Angus Brae Vineyard Shiraz

Named after Ed Schild’s grandson, Angus, and the Scottish word for ‘Brae’ meaning a steep hillside.

Aroma: Blackberry extreme.

Palate: Blackberry and black currant extreme complimented by dark chocolate. A rich and powerful full-bodied pedal to the medal red wine. This does not impede its silkiness. Long lingering finish.

Personality: Not known for modesty these Aussie’s I say powerful and exceptional.

Food Match: Grilled wild boar.

Cellarbility: Drink until 2028.

Price: $35 CDN.

RKS 2025 Wine Rating: 94/100. Sam Kim 95. Wine Align 91.

(Schild Estate Angus Brae Vineyard 2020 Shiraz, Barossa Valley, Schild Estate Wines, Lyndoch, South Australia, 750 mL, 14.5%).

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (the Final Version) :Chapter 33: Attacked by “Cyclops”: The Execution of Two 14 Year Old’s

Ginevra told me all involved in the Neapolitan narcotics trade had nicknames as a matter of pride and to assist in obfuscating identification by law enforcement and tax authorities. You remember that notorious American gangster Al Capone who visited the “big house” not for murder but tax evasion! The names were colourful and of course as I told you earlier Don Lupara was referred to as the Fat Fox. Other names “in the trade” were “Cyclops”, “Hot Blood”, “Hairy Balls”, “Thumb Sucker”, “Big Nose”, “Bloodhound” and the “Slippery One”.

Don Lupara and Cyclops were not in a “harmonious” relationship. Don Lupara’s territory was the slums of Scampia and bordering Scampia was Piscinola-Marianella. One street on the border of these districts Via Greco was according to Cyclops being hijacked by Don Lupara. Warning shots had been exchanged between Cyclops’ and Don Lupara’s men.

After our little “tour” Don Lupara took me to Scampia’s finest restaurant Satriole’s. A hole in the wall with the best pasta in Campania. We had a steaming bowl of clam pasta with a Sicilian Grillo white wine sitting in the front of the restaurant. It’s plate glass windows gave us a view of all sorts of “Crime in Action”. After being grilled by Don Lupara about how many grandchildren Ginerva and I would give him we sat up and were ready to leave when I was tackled by one of Don Lupara’s men and Don Lupara by another. A huge burst of machine gun fire shattered the plate glass window followed by an explosion. Bloody bodies and body parts were strewn all over the restaurant. Don Lupara was unscathed and I had a piece of glass graze the back of my head and was bleeding. And that man who had been tailing Ginevra and I in New York and had tackled me lay on the ground with bits of his brain oozing from a crater in what was left of his head. Don Lupara was as cool as a cucumber declaring that a war was now on with Cyclops.

Badly shaken we returned to the family compound leaving one piece of business to be taken care of. Guido and Lino were two 14-year-old Scampian teenagers who had staged a violent robbery of a bordello run by Don Lupara. Of course, Don Lupara’s men had apprehended the boys within the hour. Don Lupara was struck by their gall and hired them as low-level drug runners. Well at a disco Guido and Lino had made acquaintances with two young ladies and they ran out of cocaine so they ripped off a Fat Fox drug dealer outside of Scampia. This was a fatal mistake. We walked into a room where the boys were tied up full of apologies and contrition by the “traitors”. Territory had to be respected as a matter of honour. Don Lupara walked up to them and shot Guido and Lino in the head. And I was just thinking Don Lupara might be a decent fellow. You disagree with Don Lupara you will not live to agree or disagree with anyone anymore.

The Penniless Pensioner: Misaligned, Maligned but Marvellous (The Final Version) : Chapter 32: Scampia, Naples: Down and Dirty in the Cocaine and Heroin Factory and Price Club Distribution Centre

Don Lupara and I left the family compound after a hearty breakfast of fruit, smoked ham and Napoli croissants loaded with Malvagia’s stupendous orange marmalade made from oranges from the family orchards in Ischia. With food like this perhaps the “Fat” in “Fat Fox” might have referred to the effects of all the tremendous Neapolitan food!

Our car, a huge fat Russian Zil with its armour and bullet proof glass, was flanked by a car in front and to our rear. I saw pistols bulging from the backs of the tattooed and odd looking “colleagues” of Don Lupara riding in the vehicles. Don Lupara said the Zil once belonged to Nikita Khrushchev.

