The Liquor Control Board of Ontario is busily removing all American alcohol from its shelves.
Canadian Province of Manitoba Removes All American Alcohol Off Liquor Store Shelves
As announced today by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew effective immediately in response to President Donald Trump’s tariffs the Manitoba government has issued a directive to stop the sale of American alcohol products at Manitoba liquor marts and no further American alcohol will be ordered.
By executive order, as opposed to the legislative process, President Trump’s tariffs on all Canadian goods entering the United States will be 25% and 10% on oil and gas products.
Canadian Province of British Columbia to Remove United States Red State Liquor From its Shelves Immediately
In a statement today the Premier of British Columbia David Eby announced his government’s response to President Donald Trump’s 25% tariff on all Canadian goods entering the United States with the exception of oil and gas products which will be subject to a 10% tariff.
This is a partial ban only applying to “red sate” liquor i.e. Those states that awarded electoral college votes to Trump in the last election.
Premier Eby stated, “We didn’t ask for this fight the president has brought to Canada and to British Columbia. I’ll tell you this — we’re not going to shrink from it.
Effective immediately, BC Liquor Stores will be pulling all red-state liquor products off the shelf and will not order any more.”
Canadian Province of Nova Scotia Removes All United States Alcohol from the Shelves of the Nova Scotia Liquor Corp Immediately
On 4March2025 Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston announced effective immediately that the government will direct the Nova Scotia Liquor Corp to remove all alcohol from the United States from their shelves stating that the first time this was done it was considered an effective response and hurt American producers who rely on Canadian markets. There are more than 400 products involved including beer, wine and spirits. These products represent 7% of the NSLC’s number of alcohol listings.
The action of the Government of Nova Scotia is a result of Trumpian Tariffs imposing a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods entering the United States with the exception for oil and gas products which will be subject to a 10% tariff.
Premier Houston remarked, “Donald Trump is a short sighted man who wields his power just for the sake of it, not having any consideration for the destructive impact of his decisions on both Canadians and Americans.”
American Pediatric Society Lambasts Elon Musk as a “Baby Dangler”: Creamstone, Arkansas: 5March2025: Spoof News Services
In a keynote address at the American Pediatric Society’s annual conference in Creamstone, Arkansas Melinda Gatehead, Rector of the ABS, lambasted Special Advisor Elon Musk for his shameless “baby dangling” and based on a vote of the board of directors of the APS awarded Musk with the uncoveted “L’Enfant Terrible” Award bestowed each year on the individual recklessly endangering the physical or mental health of American children. The first “winner” of the award was the late Michael Jackson in 2002 for his baby dangling out of hotel window.
Gatehead addressed the APS members supping on Kansas American grain fed beef, Maine potatoes, creamed Minnesota rutabaga and Vermont Apple Crisp with California Gallo Blush wine as follows, “Elon Musk, which we refer to as Baby Dangler Musk, used his child (or was it an actor) shamelessly at an Oval Office meeting with President Trump recently. American pediatricians strongly disagree with using children as props in political messaging. Mr. Musk may know a thing or two about automobiles but as for raising children his battery is dead.”
Mr. Musk, busily decimating American families through vicious job cuts based on non-existent fraud and corruption claims, was unable for comment.
The United States Bans the Sale of All Portuguese Wines: Toenail Fungus Juice a Threat to Americans: Spoof News Services: Porto, Portugal: 4March2025
The President of the United States today banned all sales of Portuguese wine in the United States of America by executive order 1,234.
White House Press Secretary Bleacha Blondie advised the nation, “ On the basis of extensive testing undertaken by Bobblehead Kennedy our Secretary of Poor Health in his basement, the only testing facilities available in the United States due to the cleaning up of corruption and fraud resulting in the shutdown of all CDC laboratories in our country, unacceptable amounts of toenail fungus have been discovered in chemical analysis of all samples of Portuguese wine.
President Trump informed of this contamination of wine referred to it as “Wart Wine” as he correctly named Covid-19 as Kung Flu banned the sale of this filthy stuff to Make America Pure Again.
The New Republican Guard under the brave management of The Shame Boys and the Oath Breakers has obtained secret video of Portuguese citizens stomping on grapes with unwashed feet in big cement vats a universal practice in Portugal where donkeys are the chief method of transportation in a primitive country and sanitary standards are non-existent.
“Drink American Wine” President Trump commands! “Make California Great Again.”
Gustavo Franchesina of the Portuguese Wine Export Association responded in language that Spoof can’t repeat but we can say in the gentlest terms he was displeased.
Further details and reaction from the Portuguese government will follow.
Trump’s “Hamburger Helper Plan” Threatens Middle East’s Fragile Stability: Cairo: 3March2025: Spoof News Services
Egyptian President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi spared no kind words for President Donald Trump’s “so called plan” to solve the Israeli blockade of humanitarian aid to Palestine by supplying such aid only south of the Palestinian city of Khan Younis proximate to the Egyptian border with Palestine. The aid was to commence flowing on 5March2025 with initial shipments of Johnson & Johnson band aids, sheets (just like Biden), Hamburger Helper and white Wonder Bread.
According to El-Sisi, “This so-called humanitarian gesture is nothing but an empty and deceptive gesture to move out a starving population with the lure of food so that all territory can be developed by Kushner Crush-em real estate interests. Egypt expresses the utmost solidarity with our Palestinian Muslim brothers unless they get too close to our borders. The United States expends massive efforts to control terrorism yet by such a plan it will create legions of desperate, angry and vengeful soon to be terrorists that will wreak havoc in the United States and with its allies of which now it has none. I urge the United States to develop a viable peace plan for Palestine not a starve em round up like a herd of Texas cattle.”
Throughout the Muslim world violent demonstrations ensued after a Canadian television show “The 6th Estate” revealed the Wonder Bread to be shipped had green mold on it and The Hamburger Helper, all expired, had dried pork shreds in it violating Muslim dietary rules. President Trump’s reaction was, “If they are hungry they’ll eat anything. Like that Zelensky these people show no gratitude for the assistance American people have given them.”
Melania’s Melatonin Hits Late Night Infomercial Circuit: Blissful Sleeps in Times of Stress! : Des Moines: 3March2025: Spoof News Services:
Spoof has received several complaints from Canadians, Danes, Greenlanders and Mexicans about late night infomercials hawking “Melania’s Melatonin”.
The First Lady is seen beaming waving the American flag explaining there are huge amounts of stress in the world particularly in Greenland, Denmark, Canada and Mexico because of the dismal failure of so many to believe the Golden Age which not only applies to the United States but the entire world. In bible thumping fashion Melania Trump waves the American flag and shouts, “BELIEVE!”
The International Supplement Regulatory Authority based in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan warns consumers to be aware of this supplement that is crossing borders in mass quantities and causing severe diarrhea sickening thousands. In addition to a miniscule amount of melatonin in the capsules there are traces of North Korean ginger and Kentucky corn syrup.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada admonished President Trump threatening a complete boycott of American iceberg lettuce until the Canada United States border was shored up to stop the flow ravaging Canada and sickening thousands. “Get your Blackhawks and National Guard out there, not to invade us, but to stop this plague. There are thousands of people soiling themselves all over the world because of this poison.”
Spoof has learnt in total six bottles of Melania’s Melatonin entered Canada in the last three days. Mr. Trudeau vowed to heighten his anti-melatonism rhetoric until Canada was free of this vicious supplement and if this is not done Vermont will become a Canadian province.
Greenland added to the furor by halting all shipments of whale blubber to the United States a crippling blow to American fast-food restaurants for fast frying so much fast food. A 436% American tariff on Canadian canola oil has made fast frying in the United States unaffordable. The substitute pork lard is not being received well by American consumers.’
White House Photo by Regine Mahaux.
Moscow’s Oligarch Hall of Fame Inducts Donald J. Trump as New Member: 3March2025: Spoof News Services: Stalingrad
Moscow’s Oligarch Hall of Fame today announced a new member Donald Trump, President of the United States.
Moscow’s Oligarch Hall of Fame Chairman Petros Polievchinsky, nephew of President Vladimir Putin, made the announcement in a press conference at the Melania Marriot in downtown Stalingrad yesterday evening.
Polievchinsky toasting President Trump with a large glass of Kentucky bourbon (that Canadians refrain from drinking) provided the following reasons for the induction:
- Bypassing the legislative process in the United States and ruling by executive order
- Appointing “special advisers” to destroy the American bureaucratic infrastructure
- Muzzling the media by controlling access by it to the Presidency
- Appointing the uneducated and bizarros to his cabinet to make them more easily manipulated
- Slapping around that insolent Ukrainian pig
- Threatening all who “mercilessly persecuted” him
- Stacking the federal courts with lackeys
- Bullying and mocking long time friends and allies like Canada and offering a peace branch by graciously allowing them to be the 51st state
- Using great sounding excuses like fentanyl and tariffs to run roughshod over Mexico and Canada where the fentanyl problem is insatiable American demand by dropouts from the Golden Age
- Calling our President Vladmir Putin “a really great guy”
- Promulgating a new ideology of a “Golden Age” as a rationale to guide the feeble masses
- Attempting the overthrow of a validly elected President in the glorious Sixtember incident
- Upon losing an election claiming it was solen from him
- Avoiding criminal prosecution for many acts
- Being extremely savvy in letting fall guys like Musk do his dirty work so he could avoid taking the fall
Polievchinsky noted President Trump obtains gold status membership behind President Putin who holds platinum status. Those current living members holding bronze status are Kim Jong Um Supreme Leader of North Korea, Victor Orbán Prime Minister of Hungary, President Lukashenko of Belarus and President Erdoğan of Turkey.
Humanitarian Aid Blockade of Palestine to End: Trump Says the United States Has a Heart: Spoof News Services. 3March2025
At a White House briefing this afternoon President Trump explained to a docile and controlled media group (that Spoof has been barred from) the United States has a heart and will soon have aid flowing into Southern Palestine.
President Trump took pains to say he has many friends in Palestine and they are great people. Great people that he loves and cares about and to show it Palestinians are to “be eating like kings and not those bready pancake type things they eat but truck loads of Wonder Bread and Hamburger Helper, real high quality American food that healthy obese Americans enjoy everyday. And we’ll be sending Ozempic so they can feast like kings and not become overweight!”
President Trump said that all food will be available from Khan Younis and southward enabling all Palestinian lands northward to be transformed into a modern “civilized place”. Trump added, “All good mannered and decent Palestinians will head southward like hungry dogs looking for food. Those that remain are Hamas terrorists and my good friend BiBi in Tel Aviv will control the situation to make the area safe for development. No president has come this close to impose lasting peace in the area and it is all being done by me.”
Spoof reports that 3 large American cargo planes arrived yesterday at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv and some 15 small vans marked “Kushner Crushem Realty” were later seen parked at Tel Aviv’s Trump Tower Hotel.
As President Trump has ruled by executive order “bypassing the messy legislative process” he has so many on his desk it is uncertain when the necessary executive orders will be signed.
No comment was made by President Trump when and if the displaced Palestinians will be permitted to return but comments were made by White House Press Secretary Sally Tropjuene that President Trump knows how to build the “best walls.”
A Bird's Eye View of Fashion, Food, Travel, Culture, Beverage and Curiosity 