Riding in Don Lupara’s Russian Zil

Don Lupara explained to me that I was  to see his business operations that “of course” Ginevra was going to assume upon his death which he said in this business and in Naples is always just around the corner. Again the threat, although said in a more friendly tone than it had been a few days ago, that what I was about to see must never be repeated outside “the family”.

Our first stop was the cocaine and heroin “factory”. The narcotics were smuggled via Bulgaria from El Salvador and the Dominican Republic concealed in sex toy dolls wrapped tightly in two kilo bricks. Having such good import connections the narcotics were pure. A team sat on a huge-long table removing the wrapping on the bricks. The powder was then cut to half strength and packaged in various sizes for “retail distribution” fine tuned like some Price Club warehouse! Heavily armed men guarded the outside with machine guns.

The retail network consisted of over 75 men and women. Most narcotics were distributed like candy from various locations in the Scampia district often near schools and playgrounds with tall buildings nearby where sentinels could watch oncoming movements. A fleet of motor scooters zipped about delivering narcotics to the “distribution team”.  A never-ending line of ragged customers flashed their cash quickly and efficiently and scuttled off. The “distribution team” was well trained in quick escapes should there be a police raid. As Don Lupara said to me the family had many “friends” in the public prosecutor’s office and custom’s offices so law enforcement raids were known far in advance. For their information and assistance very large sums of cash were needed to grease palms so Don Lupara had a payroll to meet in addition to “employees” in the factory and in the distribution network.

All said and done this was a business model that could be one of the finest in the capitalist world. Again what in earth had fate delivered to me. Ginerva and I becoming narcotic kingpins in Naples? Ginevra was not that type of girl…..or so I thought yet I recalled she cut up 3 tough Puerto Rican thugs in Harlem faster than you could blink. There was much more to my sweet Italian plum than those captivating green eyes.

For our lunch break Don Lupara said it was important I meet some of his “colleagues” as I would be dealing with them in the future? And why did Don Lupara have me set up to take Italian language courses?

RKS 2025 Documentary: “A Conversation with Bob Mackie: Naked Illusion”

“A Conversation with Bob Mackie: Naked Illusion” is what you get in this American documentary; Bob Mackie and many others, predominately entertainers and celebrities, discussing the career of American costume designer Bob Mackie.

Mackie, now 85, started sketching as a boy preferring that to athletic pursuits. When asked what he wanted to do “when you grow up” he answered a “fashion designer on Broadway”. At 21 years of age his first job was sketching for Jean Louis and Mackie sketched the dress that Jean Louis then designed for Marylyn Monroe to sing “Happy Birthday” to President John F. Kennedy. He designed extensively for The Judy Garland Show, The Carol Burnett Show and The Sonny and Cher Show. Mackie has had a long costume designing relationship with Cher creating unique costume designs lending her a persona that she might not have otherwise had. Elton John credits some of his success to the outlandish Mackie costumes.

There are countless testaments to his talents from Carol Burnett, Cher, Mitzi Gaynor, Pink, Miley Cyrus, Elton John, Ru Paul and others.

Costume designers create theatrical “outfits” and require an ability to translate personality into costumes i.e. will it compliment the personality and make a lasting statement. There is no better example than the costume created for Cher for the 58th annual Academy Awards presentation, a fuck you dress she wore to snub the Academy. A few of the comments made by subjects in the documentary are “visual beauty”, “larger than life”, “scandalous” “performance fashion” and “Hollywood creations”.

Mackie was influenced as a youngster by the musicals he saw on television and in the movie theatre such as the costumes worn in the Ziegfeld Follies.

The costumes in the documentary speak for themselves and the talent of Bob Mackie.

There is scant and fuzzy information as to his personal life and sexuality. Mackie was married to LuLu Porter divorcing her in 1963 with costume designer Ray Aghayan becoming his life partner until his death in 2011. His son Robin died of an HIV related illness in 1993 which shook Mackie to the extent he refused to elaborate any further in the documentary.

Although the documentary is deep down Mackie it is also somewhat of a history of costume design in the United States.

“A Conversation with Bob Mackie: Naked Illusion” will be showing in Toronto at Toronto Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema 18/19January2025 with Bob Mackie and his design director Joe McFate in attendance and in conversation.

You can watch the trailer here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZSLQ_E3eXQ

Directed by Matthew Miele.

RKS 2025 Documentary Film Rating 86/100.